Us and Them | Nael

[Rosalie Laurence]

Silence fell between them and she bit the inside of her bottom lip, crossing her arms in front of her chest defensively. It was obvious they had very different opinions about how the conversation in the library went. Rosalie had just wanted to get to the bottom of everything - it was obvious to her it was more than Benji, but even now Nael didn't want to discuss it.

Boys. Whatever.

She sighed and didn't answer when he said he'd thought she'd tell him that she'd had her first kiss. She didn't know how she was supposed to tell him when he ran away every time he saw her. She'd wanted to tell him - only him - because she knew he'd keep the secret. The library was her opportunity, considering it was the morning after, but things had been so strange between them that she never really saw a good opportunity to bring it up.

He was stuttering, looking for words it seemed, and she waited quietly for the explanation. Her eyes grew slightly wider when he'd said he'd been on the rooftops the night she and Cassian jumped. He'd overheard their banter and back and forth. Cassian's bullshit attempt at a romantic monologue to keep her from launching them both off the edge. A tight smile rose on her lips and she suddenly realized what was happening.

Nael liked her. Like....liked her, liked her. Everything was starting to make sense.

"You know Cass," she said quietly, "He's dramatic and over the top, but...he doesn't mean any of it Nael. I'm not the 'air he breathes'." Her smile grew wider and she rolled her eyes a little. "He says stuff like that to all the girls. He said it to me because he was trying to keep me from jumping us off the roof." She let out a little laugh and shrugged her shoulders. She wasn't telling him this to discount his feelings, only to show him that it wasn't quite as serious as he might have thought.

"You're not bothering me. And...,"

She watched as he brushed his hand through his hair and her eyes followed his every movement. He was sort of cute when he was like this. She'd wished she'd known sooner. She wished she'd just told him so he wouldn't have to feel so awkward or bad about everything.

"I'm sorry Rosie. I truly am. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings like this. It's just...confusing, and I get lost in my head sometimes."

"It's okay," she said quietly, and she meant it. She nodded and hugged her arms around herself a little tighter. "I get it, you know. You've been through a lot in the past month, and I just wanted...I mean I get now why you didn't want to." She looked at him, noticing he still wouldn't hold eye contact with her and she smiled giving a little tilt of her head.

She could hear the scream of the bludgers approaching again and she glanced around him, seeing them en route. The beauty in being a seasoned Quidditch player was that bludgers weren't the terrifying thing they were to everyone else. After the first several hits, you got used to them and learned to dodge them or hit them away.

"You're my friend. I just..don't want you to get hurt."

He was concerned about her. She dropped her eyes to the ground, not quite sure what he meant by getting hurt. More hurt than she was when Nael had effectively dropped her? Cassian liked other girls. Rosalie was very well aware of this - it wasn't something he made a secret of and bragged openly about. But it meant that Rosie could also like other boys and it wasn't really a problem. They weren't anything more than friends, so she didn't really see the point in fussing about what he did.

Cassian could do whatever he wanted, and he wasn't doing anything wrong. She didn't see how that would hurt her if she already knew.

"I'd hoped you'd give me your first kiss. When I saw you at the party with Cass, I knew..., you know."

Her bright blue eyes snapped immediately up to his pretty dark brown, hidden by those long eyelashes. "Oh," she said quietly. He'd wanted to give Rosie her first kiss. She didn't know that - he'd said he wasn't ready for kissing or anything like that. And the party - she was right. She thought for a moment, her eyes searching his, not sure what to do with this information or how to respond. Did he still want to kiss her now?

The bludger flew at them and Nael turned, slamming his bat against it, sending it flying into the second one. The crack startled her out of her thoughts and she took a step towards him. If that would make everything better, then she'd kiss him. Right here, right now. She'd never said she didn't like him in that way too. She liked Cassian, a lot. But she also liked Nael. He had just never reciprocated - until now.

He turned back to her and she took another step forward, revving up her courage to do it. And just as she was about to, he spoke again.

"It's stupid, but..now you know."

"What - no it's not stupid..." she started to say.

"I'm gonna get back to practise, kay?"

