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Author Topic: Us and Them | Nael  (Read 220 times)

* Rosalie Laurence

    (17/01/2025 at 22:30)
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Monday, October 29, 1973
Noon

"This was a good idea."

Rosalie sat cross-legged on the little blanket she'd brought down from her dorm, a little bowl of sliced fruit in her lap. She picked through it for a moment, before choosing a piece of apple and popping it into her mouth. She held out the bowl to Nael and nodded, offering him whatever he'd like. He'd asked her if she wanted to have lunch with him in the grass down by the lake, away from the hundreds of prying eyes of the Great Hall.

After more than a week of radio silence between the two, his invitation to catch up, on their own was very welcome. Rosie knew they had some things they needed to clear the air over. Their last interaction - if it could be called that - had been in the dungeons, the day Nael had hexed Katherine. By her own choice - or maybe both of theirs - Rosie and Nael and stayed away from one another. Not actively avoiding, but not going out of their way to interact either.

"Did Julia give you a really hard time?" Rosie asked, as she set the bowl down between the two of them and reached into her bag to pull out a couple of bottles of pumpkin juice and sandwiches that Toddles had wrapped up for her. She handed one of each to Nael before popping the top off of her juice.

"I meant to tell you thank you. For sticking up for me," she said quietly and her eyes finally met his for the first time since they'd sat down. A small smile met her lips and she gave a shrug. "I'm sorry that you got in trouble for it. Next time tell me when you have detention, and I'll steer her clear of that area." Her smile grew wider, avoiding the awkward question she wanted to ask and the follow-up where she'd have to explain she'd had nothing to do with it.
they taped over your mouth
✧✦
scribbled out the truth with their lies

* Nael Al-Azma

    (18/01/2025 at 12:43)
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"Thanks." Nael took a piece of watermelon out of the fruit bowl that Rosie offered to him. In turn he reached into his own bag and pulled out a small box filled with candy. Nael had learned that Rosie tried to stay clear of sweets, but he had brought it anyway. She needed to learn to live a little when it came to this. No one was going to bust her for eating some chocolate or gummy worms. It even had his favorite licorice in there. The things she was missing out on.

Lifting the lid off the box, Nael put it down between them and tried to relax a little more. They had not talked since that detention. The events of that day had given his nightmares more fuel and he'd barely slept since. Nael was masking this well by now, but he had not found the energy to talk to her about what happened. Maybe Cassian had done that already. Or Miss Laurence.

This morning he had seen her in class and had just asked her to have lunch with him. Nael did not want their friendship to become weird over this, and if they could spend some time together without others overhearing or making fun, it would probably make things better again.

"No, it was okay," Nael said, shook his head and took a bite from his watermelon. "She just talked to me, and I have to do stuff around the library. I'm there a lot anyway." It could have been much worse, but that talk with Julia was still on his mind.

Nael took the sandwich and the juice from her once he finished his fruit. She had thought of everything, even the little blanket she'd brought. Boy, he really sucked at this.

"Any time, Rosie," Nael said with a smile and a shrug in return. In truth he did not really know how to react to this thank you. At the time he had not thought about it at all. It had just sounded all kinds of wrong what Dankworth was saying. "I knew it wasn't true what she said. I mean, you would have told me if Cassian or Oliver was your boyfriend, right?" His own role in the whole thing did not matter. Besides he knew she wasn't his girlfriend.

Nael looked put on the lake and then back to Rosie, his eyes studying her face a little before daring to ask what was on his mind. "Why...why would she say that about you? Aren't you friends?"
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my
throne

* Rosalie Laurence

    (19/01/2025 at 22:21)
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"Good, she can be really tough sometimes, so I'm glad she went easy on you," Rosie said, taking a sip from her bottle. Tough was an understatement. When it came to her family, Rosalie had witnessed Julia being absolutely brutal with members when they stepped out of line. Not physically of course, but always with her words and penetrating stares. Mum said that as soon as Uncle William passed away and Edith became the duchess, someone would finally put Julia in her place. Rosalie didn't think Julia needed to be put in her place by anyone - she rather liked her cousin the way she was.

Still, she was glad to know Julia wasn't the same towards the kids at Hogwarts. "If you want help, I'm there all the time too. She's always got me doing stuff." Nael put a box of candy down between them and she looked at it for a moment, trying to consider if she wanted any. She did - she'd never had a gummy worm before, and she'd heard they were sour.

She took a sip of her pumpkin juice instead.

He shrugged and smiled at her thank you, but Rosalie meant it. Hearing Nael defend her and stand up for her, especially when he didn't even know she could hear him meant everything to her. It would have been easier to say and do nothing. She picked through the fruit bowl for a moment, before settling on a strawberry. "Oh yeah, I'd tell you right away if I had a boyfriend, no matter who it is," she said nodding, her tone casual and genuine. Nael would probably be the first person she ran to tell if she ever found herself with a boyfriend.

She paused a moment and then slowly looked up to meet his eyes again. "It would never be Oliver Min." A small smile tightened on her lips and she dropped her eyes again. She knew there didn't need to be a further explanation. It was enough to say that what Oliver had done and called Nael was something Rosalie wouldn't tolerate. She didn't tolerate bullies as her friends, and she definitely wouldn't tolerate one as her boyfriend. "I'm not ready for all that though, you know? Are you?"

"Why...why would she say that about you? Aren't you friends?"

Rosalie cocked her head to the side and gave a little shrug of her shoulder. "I don't know Nael. Why do people do mean things?" She stared down at her sandwich as she unwrapped it, suddenly feeling a strong loss of appetite. "I don't know if we were friends," she finally looked up, and her lips tightened as she met his gaze again. "But I hadn't done anything to her."

Rosie didn't know why Kate had said what she did, or why she'd chosen her to say it about. It was just a mean thing that Rosie would never say about another girl, even if she thought it were true. "Are you mad? I don't think I could stand it if I thought you were mad at me, Nael."


« Last Edit: 19/01/2025 at 22:38 by Rosalie Laurence »
what the hell
all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking

* Nael Al-Azma

    (20/01/2025 at 22:37)
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Nael had seen perhaps a fraction of Julia’s tough side back in Diagon Alley over the summer. The way she had talked to that tailor had not been forgotten by Nael. She'd talked that same way at the wedding to Rosie's mother. Like she was superior to them all. Nael knew this tone from Nabih well enough and some of those Slytherin boys were practicing it as well already. "That sounds great. I like the library, and I study there almost daily, so it's not much of a punishment."

The talk had been punishment enough. It had opened a can of worms inside of Nael that the boy was desperately trying to close again. He wasn't supposed to run from it, but he could not handle it either right now. His mother leaving had not even been a year and he wasn't going to be like a desperate puppy looking for a replacement. All Nael had to tell himself was that Julia was like everyone else around here and he would be fine again. It just wasn't working just yet.

Rosie's eyes went to the candy but she didn't take one. For some reason she just didn't dare eat it, no matter what. Nael took a sour lemon drop and popped it into his mouth. After licorice, those were his second favorite.

"I'm not ready for all that though, you know? Are you?"

There was relief going through him when he heard that Rosie would never date Oliver Min. It had looked like he was taken by Dankworth anyway. Thank Merlin. "Is there a time to be ready for it? I don't know really. I don't think I am anyway." Girls were not on his mind a lot, if he was honest. Yes, he liked spending time with Rosie and also with Eira. And sometimes it got a bit awkward for some reason, but that was it.

