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Messages - Martin Hawksworth
21
« on: 20/12/2016 at 01:57 »
Miss Cole,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
22
« on: 20/12/2016 at 01:49 »
Hello and welcome to the site!
Elladora's application is coming along wonderfully, I just have a couple things I would like you to do before we set your characters up.
You mentioned that Ella is a muggleborn, so both her parents are clueless about magic; was the letter shocking? Elladora seems like a joyous person, is she doing her best to keep up a bright attitude in the face of such change? It would be perfect if you added just a little bit to the end of her biography to tie together how she is reacting to the realization that magic is real.
Also, in your roleplay response you have Elladora tell Evangeline that Emma is upstairs. Is she referring to a different Emma, presuming they must be the same person? Is she just hoping it throws Evangeline off so she leaves? If either of these were what you were going for, then maybe a brief explanation as to Ella's reasoning should be noted, just so it doesn't' seem as though you ignored the other writer's 'setup' where Emma is a ghost.
When set, please reply below with the entire revised application and we will be happy to take another look!
23
« on: 20/12/2016 at 01:22 »
Mr Grimme,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
24
« on: 13/12/2016 at 17:02 »
Mr Lee,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
25
« on: 13/12/2016 at 16:56 »
Miss Brannen,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
26
« on: 13/12/2016 at 16:52 »
Hello Olivia, and welcome to the site!
Your application is coming along beautifully. Olivia seems absolutely wonderful. Your RP response could use a quick alteration since we don't know which house Olivia will end up in yet.
Right now you have her overhearing the conversation from within the Gryffindor common room, which suggests she is a Gryffindor. If you could move this over to the Library or maybe one of the corridors, it would allow Olivia to still be from any of the houses.
When set, please reply below with the entire revised application and we will be happy to take another look ^_^
27
« on: 13/12/2016 at 02:56 »
Mr Blackwood,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
28
« on: 13/12/2016 at 02:12 »
Hello Julias, your application is lovely! The level of closeness between your character and his twin caused a bit of delay but I know after a quick discussion with you that you were conveying that sort of special closeness between twins that can confuse some people around them.
I imagine that this 'closeness' made their caretaker uncomfortable? Did he possibly misinterpret the sibling bond and think there must have been something else going on? Is that why Julias was sent to another school?
If so, it might be really awesome if you added a bit more detail to the man's (their caretaker) reaction and mistaken judgment. It might be the perfect piece to add in order to show that these sibling's innocently close interactions can sometimes be misinterpreted.
29
« on: 03/12/2016 at 21:53 »
Got the PM. I am archiving this student app. This would be a second student at the castle. Thanks for the heads up!
30
« on: 22/11/2016 at 02:37 »
Accepted!!
31
« on: 01/11/2016 at 23:55 »
Accepted!
32
« on: 19/10/2016 at 00:30 »
Accepted!
33
« on: 06/09/2016 at 21:39 »
Hello Theo!
Your application is coming along wonderfully, but I was thrown slightly by Theo being a muggleborn. Since his grandparents on his mother's side have magical abilities, he would be considered a halfblood. His mother may be a squib, unable to perform magic, but he still theoretically has a line of magical lineage on his mother's side.
Also, in your roleplay response you have Theo leaving very quickly, basically ending the possibility of series of replies back and forth between you and the writer behind Janey. Though this isn't a real roleplay between two or more individuals, we ask that you treat it like it is, so that we can see how you would have stretched this interaction out a bit.
Also, and this is just my curiosity kicking in, why does Theo presume little Janey is 'lesser' than he is? I didn't necessarily get the impression from his biography that Theo had developed a class prejudice of any kind, so if you could clarify what is affecting his thought process here, it would be great. Feel free to add this clarification into his biography, because it is probably a big part of Theo's personality right now!
When set, please reply below with the entire revised application and we will be happy to take another look!
34
« on: 31/08/2016 at 20:57 »
Mr Frost,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 September, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
35
« on: 31/08/2016 at 20:42 »
Hello Benjamin, and welcome back!
Your application is just splendid. There is a little thing however about the Time Warp that needs adjusting; you implied that Ben had heard news that the slide was coming, but in reality this 'event' was one big surprise to the wizarding world as a whole.
It is safe to presume that NO one knew what was about to happen, relatively speaking. There might be the inkling that something unsettling was about to occur in those individuals with especially high Divination levels, but otherwise, the Time Warp hit everyone unawares.
If you could alter that reference in your application, we would appreciate it. Please reply below with the entire revised application, and we will be so very happy to take another look!
36
« on: 31/08/2016 at 09:49 »
Miss Bradshaw,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 September, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
37
« on: 30/08/2016 at 22:45 »
A quick question: is Kylar definitely a muggleborn with two muggle parents? Because his biography would be very different than you've written it. Or is he himself a halfblood, which would allow your biography to remain mostly in tact with only a few elements clarified?
I want to make double sure I understand, because with him being born well into 1937, he might not have been pulled back with the wizarding world, and instead is with his muggle parents in 1985... which of course means that he isn't back here with us to be roleplayed in 1948.
We are more than willing to chat if this is confusing! Just ask some questions and we can work this out.
38
« on: 30/08/2016 at 22:31 »
Hello Theo, Your application is looking lovely, but I definitely have to remind you, what with Theo being a muggleborn, that the wizarding world experienced the Time Warp starting in 1937. We have some information here and here about the event that hit our wizarding world back in the 1970s which pulled only the wizarding communities across the world backwards in time. The muggle world of course stayed put, to live out their existence. This event hit muggleborns the hardest because muggle ties seemed to up and disappear completely. Halfbloods with immediate muggle family were also hit hard if one of the parents was a muggle. This definitely affect's Theo's life, as by 1937 Theo would only have been four years old and possibly losing the only parent he knew! How do you want to alter his biography? Also, Helen Kane looks to be a halfblood with her two magical parents, so maybe I am simply just missing something? After you've given it some thought, please post below with the entire revised application and we will be happy to take another look!
39
« on: 30/08/2016 at 22:13 »
Miss Daube,
Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 September, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.
Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager
40
« on: 30/08/2016 at 21:49 »
Good to know, thank you for the note, but would you also be able to work that into your character's biography? All you have to do is reply below with your written application, make the edits that you've suggested to her biography, and then we will be able to view the slightly altered application in its entirety!
Also, I would love to see Mia linger for a little while longer in the gardens. Remember that everyone likes to get the opportunity to roleplay a bit back and forth, but with Mia leaving so quickly, there will be no good opportunity for Hugh to respond back (if this were a real thread instead of a sample thread). You are also leaving Hugh in a position of being powerplayed, which we do not allow - it isn't big, but by handing him back his rat, and implying that he did in deed take it and stand there dumbfounded, you are taking control of a character that isn't yours, or in other words, powerplaying.
You can definitely attempt to hand back the rat and await Hugh's reaction. He probably would take it back, but it is the exchange back and forth during such a short moment in the day that we are interested in roleplaying out, as it is during these moments that we make friends, lose friends, and live life!
Mia is just a darling and it will be wonderful to read through the complete application. Please post below with the entire revised application and we will be very happy to take another look!
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