Eyes Don't Lie | Nalia Snaps

[Nabih Al-Azma]

That was it. Nabih did care, more than he even wanted to. It hurt him more than he would ever admit. Especially that time in September cut deep. What was there to say about it though? What good would it do to share his thoughts on the matter. It had already happened and there was nothing he could say or do to make it undone.

It was important that there was nothing now. Or rather that there wouldn't be anything else going foward. Indigo Amberghast could not be her friend. Not now, not in the future. If she wanted that, Nabih could not be with her. The man was not just absolutely insufferable but also a danger to Nabih and his family and while he trusted Julia enough, he did not trust Amberghast one single bit.

"I think I knew that,"

Julia had taken his words regarding Ivansko with silence and even when he told her about Tala, her expression did not change much. How she knew this, was beyond him though. Nabih hardly spoke with Tala unless he needed something from the wing and while he did remember Julia walking in on one of those conversations, there had not been anything remotely romantic between him and the healer. Perhaps the way he actually talked to Tala gave it away.

"I can't be that for you, until I know that you won't hurt me. And I don't trust that you won't yet."

Her voice was so quiet and serious and even though he very much looked at her, she did not. There it finally was though. The reason why she made it difficult for him but not for anyone else. She wouldn't sleep with him until she was sure, he wouldn't just walk away after. A fair point given their rocky history. It also meant that he was perhaps more important to her than he'd thought he was.

"I respect that and I understand that this is not something I can demand from you. Nor do I want to do that." Trust was earned, not just given out like candy. It was the same the other way around, although Nabih had different issues when it came to that. His heart was usually not on the line, although he wasn't so sure about it this time.

"What do you want to know, Nabih? I'm an open book at this point."

It was interesting that she didn't ask him anything else, now that he had actually offered, but Nabih wasn't going to complain. "He's not your friend too, is he?" It would not take much for Julia to know who was meant here. The way Nabih looked at her now, also said everything she needed to know on what he thought about that. "I also still want to know the real reason why you came here." She had tried to give reasons but there was something missing. Something family related that she did not want to tell him about. Usually Nabih wasn't one to pry, but she had offered and it was worth a second try.

"Is it over for you? If not, then I need to know where you see this going. Right now we're just going in circles and we'll end up right back here again."

Without answering she had thrown the question right back at him, and it would have amused him, if the topic had not been this serious. "It is not." Nabih's answer came quick. He would have sent her out a few minutes after she'd come in if that had been the case for him. A small part of him wanted it to be over, so he could go back to normal, but he knew he could not just let her go.

Nabih took a moment to think on her next words and questions. Where did he see this going? It was difficult to say really, because so far he had not believed her to be all that serious. Of course, this conversation proved him wrong in that regard. "I am not sure honestly," he finally said, his hand rubbing over his beard while looking at her. "I have never been in this kind of relationship, only my marriage. I would like for us to be serious. There is a problem I see, which will bring us right back here, as you said."

Here, he hesitated slightly, not sure if this was the right time to bring this up. Things were so delicate now and putting pressure on her was not exactly smart. However that wasn't even his intention. "Julia, I know you are loyal to your family, to your father and brothers. You do what they tell you. We both know they don't approve of me. We also both know that they send you to deal with men that need some winning over when talking isn't enough. It's a role, I understand that."

Again Nabih paused and this time he lowered his gaze. "That dinner the other night with Boulstridge. I know it got canceled and it was because of something I did." He raised his eyes to meet hers again very slowly. "I could not let you spend another evening with that man, Julia. How is this supposed to work? Next time and next time and next time. Role or not, how do you see this going?"

[Julia Laurence]

September.

It was strange what feeling vulnerable could do to someone. He had gone weeks without so much as speaking to her, his cold and dismissive glances reinforcing her belief that he was done with her - or rather, that he had never truly been interested in her in the first place. Despite his words at the wedding and then at the cafe, they had come across hallow to her in the face of his absence. Not physically of course; no matter where she looked, he seemed to be there.

Julia wasn't a desperate woman waiting in the wings for any scrap of affection or attention he threw her way. She wasn't Karina Ivansko pining after a man that was completely oblivious to her existence. She was a woman with options, who knew how to draw in men that she wanted. June had been fun - in the same way that all of her previous experiences with other men were. September had been empowering.

Did she regret any of it? No, if she had to think about it. She had done exactly what she had wanted to do, and nothing more or less. With Nabih, it was different. She couldn't just take him to her rooms or give him what he wanted for the fun of it. He said he respected it, but again, she didn't respond. What more was there to say really?

"He's not your friend too, is he?"

Julia raised her eyes to Nabih's, and she could practically feel the tension radiating off of him. That dark look in his eyes, cold and unreadable at apparently the very thought of it. She slowly shook her head. "No, not at all," she answered quietly but firmly. She and Indigo were not friends. They had met a handful of times, enjoyed one another's company and now they occasionally saw one another around the castle. Friends? Julia didn't know Indigo in any real sense to consider him a friend. She knew his name, obviously, what he did for work, a few little things they had shared in their flirtations. Beyond that, he was a mystery to her, and she to him.