Nael fell silent, while looking at Rosie. It seemed like she had been surprised by Kate saying these things about her. This was her room mate after all, and they sometimes got to see a different side of you just by sleeping in the same room with you.

"Are you mad? I don't think I could stand it if I thought you were mad at me, Nael."

Nael could not help but laugh at this. "Why would I be mad at you? I should have hexed her harder." Still laughing Nael unwrapped his sandwich but had an idea before biting into it. His dark eyes came up to her sparkling blue ones and there was slight mischief in his.

"Let's play a game." He sat up and put his sandwich down on the wrapping paper. "Trust me? Close your eyes and open your mouth." Looking at her expectantly, Nael noticed her hesitation. "Come on, Rosie. I promise, it's nothing disgusting." There was that smile he liked so much and finally she relented and closed her eyes and popped her mouth open.

"No peeking!" A playful warning, just before he took a sour gummy worm and made it crawl into her mouth. "Don't open your eyes just yet. Chew and tell me what it tastes like and what you think it is."
I am machine
It wasn't supposed to be this way

We were meant to feel the pain

I don't like what I am becoming

Wish I could just feel something

* Rosalie Laurence

    (22/01/2025 at 04:03)
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Rosalie cocked her head to the side as she looked at Nael, "Well, maybe not." She thought for a moment and finally said, "I don't know. Maybe it just all happens when it happens you know?" She unwrapped her sandwich as she thought out loud, "Seems like everyone except us is snogging or...other things." She shrugged and took a small bite of her sandwich, covering her mouth with her hand as she chewed. She looked at Nael again in interest, "Maybe we're the weird ones." She gave him a tight little smile and thought for a moment, wondering if she should say what was on her mind.

She felt comfortable with Nael - safe even. He wasn't the type to tell her business all over school or talk about her in a way that made her feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. "Are you not ready for a girlfriend...or..." she said slowly, keeping her eyes down as she busied herself again with her bottle of juice. "...you know...just like snogging or something?" Her shy blue eyes slowly looked up at him again, curiosity playing behind them.

He was not angry at her and she smiled as he laughed, liking the way his dark eyes sparkled when he did. She couldn't help but laugh with him, and she shook her head. "I think Oliver would have tried to kill you if you had." She sat up eagerly when he said he wanted to play a game and she wiped her hands quickly together.

"Trust me? Close your eyes and open your mouth."

What?! "No!" she giggled. What kind of game was this? "What are you gonna do?" He promised it wasn't disgusting, and she hesitated for a moment, tightening her lips. "Fine," she finally agreed, deciding to trust him, "but if it is disgusting, I'm going to kill you in the Quidditch game on Saturday. A bludger right to the face, badger boy." She smiled sweetly at him, before closing her eyes and tentatively opening her mouth.

"No peeking!"

"I'm not!"

A moment later, something chewy, sweet and...

"Ugh!" Rosie's entire face scrunched, up as she opened her eyes, although one immediately squeezed shut again. "It's really sour," she managed through puckered lips, waiting for the sweet to kick back in. She chewed and thought, her eyes finally studying him. "A gummy worm," she said finally, a little smirk crossing her lips. Rosalie didn't eat sweets. Not because she didn't want to, but because her mother never let her have any. And as a force of habit, she knew to turn them down quickly and easily.

"I'm not supposed to have those," she lamented, looking back down at the candy box. "Ooh what's this one, you had? Lemon?" She popped it in her mouth, figuring the dam had already burst. Might as well dive into the deep rushing waters. She nodded. Yep, lemon.

"So," she said bringing her bottle of juice to her lips again, "are you coming to the Upper Year Party? I heard it's supposed to be really fun!"
« Last Edit: 22/01/2025 at 04:25 by Rosalie Laurence »
and burn me down
and i wanna feel that lightning strike me

* Nael Al-Azma

    (22/01/2025 at 20:51)
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Nael had no real issue with being the weird one. He had always been the weird one. The small one. The shy one. The scared one. The one who almost died in Charms. The one who got bullied. The serious one. The quiet one. And lately the unhinged, angry one.

Weird was the least of Nael's worries.

It did not bother him that people around him were in each other's faces, exchanging spit. Nael did not really see the appeal, although he had caught himself wondering what lips would taste like. What it would feel like. Still, it wasn't enough for him to go find someone to try it with.

"Are you not ready for a girlfriend...or....you know...just like snogging or something?"

Her blue eyes rose to meet his and Nael wasn't sure what to answer her. He had not really thought about these things. With everything that had been going on a girlfriend had been the last thing on his mind. What would he even do with one? What did one do with a girlfriend? Was it different from this now? Well, it involved snogging and other things...as Rosie had mentioned.

"Uhm...neither. Have you...snogged anyone, or..do you want to?" His eyes darted all over her face, not really able to keep the eye contact with her. Nael remembered Rosie saying that the kiss between Julia and Nabih at the wedding had been romantic. So she maybe knew more about this than him or had tried it before.

Thankfully she could not answer him right away, since she was chewing on the gummy worm he had fed her moments before. A smile spread on his face and finally he laughed seeing her face. It was the cutest sour face he had seen in a while.

"I'm not supposed to have those,"

"You're secret is safe with me," he said with a bright grin, watching her take another candy. "You gotta take advantage of me sharing my precious candy. I don't do that with just anyone, you know. Consider yourself special." Nael copied her and drank some of his juice and then finally took a bite of his sandwich.

"Hmm the party. I don't know," he shrugged while chewing. "Not really into Halloween to be honest. Are you going?" It would be his first Hogwarts Upper Year Party and while he was a little curious about it, parties weren't really his thing. And those older girls were a little scary, too. Maybe he would just stay in for this one.
Don't hold me up now
I can stand my own ground

I don't need your help now

You will let me down, down, down!

* Rosalie Laurence

    (26/01/2025 at 18:44)
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Rosalie flushed red at his question and immediately dropped her eyes to the sandwich in her lap. Unlike Nael, Rosie did take issue with being the weird one. The quiet one. The shy one. The goodie-goodie. The hard-ass with a whistle. The less-pretty one. The homeschooled one. All the names that people called her that made her feel even more insecure than she already was.

"No," she answered quietly, a little smile on her lips, "I haven't snogged anyone yet." Did she want to? If she did, would she tell Nael? She had told Cassian. "I do want to," she answered quickly, her eyes still on her sandwich as her fingers tore off little pieces of bread. "Steve caught me again when we were switching teams on the pitch for practice. He said I was pretty this time," she finally met Nael's eyes again, the flush in her cheeks having not yet dissipated. "But I don't know how to kiss anyway, other than what I've seen people do." She cleared her throat, and reached back to the candy bucket for another lemon drop.

Nael smiled at her as she popped the candy in her mouth again, and she grinned at him, the yellow little ball smiling at him between her teeth. She laughed, covering her mouth with her hand. "I feel very special," she said sucking on the little drop, telling herself she'd have to get some of these if they ever went to Honeydukes. Normally her favorite flavor was cherry anything, but she could get on board with lemon. Rosalie was branching out.

