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Topics - Lyn Renn

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Freestyle Roleplaying / so much stardust | closed
« on: 08/16/2023 at 03:17 »
a few hours after this
7th of august, 1966
kitri's flat

"Open the damn door, Kitri!"

The slur in his words, even those simple five, wasn't lost on him. This was probably a bad idea. It'd occurred to him on the walk over, even more, when he'd realized he'd be too drunk to pull off an apparition, and a degree higher when he'd missed a step and fallen elbow first climbing the small uprise to her door.

His hand felt numb. He wasn't exactly sure how many times he'd banged on her door, or how many times he'd pleaded for her to open it. Lyn just knew he needed to fix things. She wasn't someone he was ultimately willing to let walk out of his life. That was what he'd decided to go with back during dinner, although a far more sober decision than the one he was currently making when he'd chosen his pride over her.

"What do I have to say? I said I'm sorry already. I'm not, just, open the goddamn door!"

The number of different inflections, tones, and degrees of volume in a single stream of words told the entire story. The act of this itself, for him at least, felt like more than he had ever done for another person before. It should be enough.

He'd let all the rest go. All of his other relationships. All of his other connections. And he'd accepted it with the same level of dismissiveness. A memory he could look back on and enjoy the bits he liked without giving the reason there wasn't any deeper acknowledgment.

"Shit, I–"

He threw up on her front door.

It was the last time he'd see it, he figured, when he gave it a hard kick that left his toes bruised and walked off.

What Llywelyn Ridley Renn would fail to realize, what he would need to if he'd ever mature out of the shallow cocoon of irredeemable hubris that he wallowed in, was that his perceptions of enough were never going to be enough. Not for those that deserved far better than him.

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