Besides, she didn't habitually turn her bed partners into friends afterward. It was too complicated, even if the act itself had been completely simple and without any strings attached.

It would have been the right moment to ask about Tala - what exactly 'getting along as colleagues' meant to him, but Julia was already sick of the subject. She didn't care to hear one more detail about Nabih Al-Azma and Tala Bellestorm's interactions as long as she lived. He could keep all of that to himself.

"I also still want to know the real reason why you came here."

"Very well," Julia said with a sigh and she sat up straight in the chair, crossing one leg over the other. She had promised Nabih she would tell him everything at some point, and this was as good a time as any. "Originally, I visited Hogwarts back in May to discuss a possible collaboration with the school and The British Museum. We wanted to do a sort of 'pop-up' exhibit showcasing the history of the school and its impact on Wizarding Britain." The museum had been attempting to do a collaboration with the school for over a decade now, but had run into issues getting the former and current administration on board for whatever reason. Something about them being non-starters.

"During that meeting, it was brought up that while the school was, again, not interested in the project, they had several openings for staff. James and I discussed it, and while I wasn't ready to take on a professor role, I thought it would be a good way to meld the two institutions - at least through me - if I maintained a role as a consultant for the museum." She shifted uncomfortably in her chair and her voice grew quieter. She didn't like airing her family's dirty laundry or revealing anything about them to outsiders, but again, Nabih was different.

"As you obviously know, Edward has become more and more volatile and hostile in just the time you've known me, but it's been a steady increase in outbursts and fits of rage for the past year and a half now. It's....become unbearable to live with," she continued on, "Aside from the issue of the will, having me followed and James having to step between us multiple times now, he's been threatening to take everything from me - even my rooms."

Her face flushed thinking of the day Edith had waltzed into her rooms and effectively began redecorating the place with her eyes. "James and I talked about it in depth and we thought if I had some space from Edward, effectively removing myself, that it would ease some of the tensions between all of us. I'd have a place of my own, he couldn't have me watched here, I could make connections for the family, and I could still do my work. When he presented it to Papa, he agreed that it would be for the best." She leaned forward and looked at him, "I promise it had nothing to do with you and was already a done-deal before the wedding. I didn't tell you because I thought if I did you would lose it." A small, tired smile met her lips, "Which you did."

There, it was all out in the open. The Laurence family was fractured at every seam and Nabih knew it. Their father being in the dire straits he was had ripped the three siblings apart - a unit that had always felt unbreakable to Julia. A dynasty that couldn't be destroyed. And yet all it took was an unexpected illness and a brother drunk with power and a need for control. She dropped her eyes again and exhaled, as though she had been holding her breath for two months now. "What will happen when my father passes is another matter."

She had no idea what Edward would become when their father finally took his last breath. If the past year and a half were any indication, it wasn't going to be a smooth or easy transition for any of them. Whether Edward would let her remain at Hogwarts or demand she come home was unclear. He hadn't argued any when he was informed of her new position. And as long as Julia kept the will from him until then, she would get her entire inheritance. She wouldn't be financially beholden to her brothers anymore, and everything she did for them would be by her own will.

At least, that was her perception. Julia had no real insight to how any of this would shortly play out in the future.

But it wasn't over for him, and even with these words, Julia's eyes or expression didn't soften. She wanted to tell him she felt the same - that it wasn't over for her. That she wanted to be with him, but she wouldn't let herself. Not yet. There was more he needed to say before she could.

"I have never been in this kind of relationship, only my marriage. I would like for us to be serious. There is a problem I see, which will bring us right back here, as you said."

And apparently, more she needed to explain.

She watched as he hesitated, and she realized that he was about to be vulnerable, in a way she had never seen him be before.

"Julia, I know you are loyal to your family, to your father and brothers. You do what they tell you. We both know they don't approve of me."

Julia held his gaze. An understatement if she ever heard one, although her father had never given his disapproval. Shortly after the wedding, when her father had been made aware of the events that had unfolded between Nabih, herself and her brothers, her father had merely advised her to be careful and use caution. Whether that was because he was weak and knew he couldn't protect her from Edward any longer, or because he was worried about Nabih himself, she couldn't say.

"We also both know that they send you to deal with men that need some winning over when talking isn't enough. It's a role, I understand that."

She glanced past him, her shoulders sinking slightly as she averted her gaze. She already knew where this was headed, even before he finished his thought. He didn’t approve of her in this role — the seductive succubus drawing men from their comfortable lives into the Laurence family’s viper’s nest.

"That dinner the other night with Boulstridge. I know it got canceled and it was because of something I did."

Her gaze snapped back to him immediately, her brow furrowing in confusion and disbelief as he raised his eyes to meet hers. Wait, he had meddled in her family's affairs? To accomplish what exactly? If he had done something, then he had to realize how serious the situation in Kenya was for the Laurences. How shaky their hold was on the black market down there? Even Julia - who was kept out of most things like this - was well aware of it.

"I could not let you spend another evening with that man, Julia. How is this supposed to work? Next time and next time and next time. Role or not, how do you see this going?"

