caesura | rae

[Ophelia Marquis]

1 September 1973
10:47 am
platform 9 ^3/4

Oh, Ophelia hadn't missed this.

Tiny bodies were pushing at her from all angles, encroaching on her space, her breath, her dignity. Shrill cries pierced the already saturated air and Ophelia strained against the din, desperate for a moment's silent calm. She'd always hated this, she realised now. These days she had the luxury of being taller than most of the platform's populace, yet she still felt like the might be swept along in the bustle and drown in the ceaseless noise.

How on earth she'd tolerated this nonsense as a child was beyond her, though she suspected there were a few joys from those days that she'd forgotten as well.

Ruth was hanging onto her, the little girl's hand sticky from the ice cream that had, up until half an hour ago, monopolised the full scope of her attention. One of the larger boys seemed to lunge straight at them before swerving past, entirely too obnoxious in the way he made for the small cluster of teenagers behind them. Sharp elm twitched at Ophelia's hip but the moment passed and by the time the pair came to a stop, the pinch of annoyance had been replaced with a measured smile.

"Do you have your lunch?" she asked unnecessarily, already knowing the answer to that one. Even after a solid year of being fed, clothed and cared for, Ruth still assumed that food would simply run out if she didn't pay close attention. The muggle-style lunchbox would be within easy reach and Ophelia was willing to bet that at least half of the sugary profiteroles she'd bought to feed her own craving would have disappeared into her daughter's luggage as well. Ruth had money for the trolley, of course, but as Ophelia rightfully realised, that trolley might be delayed, or hijacked or stripped of all food before it reached the cavernous belly of one Ruth Anaya Elliot.

The box's sole purpose was to mitigate disaster.

"Aim for the middle if you want a quiet carriage."

The cool kids usually sat at the back, the smaller ones at the front. Ophelia had been a card carrying member of the former group yet if she could do it all over again, she'd nap instead of placating the likes of the Undergroves and Ricardus clan. If those dark circles were anything to go by, she guessed Ruth could do with a few hours of sleep before the school year opened to her.

[Ruth Elliot]

To say that Rae was hanging onto Ophelia would have been a grossly understated observation. The vice like grip with which she clung to the woman's hand ran the risk of cutting circulation if she wasn't made to ease up at some point. Stepping through the barrier into Platform 9 3/4...the chances of that happening diminished significantly.

Rae had managed to distract herself through their final ice cream date of the summer, forcing herself to focus on the chocolate held in place only by Ophelia's effortless charm to keep it chilled. It had been easy to do what she'd done for most of the summer, blindly ignore reality, substituting it for a reality of her own. When they'd entered the ice cream shop, it had been easy to pretend it was any other day in summer, that they would eat and laugh then head for the beach or to a shopping area or back home for Ophelia to help her with her spelling--she could spell Slytherin now. It was about time she got the letters right for the house she cared nothing for.

The thin mirror that reflected her inner world back to her shattered on the bustling platform and everything suddenly became...very real.

The general excitement of returning to Hogwarts and the nerves of the new first years boarding for the first time rose like one, loud and indistinguishable din in her ears. "Don't make me go." Rae shook her head vigorously, ignoring the talk of her packed lunch and where she was meant to sit. The thought of food churned her stomach as the Hogwarts Express stood looming.

Rae recoiled at the sight of it, barely noticing the boy who'd nearly run into them.

Someone waved. She didn't wave back.

The colour drained from the little girl's face as she watched a few students already skipping their way into the train. She was going back. She was going to have to go back. Rae tugged at Ophelia, trying to get her back through the platform wall.

The now second-year couldn't do it. Wouldn't do. One year had been enough. "Don't...I don't want to. I can stay home--you don't have to watch me. I'll be good, I promise." Steam hissed from the train's engine, the train announcing its presence once more, lest she forget it was still sitting there...waiting for her...wanting to take her back. The sound provoked a thunderous beating in her chest and her eyes grew wide with panic as she looked up at her mother. "I can't go. Please."

[Ophelia Marquis]

She should have recognised Ruth's iron grip for the feeble protest that it was, instead of assuming it was a sign of feverish attachment. The little girl had been clinging to Ophelia's hand all day, yet she'd assumed it was simply a symptom of her enthusiastic need for affection. Had Ophelia realised, it would have been easy enough to negotiate a tenuous truce before even stepping onto the platform. She could have promised her another ice cream, or tempted her with a ghoul sighting if only she behaved. The tears would have been dry by now, all traces wiped from her cheeks, and the slightly trembling lip would have been the only sign of the disaster that had been averted.

Unfortunately, Ophelia had not spotted the impending calamity. They were trapped within the throng of passersby, just a few steps away from the train, and very soon people would be looking.

"You can't stay home, Ruthie."

This in a tone that suggested that they'd been through all of this before and that the girl simply needed a soft reminder of the excellent arguments in favour of a Hogwarts education.

"I can come and see you in Hogsmeade, if you want. And we can write every few days..."

A lie, because those letters had a way of drying up when Ophelia's minutes became fuller. At least the lie was a worthy one and in the past it had actually bought the pair of them some time. Yet, as the voices around them turned exhuberant and the shrill shriek of the whistle pierced the last of Ophelia's resolve, she already knew that those letters wouldn't be enough to keep the angry tears at bay.

"You're going back today."

Please, she didn't add, but only because the sight of the Express and the newly awoken memories from this place kept her from pleading.

[Ruth Elliot]

She wasn't listening.

This was important and Ophelia wasn't listening. It would happen again. Another year trapped in a castle with horrible people who did horrible things, rules that didn't make sense, people who'd only pretended to be her friends, and everything in between.

The panic in Rae's eyes grew in tandem with the horrendous pounding that only served to exacerbate her distress. The little girl could feel the blood pumping in her eyes, her once pale face reddening as more and more children hopped merrily onto the train. The iron demon hissed at her again, piercing through the ruckus of the platform to menace her more than it already had.

Come, they seemed to say, their laughter attempting to penetrate the fortress she was steadily building. The inaudible calls did not sway her, nor did Ophelia's exasperation.

Ruth! There you are! A voice called jovially from across the platform. One of her dormmates; a lovely girl who shared her bed with her sometimes. The greeting set her off, the reality of the situation clenching her with invisible hands around her neck, suffocating her until Rae felt sure she would pass out.

The hopelessness of her situation brought tears. Rae recoiled further, pressing into Ophelia and burying her face into her. The woman's body muffled what would have otherwise been a loud and...shrill scream but it wasn't enough to swallow it entirely. Rae screamed louder, overwhelmed by the conclusion Ophelia had already drawn on the day's events. It didn't matter who saw. Rae didn't care much for the opinions of others on a good day. Distraught and feeling like her entire world was shattering, she did the only thing she knew; she erupted.

The little girl's feelings were too big when it came to Hogwarts. Too big, too scary, too raw for her to begin to process, and once the dam had burst, there was no containing its outpour.

She shook her head fiercely, getting Ophelia's top soaked. She didn't want letters and she didn't want Hogsmeade; she wanted to go home.

Rae no longer used words, nor did she make the attempt. Her communication had broken down tremendously to fretful screams and wails that had several parents and their children staring at the pair. Some were concerned, some judged silently while others still did their best to pretend they didn't see the meltdown happening before their eyes.