"I think I'm going," Rosalie nodded, "Eira wants to go, and Kate. And Cassian said he would go." She looked at him inquisitively and cocked her head, "Sorry, what do you mean you're not into Halloween? What's not to like? Fun costumes, candy, scary movies!" She pushed her hand gently against his shoulder to give him a playful nudge. "I'll even let you hold my hand if you get scared."


Wednesday, November 7, 1973
Noon

The two sat silently side by side, watching the quiet water of the lake ripple against the embankment. Rosalie's arm was curled around Nael's, her shoulder resting against the back of his and she held onto him tightly, letting her warmth invade his. Since Benji's accident, Nael had been spending all of his time in the Hospital Wing, and understandably so. He had been worried to death for the boy he called his little brother, and Rosie felt completely helpless. She had stayed away, at Julia's demand. Benji needed privacy, her cousin had said, and Nael as well.

Since Benji had woken up, Rosalie had been waiting for a moment to approach Nael. They hadn't spoken since the game, when they first took to their brooms, and she wanted so badly to make sure he was alright. The look on his face as he had held Benji - bloodied and lifeless in his arms - had shaken her terribly. She had finally caught him after Divination and asked him to walk with her down to the lake, just to sit for a few minutes before he rushed back to the Hospital Wing.

"How are you?" she finally asked, breaking the sad atmosphere that hung between the two. She turned her eyes to his as he stared forward and she searched for anything to say. "Do you want to talk about any of it?"
« Last Edit: 26/01/2025 at 23:32 by Rosalie Laurence »
they taped over your mouth
✧✦
scribbled out the truth with their lies

* Nael Al-Azma

    (27/01/2025 at 19:03)
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She had not kissed anyone but wanted to. That was surprising, but it also relieved Nael for some reason. If she had not kissed, she had no idea how to do it, just like he didn't. Herr cheeks were flushed and at first Nael thought she woud ask him if he wanted to try it, but then she mentioned something about Steve.

Nael had seen them that day during practise. Steve being his usual charming self, putting on that sweet smile the girls seemed to like so much. It also seemed to be working with Rosalie. "Doesn't he, like, say that to all the...I mean, you like Steve?" Nael had seen the Gryffindor with at least 2 other girls this term alone and now Rosalie seemed to be his newest target. Saying that would be petty though, and Nael did not want to embarrass Rosalie. Besides Steve did speak the truth. Rosie was indeed pretty.

She continued talking about the party and it sounded like she was making fun of him a little. Not in a mean way, but trying to convince him that he should come as well. "Rich coming from you. Do I have to remind you about Divi class in the forest? You about fainted, Blondie." Nael grinned at her, and nudged her back. "If it makes you happy, I'll come."



Wednesday November 7th, 1973
Noon

Now that Benji was awake again, some of the tension that Nael had felt was gone again. He'd spend every hour he could at his brother's side while he was asleep, and he did the same now that he was awake. At least now he knew that Benji would be alright. Maybe not as alright as he had been before, but close enough.

Rosie had asked him to sit with her at the lake and at first he had wanted to tell her no. He'd promised Benji he would come during his lunch break. The only reason he had agreed to this was that look in her bright blue eyes. She seemed concerned and although he was trying to keep his distance, he could not tell her no now.

They sat, so close together, with her arm linked in his and Nael stared out at the lake. He didn't know what to say to her, or to anyone really. He was being brave and strong, not letting anyone see just how much this incident had shook him. The truth was that Nael had almost lost the most important person in his life that day. For a moment he had actually thought he had, and it had opened the void inside of him so very wide that Nael did not even know how to close it anymore. He craved warmth - warmth of someone he could just be with, who knew him, whom he trusted with his life. He wanted to be held. Feel loved. Feel understood.

Only his mother had been that for him. And Benji.

"I'm okay, Rosie. He's awake now. It will be fine again." Nael did not look at her as he talked, but kept staring out at the lake. Did he want to talk about it? What was there to talk about? "Hmm, no. Maybe I...I should have been in the air...I came down to check...on...," Nael trailed off and finally looked at her. He'd come down to check on her only to see her squeezing herself next to Cassian. It had been stupid. After the party he had decided to back off a little, but seeing her hurt had overwritten his resolve. "I should have been up there."

Nael let go of her arm, and got up, avoiding eye contact. "I'm sorry, Rosie, but I gotta go. I promised Benji I'd come for lunch. The nurses drive him nuts and...I'll see you." The Hufflepuff grabbed his bag and hurried away, back to the castle. Back to the Wing. Before his next class started.



Saturday November 17th, 1973
About two hours before dinner

"No Steve, if you continue to play shitty I won't put you in the next game. I don't give a damn about who you want to impress with your flying skills." Nael left the Gryffindor standing in the Great Hall and walked out. Bloody Steve and his need to impress the girls. Who was it this time? Did he not have anything better to do?

Out of the corner of his eye he saw them. Blonde hair and a giggle and Cassian McCormick, running up the stairs. Nael had not spend real time with Rosie outside of classes at all. Benji was out of the wing, but ony had had half classes this week, so Nael had been busy getting him caught up with stuff. The younger badger complained about a constant headache and it was difficult to see him in pain still. Rosalie and her blonde hair disappeared from his view, and Nael turned towards the library. He still had a ton of homework to do.



Sunday November 25th, 1973
Early Breakfast

Benji was still sleeping and Nael decided to let him. Starting tomorrow his little brother had to attend all his classes again, and it was probably going to be tough. Of course Benji said he was fine, but Nael didn't believe him.

Nael sat down at the Hufflepuff table. He looked exhausted, but there was fresh coffee in his cup - another bad habit he had started to pick up. It was still early, and he had hardly slept. Last night had been a very late night, first the rooftops and then later the forest. Sleep had not wanted to come and when he'd finally returned to his dorm, all he had managed were two hours of horrible sleep. Maybe he'd managed a nap later. Maybe.

The scent of cherry blossoms came first, followed by a soft thud next to him. One glance to the side, and Nael looked at blonde hair and the bluest eyes and a soft smile. "Good morning Rosalie. You're up early for a Sunday." He'd seen her last night with Cassian. Nael had sat in a darker corner on the rooftops, and when he had heard them come up the stairs, he'd retreated even further into the darkness. That had not stopped him from hearing every word spoken though. "Did you..." No, he would not. "Pancakes?" He offered her instead with a faint smile. "They are filled with strawberry jam."

« Last Edit: 27/01/2025 at 19:21 by Nael Al-Azma »
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my
throne

* Rosalie Laurence

    (28/01/2025 at 02:03)
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"I'm okay, Rosie. He's awake now. It will be fine again."

He wouldn't look at her.

She didn't know why except that maybe he didn't want her to see how broken up he was over Benji. Boys were strange that way - never wanting anyone to see them sad or worried. Maybe they thought it made them look weak or they were afraid of what people would think. Nael had never seemed the type to care about that, but maybe he did in this instance. Maybe Rosie didn't understand how much Benji really meant to him.

"Hmm, no. Maybe I...I should have been in the air...I came down to check...on...,"

He finally looked at her, his sad dark eyes meeting her concerned blue. She cocked her head slightly, her expression urging him on. What had he been coming to check on? He had been at the Venom bench, not his own team's and -

"I should have been up there."