Her face fell and she swallowed as she nodded taking a step back from him again. "Okay," she answered quietly and fumbled for her purse. "Um, before you go though, I have a present for you," she mumbled so quietly she doubted he'd be able to understand what she was saying. She unlatched the bag and reached in for a small box that held two cassette tapes. One was a mixed tape with all of their shared favorite songs. On the front of it she'd written:

★ N + R ♥

The other was the brand new Lynyrd Skynyrd debut album that had just released in September. She'd bought it for him right before school started so she'd have it for him when Christmas came. She held it out him, sadness taking over her features again. "Happy Christmas, Nael." Without waiting for him to open it or letting him say anything else, she turned and hurried off the pitch as fast as she could.

Saturday, February 23, 1974
After Dinner
The Lake
FollowingThis

Rosalie watched the figure of Nael approaching her as she stood in the grass just above the embankment that led down to the lakeshore. The Quidditch game had been....unique in Rosie's typical experiences of how games went. The boy's sudden kiss out of nowhere, in front of everyone had thrown her a little if she was being honest and she didn't know quite what to make of it.

After the game she'd raced straight back to the Slytherin dorm, refusing to talk to anyone on the way. No, the only person she'd be talking to about any of this would be Nael, and she damn sure wasn't going to do it on the pitch where an audience could gather. After a shower and a change of clothes, she'd laid in her bed until dinner time. Even then, she'd waited until dinner was nearly through before venturing up to the Great Hall.

She'd hurried up to him and bent in his ear to tell him to meet her at the lake, before she'd turned and headed there herself. Rosalie figured they should have a talk, considering they hadn't really had one since before Christmas, and now his sudden desire to snog probably required it. She needed to know what was going on in his head, and where she fell in all of it.

Her face turned pink as he gained on her and a smug little smile met him. "Cherry Lips? Really? You know everyone's going to call me that now, right?" She took a step towards him, and shook her head. "You have a funny way of being friends, Nael." Her eyes never moved from his, though she felt her heart starting to pick up speed. She didn't understand this boy and the way he operated. Maybe he just didn't know how to express what it was he wanted.

"Come on," she said, taking his arm and pulling him to sit down with her in the grass. She sighed once they were seated and she turned to look at him. "You took a good hit today," she remarked and then turned to the lake. "You can't just kiss me and not talk to me," she said quietly, and she pulled her legs up to her chest. "I'm not ready to be anyone's girlfriend. Not that I think you want me to be yours," she looked at him carefully to make sure that wasn't what he was thinking.

"But friends...right?" she tilted her head slightly at him and nudged him with her shoulder. A small grin played across her lips. "I kiss my friends sometimes."

[Nael Al-Azma]

So she was trying to tell him that she was fine with Cassian being with other girls besides her. That he said these nice things to them all. That he was like Steve was. Right. Nael did not comment on this, but couldn't really believe her. Not that he had much experience, but he had always thought that girls minded such things. Maybe Rosie was different.

As he was ready to mount his broom again after confessing that he liked her that way, but thought it was stupid because she was with Cassian, she started to mumble quietly and reached into her purse. A present? For christmas? Nael was a bit stunned, because he had not expected anything from her and he also had not gotten her anything. He'd thought about it, but didn't things to become even more confusing and strange.

She gave him a small box and then bolted faster than he could say anything in protest or thanks or anything for that matter. For a moment he stood there with the box in hand, dumbfounded, embarrassed and confused and watched her hurry away from him.

Once he finally moved again, Nael put the box into his robes, mounted his broom and chased after the nearest bludger. He needed to hit things!

Saturday, February 23, 1974
After Dinner
The Lake

The game was over, he was showered and someone had looked at his shoulder as well. His arm was now in a sling to keep it still for a few days. Something about it needing to rest to heal properly. Spells and salves were all good and well, but the body still needed time to heal most of the time. While he had not broken anything, the collision and trying to catch Percy had torn something in there. The fact that he had continued playing had not helped the matter.

The lake. She wanted them to meet at the lake.

Nael caught the looks of some of his housemates at the dinner table, but he just gave them a smile and no words while he got up to follow her. The thing about public displays of affection was that they were public - everyone saw and everyone had some sort of opinion about it. Walking out of the Great Hall, he felt a certain pair of eyes on him and he briefly looked up at the Staff table. Nabih was right there, and it did not take a genius to see that he wasn't happy. Was it his arm in a sling? Was it Benji having played? Was it that kiss? Nael didn't kow, but he wasn't keen on finding out just now. He dropped his gaze quickly before the man could silently tell him to go to his office and wait for him there.

