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Author Topic: Esther Leifsson  (Read 836 times)

Esther Leifsson

    (13/08/2014 at 11:10)
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Application for Hogwarts School




→ CHARACTER INFORMATION.
Name: Esther Leifsson

Birthday: 8th of January, 1930

Hometown: Stockholm, Sweden.

Bloodline:
Muggleborn / Halfblood / Pureblood / Unknown

Magical Strength (pick one):
Divination / Transfiguration / Charms / Conjuring & Summoning

Magical Weakness (pick one):
Divination / Transfiguration / Charms / Conjuring & Summoning

Year (pick two): Second, Third.

Biography:
If you are applying to be a first, second, or third year, your biography must be at least one hundred words long.
If you are applying to be a fourth year or above, your biography must be at least three hundred words long.


Esther is a studious child, born in 1930 to two magical parents. She has no extra-ordinary abilities and is a witch. She enjoys reading, writing and composing music in the way a muggle might. Her parents knew that she was a witch from her fourth year of birth, as that was when she showed true signs of being magical(if your toddler was floating a few inches off of her crib, you'd assume so). She was a healthy child too, with no abnormalities or nasty hexes. Though Esther is talented with a quill, she fails at Quidditch and Divination, but that doesn't bother her too much. Esther does not care for friends and would rather have her face in a book.

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.
Note: This section is optional, and is up to you to complete.

House Request: Ravenclaw

Personality: Reserved, timid and irritable.

Appearance: Smoothed down ginger hair at a proper, medium length with very pale skin and ice-blue eyes. She is at a large height, but has a slender frame.

→ SAMPLE ROLEPLAY.
Please reply to one of the Sample Roleplays below.

((ROLEPLAY #2))

Esther smiled at Astrid, thinking back to her question. Of course, Esther's voice caught in her throat as she saw Astrid wait for her response.

'I honestly would not mind that, really' Esther said with a smell shrug, pink flushing her cheeks. 'They're just frog legs, and it's not like other students must eat them. I think I'll give them a try though'.

She smiled once again at Astrid, whose quill was scratching her parchment. Astrid considered asking a question about the paper, but decided against it as she could feel her voice getting caught in her thought again. 'What do you think about it?' Esther asked her, her voice slightly quivering.

Esther was surprised to see the look of shock on Astrid's face, obviously caught off-guard.  Esther muttered a quick apology and turned on her heel and walked away, not realizing that she was being rude.



→ ABOUT YOU.

Previous Characters (if applicable): N/A

How did you find us?: Use of a Search Engine.

((Sorry, I feel like I need to add that I've submitted a helpdesk ticket to fix my username into Esther Leifsson!))


Isabelle Valentine

    (15/08/2014 at 03:01)
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Hi Esther, and welcome to Hoggies! Your application looks like it's off to a good start. There's just a couple of quick things I'd like to address before we can get you accepted.

The first and most important thing is that your roleplay sample, while generally good, includes some mild powerplaying. Powerplaying is when you attempt to control another character's thoughts, speech, or actions within your post. Things like this:

Quote
She smiled once again at Astrid, whose quill was scratching her parchment.

and

Quote
Esther was surprised to see the look of shock on Astrid's face, obviously caught off-guard.

were never stated in the post/RP option that you replied to. By adding them to your reply, you're forcing Astrid into an action and an expression that maybe her writer wasn't intending to portray, and that's going to make it harder for her to respond. If you could edit your RP response to remove or reword the powerplaying, we'd be happy to take another look! If you have any questions about what powerplaying is and how to avoid it, please feel free to check our RP guidelines and/or PM a staff member. We're happy to help!

Thanks!

- Izzy
Well, I’m not such a sweet thing
I wanna do everything
What a beautiful feeling

♦♦♦

Esther Leifsson

    (15/08/2014 at 09:50)
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Hello there! Thank you for the reply.

I haven't had much experience roleplaying, so I'm learning. I noticed this mistake after I had posted it so I couldn't edit it, oh well!