"Nael," she said softly, but he was pulling his arm away, looking away from her again, and he got to his feet quickly. What did she say? Had she done something wrong? Why wouldn't he talk to her? She was his friend.

"I'm sorry, Rosie, but I gotta go. I promised Benji I'd come for lunch. The nurses drive him nuts and...I'll see you."

"Yeah okay," she said, nodding and yet not understanding anything that was happening. He was gone, before she could even stand to tell him goodbye, and her eyes followed him as he rushed back to the castle. Her heart lurched, though she wasn't sure why and she turned back to the lake as she gathered her knees to her chest and watched the water quietly.


Friday November 16th, 1973
End of Divination

Normally, he sat by her, but for the past few weeks, Nael had been sitting alone, usually coming last to class and not sparing her more than a passing glance. Initially she'd tried to save him a seat every class, but after the first few times of walking past her, she'd stopped trying.

She still didn't know what she had done wrong, or why he seemingly didn't want to be her friend anymore. Julia had mentioned during their last Sunday walk that sometimes she and Professor Al-Azma didn't get along and went through periods of not speaking to each other. She had said he was sensitive sometimes, and she just had to give him space until he was ready to talk again. Was Nael like his dad in that way? Rosalie didn't like to think so, especially because nothing had happened that she had been aware of. She wasn't angry with Nael, they hadn't fought or even said a sort-of-mean word to one another.

When class was dismissed, she climbed down the ladder and waited for him at the bottom. Maybe they could talk on the way to their next class. She held her breath as he made his way down and as soon as his feet hit the floor their eyes met. She smiled at him, and he returned it quickly but then dropped his eyes from hers and hurried towards the stairs. Her smile faded as she watched him go and instead of confusion, hurt flooded her.

What was his problem?! Rosalie felt an arm drape lazily around her shoulders and her smile returned as Cassian's grin met her eyes. "Let's go then, Casanova," she giggled at him, forgetting the hurt feelings that had just surged through her.


Sunday November 25th, 1973
Early Breakfast

Rosalie yawned as she entered the Great Hall. She hadn't slept well after her night of adrenaline-chasing and she figured she may as well go for some pumpkin juice. She could paint her nails at the table and wait for her friends to wake up.

There weren't many people in here at this hour, but her eyes scanned the occupants quickly and her eyes fell on Nael, sitting alone with his breakfast. Perfect. Forget the nail painting.

She hurried to where he was seated and without invite, plopped herself down right next to him, her eyes never leaving him. He glanced at her, as she looked at him with a small, expectant smile plastered on her lips.

"Good morning Rosalie. You're up early for a Sunday."

"Couldn't sleep. I guess you couldn't either?" He offered her pancakes and she shook her head. Instead, she reached for the pitcher of pumpkin juice and poured herself a goblet-full. Her eyes fell on his cup of coffee as she set the pitcher back down and she raised an eyebrow but chose not to ask. He gave her a faint smile, but she was quite finished with whatever this was.

"Nael, why are we not friends anymore?" Straight and to the point. Rather direct for someone like Rosalie, but Julia had been encouraging her to be more outspoken and unafraid to share her thoughts. Her eyes softened into what could only be construed as sadness and she looked at him, waiting for an answer. "I don't know what I did to make you upset with me, but whatever it is, I'm sorry."


**Powerplays approved by all mentioned

what the hell
all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking

* Nael Al-Azma

    (28/01/2025 at 13:50)
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No pancakes for her then. She didn't know what she was missing really, but Nael was not in the mood to convince her once more that it was okay to indulge in the good food every once in a while. Nael was not big on food, but if he actually bothered to sit down for it, he could eat and ate just about anything that looked or smelled good. Like these pancakes. Nael stabbed it with fork and took a bite, while he watched her go for the juice.

She loved the pumpkin juice.

Nael caught her raising her eyebrow at his coffee, but she didn't say anything about it. He shrugged. It was true that he had not been able to really sleep but he also had to be up early. "Actually I'm up because I have to be in the library soon. Got to make up for all those afternoons I missed the past weeks. Turns out Jul..I mean Miss Laurence is serious about her punishments." While the librarian had not forced him away from Benji to serve his library organization detentions, she had not forgotten about them either. Sundays were usually a quiet day in the library, it being occupied by only those students who actually wished to be in there, so what better day to sort through books.

"Nael, why are we not friends anymore? I don't know what I did to make you upset with me, but whatever it is, I'm sorry."

At her words his eyes widened visibly and he stopped chewing for a moment. She looked sad, unlike all the other times she had looked at him. With a final swallow of the damn pancake, he shook his head and hurried to speak. "I'm not upset with you, Rosie. You didn't do anything and..we are still friends." At least he thought they were. Maybe not as close as they had been after summer camp, but still friends.

Dry. His mouth had gone a bit dry, and he picked up his cup to drink some of his coffee - lots of milk, no sugar. "It's just been a lot lately, you know. It's...I'm just not much fun to be around, unlike, you know, others. Didn't want to drag you down." In a way that was just as true as him keeping his distance because he didn't want to deal with the emotions that came with seeing her and Cassian. He really wasn't fun to be around when he was constantly in his head, thinking, contemplating, worrying. Rosalie had probably already noticed that in school he was not the same boy as he had been at summer camp. Not even close. Unlike her, who seemed to thrive even more ever since coming to Hogwarts.

"I'm sorry I've been distant." Last night came back into his mind. I also want you to know how much you mean to me. You're the air I breathe...--Not to worry, Casanova Right. His eyes fell away from her and on his plate with the unfinished pancake. It was fine actually. The last few weeks had shifted his focus a little, so maybe spending time with Rosie wasn't such a bad idea again. "We could meet for lunch at the lake later? Or do you want to come help me out in the library?" Nael glanced back at her and picked up another piece of pancake to put it in his mouth. Some of the jam dripped down his chin without him noticing. "Are you sure you don't want some? They are really good."
Not acid nor alkaline
Caught between black and white
Not quite either day or night
Perfectly misaligned

* Rosalie Laurence

    (28/01/2025 at 15:48)
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She sipped her juice as he dug into his pancakes again. He had library duty this morning, and for a moment she pitied him. Julia couldn't even give him a break on the weekends. "Yes she is," she said quietly, setting the goblet down again and she propped her elbow up on the table, resting her cheek against her hand.

They were still friends. Were they though? Because he had essentially avoided her like she carried something contagious that he didn't want to catch. She was quiet, watching him as he took a drink of his coffee - seriously, was that a thing he always did? She didn't remember him ever drinking coffee at camp. Maybe he started after Benji's accident or something.

"It's just been a lot lately, you know. It's...I'm just not much fun to be around, unlike, you know, others. Didn't want to drag you down."

Her eyes narrowed slightly as she tried to understand and she shook her head, as she dropped her arm back to her goblet and sat back up. Fun like who? She didn't compare her friends. "I know it's been a lot," she said, and she pursed her lips, dropping her eyes to his plate. He really liked those pancakes. "But I don't care if you're fun or not. I just wanted to be there for you. Benji looked so bad and - "

"I'm sorry I've been distant."

Right. He dropped his eyes from her, but it still didn't answer her question. She shifted awkwardly on the bench and pushed her hair back over her head and away from her face as she brought the goblet to her lips again. Her eyes moved across the early breakfast crowd, not really looking at anyone or anything.