Nael had other places to be.

He met her smile with one of his own, happy to see her not yelling at him for what he had done. Kissing her in front of everyone was probably getting her questions from all her girlfriends now and she had to answer to them. "It's a pretty name and also very true," he said with a slight shrug, his smile turning into a soft grin.

"You have a funny way of being friends, Nael."

That was funny coming from her - the girl who was just friends but kissed sometimes. Nael had never really thought about what kind of friend he actually was. There were times when he was closed off and did not share, which made him a crappy friend, and yet he was willing to defend all of his friends or help them in any way possible, which made him a good friend. For Rosie, it had somehow become more than just wanting to be her friend. The funny feelings he got when he saw her smile, and the confusion he felt when he saw her with Cassian. It was different with her.

She pulled on his uninjured arm, and the both plopped down into the grass. Nael felt her looking at him, and turned his head in her direction. He couldn't kiss her and not talk to her. It made sense of course, but then today he just plucked up all the courage he could find to show her that he liked her. The last few weeks, he had not knows how to approach her even. The ball had been in his court after her christmas present and it had taken him a while and some Benji advice to finally do what he did today. "So if I talk to you, I can kiss you then?"

"I'm not ready to be anyone's girlfriend. Not that I think you want me to be yours,"

That was okay, wasn't it? She didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend, and she didn't want to be his girlfriend. She worded it strange though and Nael's brows came together in confusion again. She thought he didn't want her as a girlfriend? What? Nael still wasn't sure what he would do with a girlfriend, really, but he knew that he wouldn't mind calling her his girlfriend. If she was not ready for it, it was fine with him though. He probably wasn't either.

"But friends...right? I kiss my friends sometimes."

"Yes, friends," he assured her, still looking into her clear blue eyes. She was closer now, nudging him and his heart starting beating faster. Yes, she kissed her friends sometimes, and today she had kissed him, not once, but twice already. Not by choice really, but Nael had noticed her kissing him back on the ground. "Are you going to kiss me?" he asked quietly, their faces now so close to each other that he smelled the shampoo on her freshly washed hair and the scent of cherry blossoms on her skin. He could have closed to the small gap and pressed his lips on hers once more, but Nael didn't. This one was all her choice.

[Rosalie Laurence]

She hummed at him and gave a little roll of her eyes at the nickname, but she couldn't help but blush a bit. It was natural that she would taste like cherry, she mused, since half the time she had the flavored gum in her mouth and the time she didn't she was swiping on cherry-flavored lip balm. Rosalie knew there was a theme here between tastes and scents, but the girl liked what she liked, and she liked cherry.

Apparently, Nael did too.

"So if I talk to you, I can kiss you then?"

A wide smile finally broke across her face and she laughed as she dropped her cheek against her knees, her eyes sparkling at him with mischief. Until today, the only boy she'd ever kissed was Cassian. Nael catching her so off guard and so unexpectedly had made it so she hadn't really had a moment to think about the kiss, what it felt like or how it had made her feel before it was over. Even the second kiss he'd laid on her in the air had been so quick and sudden that she hadn't registered it until it was over.

Could he kiss her if he talked to her? It seemed almost a strange thing to ask, as it was more of a given that if he talked to her she'd be more inclined to snog him. An ongoing silent treatment with a kiss here and there sounded incredibly confusing - more confusing than this already was. She nodded slightly, heat racing up her neck and to her cheeks again.

She sat back up, realizing how close his face was to hers now, and she felt her heart pick up slightly in speed. Gentle at first, and then harder as his question came, hammering so heavily now that she could hear it in her ears as each beat sounded. She loved the intensity behind this boy's eyes, the way he looked at her like he saw nothing else. The boldness with which he had taken their first for himself had left her speechless.

This one, she wanted to leave him breathless. Her hand found it's way slowly to his neck, her thumb trailing his jawline. She kept her gaze locked on his, holding the moment between them, stretching it out until the very last second. Then, with the softest pull, she brought his lips to hers, and as Rosalie's blue eyes fluttered shut, the world faded away, leaving only the warmth of him against her. She drew him in, again and again, slowly, letting him get used to her and meet her where she was, as that familiar fluttering rose through her stomach and into her chest.