I'll be on the look out for it next time.

Am I to fix the roleplay sample or leave it at that? Thanks.

Cedric Galyn

    (15/08/2014 at 11:29)
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Hi Esther!

We ask that you rewrite the sample. It's best to rewrite the changes and then repost the whole application below just so we can more easily see what's been changed and get you RPing faster. You mentioned you couldn't edit, so I've included the code for what you wrote above to make it easier on you (so much typing......).  You should also check and see if there is a yellow speech bubble with a green plus sign underneath your character's name; if so, click that to edit posts.

Hope that helps, and looking forward to the rewrite!

- Ced

Code: [Select]
[center]
[img width=200]http://hogwarts-school.net/images/hogwartslogo.png[/img][/center]

[center][font=archer][size=25px]Application for Hogwarts School[/size][/font][/center]

[hr][hr]

[font=archer][size=20px]→ CHARACTER INFORMATION.[/size][/font][color=#777]
[b]Name:[/b] Esther Leifsson

[b]Birthday:[/b] 8th of January, 1930

[b]Hometown:[/b] Stockholm, Sweden.

[b]Bloodline:[/b]
Muggleborn / Halfblood /[b] Pureblood [/b]/ Unknown

[b]Magical Strength (pick one):[/b]
Divination / Transfiguration / [b]Charms [/b]/ Conjuring & Summoning

[b]Magical Weakness (pick one):[/b]
[b]Divination[/b] / Transfiguration / Charms / Conjuring & Summoning

[b]Year (pick two):[/b] Second, Third.

[b]Biography:[/b]
[i]If you are applying to be a first, second, or third year, your biography must be at least one hundred words long.
If you are applying to be a fourth year or above, your biography must be at least three hundred words long.[/i]

Esther is a studious child, born in 1930 to two magical parents. She has no extra-ordinary abilities and is a witch. She enjoys reading, writing and composing music in the way a muggle might. Her parents knew that she was a witch from her fourth year of birth, as that was when she showed true signs of being magical(if your toddler was floating a few inches off of her crib, you'd assume so). She was a healthy child too, with no abnormalities or nasty hexes. Though Esther is talented with a quill, she fails at Quidditch and Divination, but that doesn't bother her too much. Esther does not care for friends and would rather have her face in a book.

[/color][font=archer][size=20px]→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.[/size][/font]
[i]Note: This section is optional, and is up to you to complete.[/i][color=#777]

[b]House Request:[/b] Ravenclaw

[b]Personality:[/b] Reserved, timid and irritable.

[b]Appearance:[/b] Smoothed down ginger hair at a proper, medium length with very pale skin and ice-blue eyes. She is at a large height, but has a slender frame.

[/color][font=archer][size=20px]→ SAMPLE ROLEPLAY.[/size][/font]
[i]Please reply to one of the Sample Roleplays below.[/i] [color=#777]

((ROLEPLAY #2))

Esther smiled at Astrid, thinking back to her question. Of course, Esther's voice caught in her throat as she saw Astrid wait for her response.

'I honestly would not mind that, really' Esther said with a smell shrug, pink flushing her cheeks. 'They're just frog legs, and it's not like other students must eat them. I think I'll give them a try though'.

She smiled once again at Astrid, whose quill was scratching her parchment. Astrid considered asking a question about the paper, but decided against it as she could feel her voice getting caught in her thought again. 'What do you think about it?' Esther asked her, her voice slightly quivering.

Esther was surprised to see the look of shock on Astrid's face, obviously caught off-guard.  Esther muttered a quick apology and turned on her heel and walked away, not realizing that she was being rude.



[/color][font=archer][size=20px]→ ABOUT YOU.[/size][/font][color=#777]

[b]Previous Characters (if applicable):[/b] N/A

[b]How did you find us?:[/b] Use of a Search Engine.

((Sorry, I feel like I need to add that I've submitted a helpdesk ticket to fix my username into Esther Leifsson!))

[/color]   

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