Correct in his assessment, Rosie had noticed the vast difference in the sweet boy she had made friends with at summer camp , and the moody boy who essentially ignored her here at school. He hadn't at first - everything seemed to change rapidly after the Halloween party. It was her fault - it had to be. She had to have said something or done something and he just didn't want to tell her. Was it all the snogging talk they had done? Was it because she hardly interacted with him at Quidditch?

Was it the Halloween party...? Rosie thought back to that night. She had convinced him to go and then he'd gotten stuck with that David Bowie girl while she and Cassian danced and had a great time. Her face visibly changed as the realization came over her. That had to be it. That was why he was angry. Because she had convinced him to go.

"We could meet for lunch at the lake later? Or do you want to come help me out in the library?"

"I can come help sort books," she said quietly with a slight nod, her eyes now locked on his and she felt a strange uncomfortable flush of something run through her. She was in the library as often as Julia was now, and she could sort with the best of them. Nael took another bite and offered her pancakes again as jam ran down his chin.

Without thinking, Rosalie leaned forward, and brought her hand up to his face to wipe it away gently with her thumb. His skin was soft and smooth, her paler color looking pretty against his tan. "You have - " she pulled back and reached for a napkin, wiping her hand quickly. She gave a strained smile, and took another sip from her goblet.


Later, in the Library

"I loaded the cart with all the returns. We have a few Restricted Section books to do. Julia said she unlocked the gate for us, and she gave us the logbook," Rosalie said, pushing the cart towards Nael as he set his stuff down behind the check-out counter. She had gone ahead of him to get things started and make it easier for them to just get to work. "We just have to check-off the books in the RS log once we've put them away."

She walked quietly alongside him until they came to the gate, and she held up her wand. A bauble swooped down at her, obviously curious if she was doing something she shouldn't, and seeing nothing untoward, it jingled and floated off again. Rosie shook her head and pulled the gate open, letting Nael go in first with the cart.

"So," she said once they were finally alone and out of earshot of others. She pulled the front of the cart as he pushed the back and she looked over her shoulder at him. "What do you mean 'not as fun as others'? Who do you mean?" She wanted him to tell her so she could reassure him that her friendship with him didn't have to compare or look the same as her friendship with anyone else. She picked up the enormous heavy logbook and flipped through it as they walked. "The first book should go just up this way," she murmured, looking over the cart for 'Life Beyond Death: The Art of the Horcrux'.

She wrinkled her nose and looked back at the log. What did Professor Proud want with Horcruxes?
what the hell
all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking

* Nael Al-Azma

    (29/01/2025 at 21:57)
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She had wanted to be there for him. It was just that there had not been anything for her to do. Maybe last year he would have cried his eyes out at some point, on her shoulder perhaps. But now? Nael could not sit together with her and talk about how he felt. What difference did it make? With Benji he either screamed it out at some point, because his little brother pushed him there or there was just silent understanding between them. No need to explain everything in detail. It was different with Rosalie.

So they would sort some books together in a little bit and Nael was not unhappy about this. Her help would mean that it would take less time and they could catch up a little. She didn't seem all that comfortable at the moment, so Nael briefly wondered if she had only agreed to not offend him. She surely had better things to do and she was in the library almost as much as he was.

She leaned closer suddenly and the next thing he felt was her touching his face, wiping something away. The sudden proximity made his eyes widen and his head moved back almost automatically. Her thumb was red with some strawberry jam and Nael felt his cheeks heating up. "Uhm..thanks," he muttered barely audible seeing her seemingly forced smile. Maybe sorting books was a bad idea.



Later, in the library

Nael put away his bag behind the counter and nodded. Miss Laurence was in her office already and he gave her a small smile in greeting. They better got started. That return cart looked packed and if they had to do the RS too, things would take a while. "Ok, let's go do that first then," he said and pushed the cart towards the Restricted Section.

The gate opened as promised and in they went, Rosie at the front of the cart and him pushing it along. It was so very quiet in this part of the library. There were no study tables as there were in the main library and with the arrival of Miss Laurence as librarian access to this section really was very restricted.

"What do you mean 'not as fun as others'? Who do you mean?"

Nael was just looking over the cart, wondering why Miss Laurence didn't use magic to just make all the books float into their rightful places. It was much easier than having to do it manually. Nael glanced up at Rosie, who was just looking over her shoulder, picking up the conversation from earlier.

Just why? They could talk about anything else really.

"Everyone you're friends with," he said as casually as he could. Rosalie liked to smile and laugh. She liked to do fun things, like singing along to her music, making herself look even prettier than she naturally was, laughing with the girls, and apparently jumping off the castle roof on a broom with Cassian McCormick pressed into her back.

He came up to her side, looking over her shoulder into the thick logbook and then at the cart. "There it is." Nael picked up the book and checked the shelf number. "Top shelf." There was a ladder, but Nael just took out his wand and cast a silent levitation spell on the book. It floated up and Nael directed it its place on the shelf. "And returned." Rosie could check it off. "Proud and Horcruxes. I knew something was off with her." He gave Rosie a wink and perhaps the biggest smile in weeks.

Nael picked up the next book on the pile. Clearly it belonged somewhere here as well. "From Inferi to Banshees: Necromancy in Theory and Practice" Nael read to Rosie, so she could find it in the logs and checked the code for the right shelf. They had to push the cart another aisle over, but then stopped again. "Found it? Now who's practicing Necromancy? Bet it's Amberghast. Either one of them." Up it floated on the right shelf.

"Next one is Elixirs of Eternal Torment. Potion section is over there, right?" Nael pushed the cart towards the next large shelf and glanced at Rosie. "Is Julia taking you home to your parents for Christmas?" Surely she would have to go home, if she wanted to or not. Nael actually wouldn't mind staying at the castle this year, but Nabih had already told him they would go home to London. The only good part about this was that Benji was going to come. "Is there something specific you wished for this year? Something you really want to get?"

Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my
throne

* Rosalie Laurence

    (31/01/2025 at 16:53)
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Everyone she was friends with? Rosalie tried to hide the irritation on her face as she chewed at the inside of her bottom lip, and finally looked away from him. So he wasn't going to say who or what he meant. If she were a more persistent person or someone who didn't mind confrontation, she may have pushed Nael harder to tell her what was really on his mind. But she wasn't so she didn't.

He moved closer, looking over her shoulder at the logbook and quickly found the book. A quick levitation and her eyes followed the book to its spot. She scribbled lightly into the log and tossed it back down onto the cart as they moved further down the aisle.

"Proud and Horcruxes. I knew something was off with her."

He smiled widely at her and winked, and she couldn't help but feel a smaller smile crease her own lips. "She's only seven-hundred years old, Nael. What would she need with Horcruxes? She's in her prime." There it was, the tiniest glimmer of the cute boy from summer camp. Rosalie watched his pretty dark eyes from behind those long eyelashes, and a part of her felt annoyed by the sudden way he swung so quickly.

How did he do that, honestly? Go from ignoring and avoiding her, to brushing off her feelings to suddenly acting like nothing had happened at all? Maybe it was because she 'wore her heart on her sleeve', as her mum always said, but it felt mean and taunting in a way. Like he knew she was feeling sad and strange about the way things had been between them and it meant nothing to him. Rosalie dropped her eyes from his, instead choosing to focus on the books.