When their kiss finally broke, she pulled back slightly and smiled at him, watching his face for his reaction. She dropped her hand from him and then finally sat back, leaning backwards on her hands. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, her smile still lingering, and she finally said, "Well, say something! I kissed, you talk."

[Nael Al-Azma]

She was going to kiss him. Her hand on his neck, her fingers trailing his face, and Nael could not take his eyes off her. The anticipation was even greater than it had been on the pitch. Maybe because he had done it fast and without her expecting it. The adrenaline that had pumped through him then, was not there now. Now there was only her.

Finally she pulled him in and his lips touched hers, much softer than they had on the pitch. At first he felt helpless, unsure what to do exactly, but Rosie knew exactly what do to. Finally he met her kiss with a quiet intensity, his hands coming to rest gently at her waist. The warmth of her lips, the slow, deliberate way she pulled him in, sent a soft ache through him—something deep, something inevitable, something very unfamiliar.

His heartbeat raced as the world around them dissolved into nothing but her lips and breath. He didn't want her to stop, not even to catch his breath.

She pulled back from him, the kiss gone and Nael's eyes shot open. She had not only left him breathless but also speechless as he stared at her in wonder amd want. He wanted to do it again. How on earth had he thought that denying himself her company was a good idea? Stupid, that's what it had been!

Nael caught her looking at him and finally he was able to smile. A bright, happy one. "I don't know what to say, Rosie." He really didn't. Did they even have to talk? "You have to teach me...how you did that. Will you?" He leaned back on his elbows as well and looked up at the sky that was so dark already.

"I see now why you like to do this. I need some more practise though." He turned his head towards Rosie and laughed quietly. "Practise with me?"

[Rosalie Laurence]

He smiled, probably the brightest smile she had ever seen cross his face, and she returned it, giving a playful roll of her eyes. He didn't know what to say, and she turned her eyes, full of amusement to the lake. Nael was cute when he was like this - much better than the moody boy he had been all this time.

Is that all the moody boys really needed? Just a good snog? Rosalie would spread the word amongst the girls. Save them all some heartache.

"It's not something you teach," she laughed and shook her head. "It's just something you get better at." She turned her gaze back to him, those pretty dark eyes watching her, the moonlight reflecting off the lake and shining in them. He leaned back on his elbows and she felt that old familiar comfort returning between them. Where they could just be together and everything was easy.

Uncomplicated.

"Everyone likes doing it, dummy," she grinned at him as he met her gaze again. "But yeah, I can practice with you." She waited a beat, biting at her lower lip and she studied him for a moment. "Why?" she teased, "Who are you trying to impress?"

March 12, 1974
After Classes
The Lake

Rosalie took her time, shuffling the tarot deck in her hand as she sat cross-legged, facing Nael. "So we have to memorize the meanings of the Major Arcana by the end of the week if we want extra credit for Divination," she sighed, and she cut the deck on the blanket in front of them, before reuniting the cards and shuffling them one more time. The Minor Arcana lay separated just to the side. "I'll quiz you first," she said, "You have your notebook?"

She continued shuffling, lifting her blue eyes to meet his gaze and she paused, pursing her lips. "We haven't really caught up on everything that's gone on since Halloween," she said and cocked her chin at him a little. "I noticed you and Ephraim are friends again. I'm really glad." She smiled softly and shuffled one more time.

Rosalie pulled the first card and looked at it before holding it up to him. "The Empress," she prompted him, waiting for his understanding of the meaning.

[Nael Al-Azma]

A good snog would probably cure the moody from all the boys for real. In Nael's case it certainly worked in this moment. Although, he had not been all that moody today to begin with. Quidditch usually made him quite happy, and that kiss and the game had not changed any of that.

So he was going to get better at it eventually. Had he done a bad job so far? It wasn't a question Nael wanted to ask now. She didn't look unhappy and she was laughing with him. Just like they had before Halloween. Finally.

"No one. Maybe I just like the way you taste." He grinned back at her, and leaned back over to her, capturing her lips yet again. If he wanted to get better at it, he had to keep doing it, right?