"From Inferi to Banshees: Necromancy in Theory and Practice"

Rosie, scoured the log briefly and jotted down the return. "Seventh year Hufflepuff actually," she muttered distractedly, "Hmm. I knew I suspected something off about you lot." She didn't look at him as she signed her name next to the return box, but she glanced back at the books. "Next?"

Nael pushed the cart towards the potions section as Rosie pulled again, and she gave a little nod. "Yeah, she'll drop me at my family's flat in London before she heads back to West Sussex. And then my parents and I will go down to our little cottage on the estate a few days after. It'll be nice to see my cousins. I always saw them when I was homeschooled, so this has been a big change." She missed Thomas and Matthew now that she was thinking of them. They were the closest thing she had to siblings. Her father and theirs were brothers and especially close, so the families usually had dinner together once a week if not twice.

She nodded her head indicating he should go right. "Not really, no. That I can think of anyway. Julia says I should ask for a new broom for Quidditch since mine is all beat up and worn-in, but I like it, you know? I don't need a new one."

She finally caught his eye again, "What about you? What are you and your dad doing for Christmas? Are you going to Syria?"
they taped over your mouth
✧✦
scribbled out the truth with their lies

* Nael Al-Azma

    (01/02/2025 at 02:39)
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Nael was relieved that she didn't continue to ask him about this. They could just move on and get these books sorted. Again he had the feeling that maybe this had not been the best idea. While she did return his smile, albeit smaller, and did make fun of Proud, it all felt incredibly strange. Nael did not really notice her irritation or annoyance with how he dealt with the whole thing. All he noticed was her being awkward, keeping her eyes on the logbook.

She didn't even look at him as she answered his question about her christmas break and it confused him more and more. She had sat down with him at breakfast today, clearly trying to engage with him, and now that he was actually trying as well, she pulled back like she changed her mind. Maybe he was too late, or he had said something wrong. Nael didn't really understand why things were so stiff now, when they had not been before. Last night had just told him that he had been right to pull away from her a little. She clearly wanted to be around someone fun and romantic as Cassian. Someone who knew what to say and how to charm a girl.

"That sounds nice. You'll get a break from the castle craziness," is all he said before making the next book float to its rightful place. There were a few more books left that had to be sorted into this section. Potions seemed to be popular. Nael picked up three at once, showed Rosie the titles and once she nodded to indicate that she had found the entry, he send them floating.

"Not really, no. That I can think of anyway. Julia says I should ask for a new broom for Quidditch since mine is all beat up and worn-in, but I like it, you know? I don't need a new one."

A new broom sounded like a solid wish, but he nodded in understanding. Sometimes when you knew all the little ticks of a broom and how to bend and push it just the way you needed it, it was hard to give it up for a new one. Nael had flown one particular school broom for almost three years and now that he finally had his own this term, it had taken some getting used to. "The newest models are all really fast. It's fun to fly them, really. But I understand you."

"What about you? What are you and your dad doing for Christmas? Are you going to Syria?"

Finally she looked up from that bloody logbook, but Nael couldn't really tell if she was actually curious or this conversation was just something she felt like she needed to do now. "No, we are not. We'll just stay home in London. Christmas is not really that big a thing. Benji is staying with us this time though, so I hope we get to have some fun." For Nael Christmas actually was a big thing, until last year. Now he dreaded it a little, although the prospect of Benji being there made it a little less so.

"Alright, lets get a move on." He wanted this cart to be empty as soon as possible. He had plans to go down to the Menagerie after this and then check on Benji. He pushed the cart and they continued their work - mostly in silence.



Sunday December 9th, 1973
The Quidditch Pitch
9am

The cold air was burning in his lungs and his face felt numb by now. The warming charms in place kept his body from freezing up on his broom as he whizzed through the sky at neckbreaking speed. There was a bat in his hand and he had released not one but both bludgers from the training box, chasing them as much as they chased him.

Nael was tired, a night without sleep behind him, but all he felt was rage inside. Rage that needed to come out and what better way than to smack bludgers around where nobody could get hurt. He didn't know what else to do really. There was no one to talk to about this stuff. Eventually he would tell Benji, but his brother was not doing as well as he wanted everyone to believe. Maybe over Christmas break he would tell him about the letter.

The familiar sound of one of the iron balls was coming closer and Nael gripped the bat tighter, swung it and smacked the bludger away, towards the ground. The second one was more sneaky, surprising him from behind and Nael just let himself fall off the side of his broom, flying upside down and letting the bludger pass. He saw someone down on the pitch, walking through the thick snow, but didn't pay them any mind. Instead he swung himself back up on his broom and sped after the bludger that had almost knocked him off.

Catching up was easy. His broom reacted to the smallest commands and Nael sped up quick, the bludger just ahead. With another loud whack, the iron ball changed direction again and shot off to the left. A loud shout reached his ears just then and the 14 year old brought his broom into a dive. Upon coming closer to the ground, he recognized the intruder to his practise.

Rosalie Laurence.

Fuck.
« Last Edit: 02/02/2025 at 00:00 by Nael Al-Azma »
It's a different kind of pain
when your heart cries but your eyes don't.

* Rosalie Laurence

    (01/02/2025 at 18:52)
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"That sounds nice. You'll get a break from the castle craziness,"

Rosalie didn't react but this confused her. She'd never said she needed a break from the castle - if anything she needed an even longer break from her home. She loved her parents and family, so much, but it could all be very stifling. Here at the castle, even with Julia keeping an eye on her, Rosie had never felt more free and independent in her life. What did he mean? A break from what? Who?

She didn't ask. He wouldn't answer anyway.

The small talk about Christmas continued. Rosie didn't mind it, really. It was better than awkward silence, but if this continued much longer, she wouldn't be able to wait until she could get out of here. She had wanted to help him, but now that they were here and things were weird again, she'd much rather be off studying or in the common room by herself. "Well...maybe I can try your broom after Christmas break?" she asked, attempting to keep the conversation going. It didn't matter much if he let her or didn't.

"No, we are not. We'll just stay home in London. Christmas is not really that big a thing. Benji is staying with us this time though, so I hope we get to have some fun."

Rosie raised her eyes and managed a small, genuine smile. "That'll be nice for Benji. I'm sure he'll definitely add to the fun. You both deserve it after this past month." She dropped her eyes again to the log as Nael pushed them on, and she finally let the conversation teeter off into silence.



Sunday December 9th, 1973
The Quidditch Pitch
9am

They were going home soon, and Rosalie didn't want to continue this strange dynamic that had somehow developed between her and Nael. Overnight it seemed they had gone from being easy friends who loved the same music and laughed over everything together to not even speaking most days. She missed him, but she didn't know how to be friends with him when he was like this.

She had a Christmas present for him, and considering everyone was packing up to go home, she had to get it to him before he accidentally or purposefully left without saying goodbye. She'd looked everywhere for him for the better part of an hour, even waiting outside the common room before someone had mentioned they saw Nael heading for the pitch.

It was freezing out, a layer of thick snow covering the ground, and Rosie trudged through it quickly, her long coat reaching to her boots. Her mouth and nose were coiled up in her green scarf and her small black bag hung around her shoulder, carrying Nael's small gift. As she stepped onto the pitch, she looked up, watching him soar back and forth through the air, the crack of wood against iron echoing throughout the stadium.