March 12, 1974
After Classes
The Lake

Divination homework. While he didn't dislike the class, Nael wasn't really good at the whole thing. Ummi had made it sound easy and wonderful. She'd even tried to teach him some aura reading stuff, but Nael had not seen a bloody thing. Since Nabih had taken over the decisions regarding his education Divination had not played a big role for Nael. It wasn't the branch of magic to focus on according to his father, and Nael's talents clearly lay elsewhere as well. Still, he had promised Ummi to try to do better in Divination this school year and surprisingly Nabih had allowed it over Charms. Mainly because he didn't want Amberghast to teach him anymore.

"Yeah I have it." Nael rummaged through his bag and then pulled out his notebook, while she shuffled the cards. Tarot cards were not that difficult, because all you had to do first was to memorize them. That was something you just needed to study and Nael had no problem with that anymore. It was the interpretations that were difficult here, and sometimes the cards really did not make sense. Or they got you thinking too much about what might happen in the next week or something.

"We were never not friends, I think." Nael said softly. "It was just...Benji was so hurt, and Ephraim wouldn't promise me that it would never happen again. So I was angry with him. Took me a while to realize that it was not something Eph had wanted to happen and that it hurt him, too. The three of us are very good friends now." Nael wasn't going to tell her that they sat on the rooftop regularly, smoking, laughing and lately talking about snogging girls as well.

She showed him the first card - the empress and Nael stared at it for a moment. "Fertility, luxury and abundance. Also nuturing and motherhood. This card is a sign that you are going to be successful, and well taken care of." He didn't need his notebook for that one. "Reversed I think it means insecurity and loss of strength and willpower. You should focus more on yourself then, right?"

Rosie put the card away and was about to pull the next, when Nael put his hand over hers on the deck of cards. "Do we have to do this now? Can we not listen to music and practise...something else?" Divination could wait. Nael liked to be just in the moment, especially with Rosie.

[Rosalie Laurence]

Divination was actually a class that Rosalie enjoyed - when she wasn't being carted off into the Forbidden Forest to be brutally murdered by centaurs. Tarot cards, while a little cheesy in her opinion and not holding much merit, were easy enough to memorize and interpret, given enough exposure to them.

She listened quietly and nodded, understanding where Nael was coming from in regards to Ephraim. "Yeah, Ephraim's awesome," she agreed and waited a moment. "It's hard growing up in families like ours sometimes as you know. Even from the time you're small there's always this expectation placed on your shoulders that you're meant for greater. That you're somehow elevated above others." She thought for a moment and then shook her head, "And then you come here and you meet all these people who challenge those values and ideas. You realize that you're the odd man out. That's a hard thing to grapple with sometimes."

Rosalie knew the events that played out between Ephraim and Benji probably had very little to do with Benji and more of what Benji represented to Ephraim. "Did you always feel that too, when you were young? Was your mum the same as Nabih?" Rosalie had learned not to ask about divorced parents after she'd asked Cassian and he'd revealed his mother had passed away. She'd felt so awful afterwards, that she decided she'd tiptoe around the subject with anyone else going forward.

"Fertility, luxury and abundance. Also nuturing and motherhood. This card is a sign that you are going to be successful, and well taken care of. Reversed I think it means insecurity and loss of strength and willpower. You should focus more on yourself then, right?"

"Good enough," Rosalie shrugged and a little giggle exited her lips as she shook her head, setting the card aside. She went to pull the next and suddenly Nael's hand was on top of hers. She glanced at it for a moment before raising her eyes to his. He was looking at her in that way again and she smirked at him. As though she didn't already know. Since the Quidditch game it was all he wanted to do. She found it all a little amusing if she were being honest.

Boys.

"Fine," she sighed playfully and set the cards aside in the grass as she reached for her boombox and pressed the play button. Pink Floyd's dreamy sound flowed from the speakers and she turned back to him. "But you know this isn't all we can do, right? We do have to study sometimes. And talk. Remember the talking part? The part that makes us friends?" Her smiled widened at him and she grabbed the boy by the back of his neck, pulling his lips to hers, and she fell back into the grass, taking him with her.

No, she didn't mind practicing with Nael Al-Azma in the slightest.