She waited, not wanting to interrupt him, hoping he'd notice her on his own. She exhaled, shivering in the cold, watching the warmth of her breath leave her lips in a soft cloud. She looked away for a moment as another crack shot through the air and the familiar sound of iron whipping through the air met her ears. Her eyes snapped back, just in time to see one his bludgers mere feet from her head.

"What the hell?!" she shouted as she dove out of the way, sprawling herself into the ground as the bludger just skimmed over. "Oooooh," she shrieked to herself, the icy chill of the snow now penetrating the fabric of her coat and jeans. She shivered, pulling herself up to her knees and then finally her feet, wiping the snow from her clothing as Nael dove towards her.

She glanced up at him as he came eye level and she rose her eyebrow at him, "Not quite the hello I was hoping for." She stooped down and grabbed her bag, pulling it back over her shoulder. She looked at him for a moment, not sure what to say. "Um," she started, "Sorry to interrupt." She swayed on her heels for a moment twisted her fingers together.

"Your swing is really good! I'm surprised you don't play Beater more often." She gave him a small smile and looked behind her before finally sighing, "Do you have a minute?"
« Last Edit: 02/02/2025 at 16:15 by Rosalie Laurence »
they taped over your mouth
✧✦
scribbled out the truth with their lies

* Nael Al-Azma

    (02/02/2025 at 13:53)
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"Not quite the hello I was hoping for."

Confusion crossed Nael's facial features for a moment, before he realized she meant the bludger that had made her dive into the snow. That had not been on purpose at all. Heck, he had not even known it was her, and the bludger had been smacked before he had seen a person down there. It was the Quidditch pitch. People had to know that sometimes people actually practised here. "I didn't even see you. I would never...," The sentence died on his lips, looking into her blue eyes as he hovered on his broom in front of her.

The bludger that had come for her was still zipping across the pitch near the ground and apparently wanted another try at hitting Rosie. As it came hurling towards both of them, Nael gripped his bat tighter, intercepted the iron ball in his path and smacked it hard and high into the air. This would give them a few minutes before one of them came looking for them again.

The 14 year old landed next to Rosie, brushing off some of the snow flurries from his Quidditch gear. "I will next game," he said, taking her compliment without much of a reaction. What had happened last game wasn't going to happen again, and Nael had put his foot down to play beater. He was all for switching everyone around, have them all practise different positions, but he would swing that bat next game.

Noticing her look over her own shoulder, Nael's brows furrowed. Maybe she didn't want to be seen with him out here. Things had just become worse between them after the library sorting day. The silence had grown and hearing that she had sucked Cassian's face in the greenhouse had not helped matters. So much for not being ready for it all. She clearly was and he wasn't going to be in her way. It just made being her friend so much harder again. It was annoying that he couldn't be without feeling that nagging sense of jealousy inside of him. Was it even jealousy? And why? He liked her, he found her pretty, he loved when she laughed and smiled with him, and the way she popped that gum she liked to chew. The way she moved and sang to the music they both liked. But that was it. He didn't want to kiss her. Now even less so, knowing Cassian's spit was all over her lips already.

"Do you have a minute?"

Obviously.

He had stopped his practise, landed and stood in front of her like an idiot.

"Sure. What's up?"
Every wound will shape me
Every scar will build my
throne

* Rosalie Laurence

    (02/02/2025 at 16:09)
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"I didn't think you did it on purpose," she said slowly, her eyebrows coming down over her eyes and she shook her head. Honestly, why was this so hard? There was something that felt heavy in her chest - that same sadness she'd been feeling for the past month and half whenever she'd talked to Nael. Or tried to, anyway. That seemed to be much harder these days for some reason.

The sound of cutting air met her ears again, but this time she didn't move, knowing Nael would have it. She really needed to start carrying a bat with her when she walked out here. At the last minute, Nael jumped in front of it, slamming his bat hard against it and sending it flying in the opposite direction.

"I will next game,"

She stared at him for a moment, and then dropped the subject immediately. It was obvious he didn't want to talk to her by the simple, short answers he kept giving her. He landed in front of her, brushing the snow from his gear. She looked down at the ground and swallowed hard. He had a minute to talk after all. They were alone. She'd try one more time to get him to tell her what she had done wrong before she gave him his gift.

"The Halloween party," she started, keeping her eyes on the ground. "I didn't know it was going to be like that, Nael. I wanted to hang out with you. That's why I asked you to come with us." The party was when everything had started to change. Initially she hadn't recognized it because Benji's accident had happened just a couple of days later, and that week felt like a blur. But thinking back to every interaction they'd had, it was the only thing she could pinpoint.

She looked up at him for a moment, but feeling strange, she looked off to the side, opening her mouth to speak and then closing it again. She hummed a bit, her hands still twisting together as she thought. "If that's not why things have been really weird between us, then I wish you would just tell me." She swayed a little and thought carefully, remembering how Julia kept encouraging her to speak her mind and to not be afraid to share what she felt.

She wasn't great at this friendship thing, having never really done it before. Boys were complicated, especially because they never told you how they felt. Or, if they did, it was all in a grandiose sarcastic way that wasn't believable anyway. "You said at breakfast that day that you weren't upset with me, but then things never got any better. It's getting weirder, right?" She cocked her head a little at him, and sighed.

"If we're friends, then friends share, like we used to. We don't share anything. I miss how it was..." she trailed off, deciding not to bring up camp. She shrugged, looking at him.

She'd talked enough. It was his turn.
« Last Edit: 02/02/2025 at 16:13 by Rosalie Laurence »
what the hell
all my life i've been good but now i'm thinking

* Nael Al-Azma

    (03/02/2025 at 01:26)
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In a few days they would all go home. Most of them anyway, and enjoy their break away from the castle. Nael wasn't so sure if he was going to enjoy it at all, but at least Benji was going to be there with him. There was a lot of things he had to tell his little brother. Things that he had kept to himself because Benji wasn't doing all that great. He saw him pretend, but Nael knew his best friend's tells. Hopefully at home, in their room, unless Nabih decided for Benji to sleep in the guest room, things would be calm enough and they could talk like they used to.

Rosie would go home too. She'd told him about it. Now she was looking at her feet and Nael was wondering why she had come out here. Obviously she had been looking for him, but now she seemed hesitant. Finally she started talking and he had to stop himself from groan when he realized what she was going on about.

The damn party and whatever she thought she had done wrong. He'd already told her that she hadn't done anything wrong. At least not back then. Now, she'd kissed Cassian and he was probably her boyfriend or something. Still not something she was doing wrong really, but definitely something that bothered Nael.

"I know you didn't know it was going to be some handcuffs party. Look, I already told you, you didn't do anything wrong or anything that upset me. I just didn't like the bloody party. That's all. Not your fault." She wanted him to tell her why it was weird, and Nael just stared at her for a moment. He'd just needed some time to process after the party and then the game happened and then almost a month had gone by without them really talking.

"I tried in the library after breakfast. You were acting like you didn't even want to be there." He didn't want to accuse her of anything, but he still did not know why things had gone so wrong that day. She'd offered her help and then shut him out completely. The silence had been more painful than anything.

"If we're friends, then friends share, like we used to. We don't share anything. I miss how it was..."

No, they didn't share anything now and maybe it was better that way. She could share with Cassian. It's what she wanted anyway. Nael sighed and stared on the snow covered floor. He missed her too, the lightness between them, the smiles and giggles. Everything had just vanished like that and Nael wasn't even sure why. "I miss it too." His voice got quiet now, and when he raised his head to look at her, there was sadness in his eyes. "I wish you would have told me that you like Cassian. I mean, we talked about boyfriends and stuff and you said you weren't ready yet and I believed you. But I've seen you two together. I heard what he says to you. I know you two snogged. You didn't share anything. So why do you expect me to?"
Don't hold me up now
I can stand my own ground

I don't need your help now

You will let me down, down, down!

* Rosalie Laurence

    (04/02/2025 at 16:15)
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Not her fault. He'd said that before, but then still treated her like she had done something wrong. Like, he got that, right? Or maybe he didn't because the way he was talking had her feeling that maybe he didn't even realize he was doing it. When she'd saved him seats in Divination and he walked right past her - it made no sense if he truly felt like she hadn't done anything wrong.

"I tried in the library after breakfast. You were acting like you didn't even want to be there."

"You did not try!" Rosalie suddenly argued, pointing her finger at him, irritated by him throwing this back on her, when she was the one who had kept approaching him, asking him questions, trying to get him to talk. It wasn't Nael chasing Rosalie all over the goddamn school to ask why they weren't friends. "In the library I asked again," she said, bringing her hand to her chest, "what you meant about my friends and you not being fun and you completely shut me down."

What was she supposed to do? Continue trying with a boy who obviously didn't want to talk to her? Allow him to keep rejecting her and keep hurting her feelings when all she ever wanted to be was close to him? Had she misjudged him in her excitement for a new friend who shared all the same interests she did? What had she done wrong? Had she come on too strong? Was it the way she carried herself? Did she touch him too much? Talk too much? Was it just her?

The insecurity she'd started to feel around Nael for the past month suddenly took a strong hold on her again, even as he said he missed her too. She didn't believe him. She couldn't. How could he say he missed her when it was him pushing her away?

He looked at her again and there was sadness in his dark eyes that she mirrored wholeheartedly, though why he felt sad she didn't understand. Until...

"I wish you would have told me that you like Cassian."

Rosalie's expression immediately changed. Her eyebrows raised slightly and her lips parted with slightly widening eyes and she dropped her gaze to the ground again. He wished she'd said something about Cassian. Rosalie's mind went blank as the rest of his words fell on her.

"I mean, we talked about boyfriends and stuff and you said you weren't ready yet and I believed you. But I've seen you two together. I heard what he says to you. I know you two snogged. You didn't share anything. So why do you expect me to?"

"He - he's not my boyfriend, Nael," she said quietly, trying her hardest to look at him, the blood rushing to her head causing her cheeks to turn pink. It was strange how when she got nervous like this she almost saw little spots in front of her eyes and her hands got that weird tingly feeling like when they fell asleep. It was inevitable that people would find out about her and Cassian snogging after Charly had caught them in the greenhouse. Discretion was not what the girl was known for. She took a deep breath.

"He's not my boyfriend," she said more firmly, forcing her eyes to his, "I told you I wasn't ready for a boyfriend because I'm not. Cassian is my friend....and....we kiss sometimes." He kissed other girls sometimes too. It was very clear they were not together. She shrugged her shoulders, not knowing why they were talking about all of this. Why did Nael care if she kissed Cassian or anyone else for that matter? "I told you I wanted to kiss someone. I didn't lie to you."

He said he'd seen them together, and that he'd heard what Cassian had said to her. "What did you hear?" she asked, confusion crossing her features. Her brow furrowed and her lips pressed together as she shifted her weight, watching him carefully with questioning eyes. She was suddenly very aware that she was missing something here - that Nael was privy to something that she didn't know about. She and Cassian were flirtatious as they had always been. This wasn't new to Nael, and she couldn't place what he would have heard Cassian say that was any different from the normal banter they had around others.

"How can I share anything with you, Nael, when every time I try to approach you, you act like I'm bothering you? Or that you can't stand me?" her tone was quiet but she immediately stopped and almost took a step back, "Wait, why does this matter to you anyway? Cassian I mean?"
« Last Edit: 04/02/2025 at 17:30 by Rosalie Laurence »
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* Nael Al-Azma

    (06/02/2025 at 20:35)
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They would have to agree to disagree on that one. He had tried in the library and it had been her to shut him down with silence and strained looks. Nael had not wanted to talk about her other friends that day. To him it had been obvious what he meant. While worrying sick about his brother, he had not been fun to be around. What was there to elaborate on, really? It was like she wanted him to say that he thought she was spending too much time with a certain Ravenclaw. It was none of his business.

"He - he's not my boyfriend, Nael,"

Right. That was her first response and it said a lot. The color of her face changed and Nael felt bad immediately for making her feel embarrassed about this. It had not been his intention to do so. She had asked and he could not hold it in anymore. He really wished she would have told him. Instead she expected them to be the way they always were. Friends. Yes, Nael wanted to be her friend, but then why would she not talk to him about this?

So Cassian was her friend and they sometimes kissed. It had not sounded like that on the rooftop if he was honest. It had sounded a lot more serious, even if he knew Cassian liked to be more dramatic. "I never accused you of lying," he muttered. "I just thought you'd tell me if you actually did kiss someone," he added just as quietly and stared down at the snow again. He had not really given her the chance to do that, though, had he? It had been easier to avoid the whole thing, because he didn't want to feel anything. He didn't want to be weak and vulnerable. In the end it was his fault, and not hers.

"What did you hear?"

It had been a mistake to tell her that he heard how Cassian talked to her. That he knew she called him Casanova. Well, technically she didn't know, he knew. "I...," he swallowed, not sure if he should really tell her that he had been there that night. Observing quietly without letting them know he was there. Maybe she would be upset with him for it. "I mean, I was on the rooftop when you two jumped from there. A little bit away, but, I heard you." This time it was him, whose cheeks started to burn with embarrassment. He had never wanted to admit this to her, but now he had.

"You're not bothering me. And...," Nael glanced up at her, nervous now and unsure where this talk was going to lead them. He took off his gloves and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "I'm sorry Rosie. I truly am. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this. It's just...confusing, and I get lost in my head sometimes." Talking too much. Sharing too much. Nael fell silent again, hearing one of the bludgers returning for another strike attempt.

"Wait, why does this matter to you anyway? Cassian I mean?"

They had about 30 seconds, Nael guessed. 30 seconds to answer her question before one or even both bludgers would find them and tried to kill them. "You're my friend. I just..don't want you to get hurt." Even to him it sounded stupid, especially since he had done exactly that to her himself. Nael gripped his bat a bit tighter, the nearing bludger louder now. He stepped from one foot on the other, locking eyes with Rosalie for the first time without hesitation. "I'd hoped you'd give me your first kiss. When I saw you at the party with Cass, I knew..., you know."

The bludger was there and Nael swung his bat, smacking it back into the air where it collided with the second bludger that was shooting down towards them. Both balls sprung away into different directions, for Nael to find later. "It's stupid, but..now you know." It didn't make things any less confusion. Not for him, but also not for her. "I'm gonna get back to practise, kay?" His face needed some cooling down.
Every wound will shape me
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