[Nael Al-Azma]

Nael had not grown up the way Rosalie had. Not even close. His parents, even though magical, had lived as muggles among a lot of other muggles. His father, running a small grocery store, and his mother working in the emergency department of the nearby hospital as a nurse. Nael had not known magic until he had turned 11. When Nabih Al-Azma had entered his and his family's life, suddenly, forcefully and changed everything.

No, Nael had never felt like Rosalie described when growing up. Now he did though. Now there was a lot of pressure on him, expectations of being someone better. It was crushing at times.

At her question, Nael just shook his head. She was asking about his mother and it caught him off guard. He had hoped that by now he would do better if someone mentioned her, but the letters she had sent him were making things more difficult again. He missed her so much. Still. And reading her words for him just made it so much worse. "No, my mom was different. Very down to earth."

The thing he did do better by now when someone mentioned his mother, was keeping a straight face. He made sure not to show any of his inner turmoil, and this was neither the place or the time for sharing the feelings he felt.

They were here to do divination among other things.

Rosalie put the cards aside, started the music and Nael knew he had convinced her to ditch the tarot cards for now. Not that it had taken much. "Yeah we'll study sometimes," he muttered as he got closer to her. She said something about talking, but all he saw was her wide grin. He nodded in agreement to whatever she had just said and finally she took him with her into the grass, their lips locking in a deep kiss.

His mind went completely blank and all he could feel were her lips, soft and sweet, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. He brought his hand up to her face and ran it through her silky blonde hair before finally coming up for some air again, breaking the kiss. His face hovered over hers and all he could do was smile. "Your kisses make me forget everything. Like I'm floating." He gave her a small kiss this time and then rested his head on his elbow lying next to her.

"Do you like this? You and me, I mean? Maybe we should be more than friends." Nael shrugged a little and then rolled on his back completely looking up at the grey sky. "You ever wondered how it would be if you weren't a Laurence?"

[Rosalie Laurence]

His mum was different, he said. Humble, down-to-earth. She smiled gently as he talked about her. "Tell me about her?" she asked genuinely. She wanted to ask specific questions - where was she now? Was she still living? Why wasn't he in contact with her if she was? Why had she and his father separated? She'd listen to however much he wanted to tell her.

Rosalie's mother was very much what would be expected from a pureblood upper class matriarch. Although calling her a matriarch was a little far-fetched, considering the hierarchy in their family. Perhaps just for the little family that was Rosalie, her father and mother. Gretchen Laurence was rigid, stony-faced, a socialite with impeccable power over the other women in her circle. She was no-nonsense, always expecting the best from her daughter and nothing less.

It was interesting to her that Nael's father had married someone who seemed the complete opposite to that. Normally men of their status wanted a woman like her mother.

He muttered against her lips and it sent shivers through her chest as she smiled and he nodded. It was obvious he wasn't listening to a word she had said, only focused on the kiss that was coming. As they fell back into the grass, his hand running through her hair, she kept her hand on the back of his neck, her other hand coming up to his shoulder to hold him in place, not letting him get closer or further away. His lips moved against hers and she felt that familiar reverence she always felt flutter through her with Nael - an ease and closeness with him that she treasured.

He broke their kiss, his face hovering over hers and her eyes sparkled at him, her lips soft, lingering somewhere between a smile and not. His smile was beautiful, making those dark eyes shine behind those long eyelashes. Her heart picked up speed as he looked at her, and she wasn't sure what came next.

"Your kisses make me forget everything. Like I'm floating."

Her eyes softened more than they already were. He was so incredibly sweet, and the way he looked at her, she knew he meant every word. His lips came down on her again for another kiss, before he rested his head next to hers. Her hand found his and she looked at him, feeling strange that their friendship had taken this sudden turn, but not at all unhappy about it.

"Do you like this? You and me, I mean? Maybe we should be more than friends."

She gave a little groan as he flopped casually onto his back and she gave a little laugh at his question. "Nael," she said, drawing out the last syllable of his name slightly, "wasn't it just three days ago we said 'friends'?" She grinned at him, and gave him a little shove on his shoulder. "Of course I like this, but...." She liked other things too. She didn't want to have to choose. Did he want her to choose? "Is that what you need me to be? Your girlfriend?"

"You ever wondered how it would be if you weren't a Laurence?"

Rosalie froze for a moment and her eyebrows came together as her blue eyes looked at him, and she was taken back by the question. They were fourteen. Surely he wasn't saying he wanted to marry her one day. "All the time," she laughed, but there was some apprehension now in her voice. "Someday I'll run away from all of them," she said, with not a hint of a joke lacing her tongue. "Once I finish university, I'll go start my own life somewhere," she sighed and flopped on her back as well. "Far away from noble titles and expectations and being a proper lady." She hesitated a moment before choosing to speak the words out loud.

"I'll never be Julia."

[Nael Al-Azma]

"Tell me about her?"

Nael stared up into the sky, not sure what to say. Did he even want to say anything more? Talking about his mother always brought on feelings that were so very hard to control. Once he allowed them, it was hard to stop them from taking over. He didn't want Rosie to see him that way. So vulnerable and weak and pathetic. A little boy who missed his mother more than anything in the world.

He wasn't a little boy anymore.

And she would never come back.

"I grew up with her, not Nabih. She...I do not know where she is now. I have not seen her for almost 2 years." Nael still remembered the last time as clear as day even though back then he had not known it would be the last time. She'd taken him to the train with Nabih. She never talked to the man, but she had insisted on coming that day. She'd kissed him, told him she loved him, to do well and to write to her. She'd also said they would see each other over Christmas break. That just never happened.

After that she was just gone.

"She never wanted me to be an Azma, you know. She never wanted me to be a wizard even. All she wanted was to protect me. And then she left to protect herself, and my sisters."

Nael fell silent, his heart aching now. It had taken him a while, but he understood why they had left. If grandfather had found out, they would have all died. "She wrote me letters a few weeks ago. But I just want to forget. Is that horrible?" He didn't turn to Rosalie at the question but just kept on staring up.

This ruined the whole mood. He had to pull himself together.

Finally Nael turned back to Rosie when she shoved him a little at his question. Yes, they had said friends, but maybe that term didn't do them justice. Or his feelings for her anyway. She seemed more hesitant about it. There was a but and that never meant anything good.

"Is that what you need me to be? Your girlfriend?"

Why would she ask it like that? What he needed her to be sounded wrong on all levels. What good did that do if she didn't want to be. "No. I know what you said about being a girlfriend. Just...if at some point you feel like being someone's girlfriend, it would be great..you know," Nael had to smile at her, feeling his cheeks grow hotter with every passing second. "If you decide to be mine."

At his next question there was a moment of silence. The look she gave him was strange and Nael wondered if he had overstepped. It had been a hypothetical question. He had no grown up an Azma until he was 12. Had she never wondered where she would be and how things would be if she wasn't a Laurence? If she hadn't been born into a rich pureblood family.

"Someday I'll run away from all of them. Once I finish university, I'll go start my own life somewhere. Far away from noble titles and expectations and being a proper lady."

His dark eyes widened in surprise at hearing this. She had imagined not being a Laurence, just not like he had meant it. Nael wanted to tell her that it was a good idea, but he didn't. Family always caught up with you and it was unlikely that a family like the Laurences would let Rosie go just like that. She was destined to be some rich pureblood's wife.

"Will you take me with you?"

Dreams could be wonderful things.

[Rosalie Laurence]

For Them

Rosie laid on her arm as she turned to him and listened attentively. Two whole years without seeing her, even though she was still living. As hard as her relationship could be with her own mother, Rosalie loved her deeply. She couldn't imagine going two years without even speaking to her, even if she did run away. There'd still be letters at the very least. He hadn't grown up with his father - she wondered what had made all of that change? Had Nabih come back into their lives and threatened Nael's mother to make her take his sisters...

Rosalie blinked, her thoughts catching on that one word like a loose thread. She didn’t know he had sisters. Why hadn’t he told her before?

"She wrote me letters a few weeks ago. But I just want to forget. Is that horrible?"

Rosie looked away for a moment and then shook her head slightly. "I don't think so. If it causes you too much pain, you're allowed to let it go," she said gently. She thought for a moment, "I think sometimes we take on too much for our parents. When they should be taking on more for us. It's not bad that you want to forget."

He turned back to her, and she expected to see some sort of relief or agreement in his eyes, but instead there was something else entirely. His gaze was serious and she met it with her own soft blue. There was something there that she hadn't seen before, and it made her smile drop a little, the heaviness of the moment suddenly weighing on her. She had been teasing him, joking with him a moment ago about the girlfriend thing, and now he was looking at her like....

"No. I know what you said about being a girlfriend. Just...if at some point you feel like being someone's girlfriend, it would be great..you know,"

Her eyes widened just slightly and her lips parted as he smiled that sweet grin of his, his cheeks flushing red. Oh no. This was more than Rosalie knew. She knew that look. It was the same way she looked at...

"If you decide to be mine."

Cassian.

Rosalie's heart stilled, just for a second, and then with a sharp exhale it began racing.

He wanted her to be his. They'd be together, just the two of them. He had feelings for her that went beyond friends that sometimes kissed. He wanted to give her his heart.

Still lying on her arm, she reached out with her free hand, fingers instinctively searching for his again. When she found them, she entwined them gently.

Rosalie bit her lip, searching for the right words. She was not a cruel person. She would never lead someone on, least of all Nael, who meant so much to her. She liked him - more than all the others. More than she probably should.

But not more than him.

Her throat tightened as she forced herself to speak. “Nael,” she whispered, squeezing his hand just a little tighter, just enough to ground herself. “I can’t give you my heart.” She felt him tense, just slightly. She swallowed the ache rising in her chest and pushed forward, as gently as she could.

“Because Cassian already has it.”

She let the silence fall between them and she wanted to tell him she was sorry, that she had never wanted to hurt him. She wanted to tell him that she wished she could be the girlfriend he deserved. Because this boy, this sweet, soft, kind-hearted boy deserved the world.

"And you deserve more than a girl who kisses you for fun while her heart belongs to someone else."

She finally dropped her gaze, pulling her hand away from his slowly and she sat up in the grass. It was strange, feeling this twist between heartbreak, relief and truth that pulled her in three different directions. She didn't know how to sort it, place it, or reconcile with any of it.

And now she had breathed life into something she never had before. She had said that Cassian had her heart.

"But one day," she said quietly, "If you do ever want to run away from this..." she looked back at him and gave him a sad smile, "We'll all do it together. Promise."

[Nael Al-Azma]

Was he allowed to let go? It was the most logical option after he had tried to fight against his new reality. She'd gone, the owls returning with his letters, and Nabih had taken care of the rest. Every trace of her and his little family was erased from his records. Sarah Antony just lived in Nael's head and nowhere else. Even her own family did not know where she was.

"I guess you're right." Nael felt like he had shared too much. His sisters were not something he was supposed to bring up ever. It raised too many questions, Nabih had said. Nael was sure that Rosie would keep this to herself though, if she had even picked up on it. Seeing Layla and Liyana on that picture, the way they had grown, it just made him miss them. Did they still remember their big brother?

Rosie's hand found its way into his and he could already see it in her face. His words had made her serious and whatever she was going to say next, Nael already knew they would not be in his favor. Deep down he had known this before he even brought it up. Knowing was better though and he knew her to be open and honest.

He took a deep breath, her words cutting deeper than he expected, but he nodded slowly, understanding. His voice was quiet, steady despite the sting in his chest. "I figured..." He squeezed her hand back, though his touch was lighter now. He wanted to hold on, but he knew he couldn’t. So instead, he slowly let his grip loosen, though he didn’t pull away just yet. She did though, his hand left empty and cold in the space where hers had been.

For a while he said nothing. As he looked at her, she seemed a little lost in it, just like he was. It wasn’t just his heart breaking—although he would never admit to that— but something in her as well. And maybe that should have made it easier, knowing this wasn’t simple for her either. But it didn’t.

He ran a hand through his hair, glancing up at the sky as if searching for something. Was it answers? Or just the strength to let go? When he looked back at her, the weight in his chest was still there, but a small part of him had already begun to accept it. Cassian wasn't a bad choice and Nael could be happy for them. Not today, but some day when she actually decided to be Cassian's girlfriend.

"I hope you get to do that, Rosie. You deserve being free from all those strict rules and expectations." When it came to him, it was but a dream. One that would never become reality. Azmas didn't run from their family and Nabih would hunt him down to last corner of this earth if he tried. It was alright though. Nael was learning to work with what he had.

Nael sat up as well and took the cards from the ground. "Let's get back to this. You answer this time." He picked a random card from the middle of the deck and held it out to her. "The Magician."