Her lips parted slightly and she closed her eyes and shook her head, dropping her face into her hands. He had been so torn up by the idea of her on the arm of another man, flirting with him, and whatever else he pictured in his mind that he had gone to insane lengths to ensure it wouldn't happen. "Nabih," she said, almost forlornly, and she finally raised her head to look at him again. The look on his face almost broke her heart and she couldn't stand it anymore.

She got up from her chair and crossed the short distance to the couch where she sat down beside him and immediately took his hands into hers. "You can't do that," she said emphatically, shaking her head. She sighed, "I do what I have to for as long as I have to. Only as long as I have to." She looked at him pointedly, hoping he understood, but she continued, her voice breaking as she said the next few words. "When my father passes," and she took a breath to steady her voice again, "I won't be reliant on them anymore, not in the same way.” She would still be loyal to her brothers, of course, and there were still things as an unmarried woman and a member of the family that would be expected of her.

But being the little carrot they dangled in front of men? No, she wouldn’t be taking on that role anymore. Not if she could help it. Let them use their own wives for that.

Her eyes softened, “Why didn’t you tell me it bothered you?” She genuinely hadn’t known it did. They had spoken so casually about it, and he knew it was what she was required to do - not something she wanted to do or looked forward to in any sort of way. “I promise you,” she said, tightening her hands around his, “Once Edward takes the duchy, things will be different for me.”

[Nabih Al-Azma]

"No, not at all,"

The way she said it made him believe her. There was nothing between them aside from sharing whatever they had shared in those two nights. Nabih felt something that he could identify as relief going through him, but he paid it no mind. The alternative would have been just so much worse, that he had hoped for the answer she had given him. Barlowe he could handle, at least for now. Anyone else - Auror or whomever - he could not. Nabih had never felt possessive over a woman, not even his ex-wife. They were his in the bedroom and then they went on their merry way. No love lost.

Julia Laurence was yet again so very different in that regard.

As she went to answer his second question, Nabih just sat and listened. Edward seemed to become a problem for his siblings. Julia had told him during their date in Paris that the old Laurence had never really let his sons in on decisions and handling certain situations. Now that Edward had to, he seemed not capable of dealing with it. The power going to his head was messing things up for James and even more so for his little sister. Defiant Julia, who wanted to do what she wanted and not what she was told. Edward had no idea what he was doing, otherwise he would see the potential his sister had for their family. As the only woman, she held cards that neither him or James held. Especially with both of the brothers having married down - surprising as that was.

Every family had their problems, larger pureblood ones even more so than others. They were dysfunctional, broken, wars within. What he was more and more learning about the Laurence family did not shock or surprise Nabih in the least. He could understand that she was not keen on sharing these things with anyone. Usually such things were kept quiet, hidden and away from the public eye. Nabih was not the public eye in this case though. In fact, he had no intention of using that information for anything but to understand the situation Julia was in better now. He nodded slowly, accepting her words as sufficient answer. He ignored her little jab at him, not wanting to go into that again.

"What will happen when my father passes is another matter."

"It's safe to say that you being independent from your older brother is not the worst idea. However that might look like in the future.. I take it you still have the will hidden from him?" It was the only thing securing her place in her family. Why Edward saw the need to strip his sister of everything was not entirely clear or logical though. She posed no threat to him, or maybe he was just bluffing in order to keep her in line. Make her do what he wanted. Did he not have a wife for these things?

It was her turn to listen, and when he saw her reaction, Nabih wanted to stop talking. She knew exactly what he was talking about. She maybe did not know any details about what had happened to stop that evening, but she knew that it had been bad. Nabih had not just prevented Julia meeting Boulstridge again, but he had also sent a very powerful message to James and subsequently to Edward. They didn't approve of him, but he was not some man they could threaten and deal with the way they dealt with others. It would cost them, every insult, every threat and every injustice done to their sister.

"You can't do that,"

Yes, he could. And he would.

"I do what I have to for as long as I have to. Only as long as I have to. When my father passes, I won't be reliant on them anymore, not in the same way.”

She'd come next to him and her hands were in his. As her voice broke, he squeezed her hand slightly. She wanted him to understand that she had it under control. That it was something she had to do. It's not that he didn't understand that part already. As he had said, it was a role she thought she had to play. One they had taught her to play.

He looked her over, studying her face, wondering if she actually believed that she would be free of her brother's reign once her father died. She seemed to genuinely think that to be the case. Nabih didn't see it. She was still going to be a Laurence. Expectations stayed the same, and with the way things were going and how controlling Edward seemed to be, the next step was logical to Nabih. The old Laurence had not forced marriage upon his daughter, but Edward surely would try to do exactly that. If only to expand his power and influence. There would be something to get her to comply surely.

“Why didn’t you tell me it bothered you? I promise you. Once Edward takes the duchy, things will be different for me.”

Her hands tightened around his, and for a moment he did not know what to say. At first it hadn't bothered him - or so he liked to tell himself. If he was really honest it had bothered him the first time he had seen her, hanging on someone's arm. From there it had just been someone different every event he had seen her at. Not that she ever made a show of it - oh no she was quite subtle about it. But Nabih had still seen it all when he had been around. And since the wedding it had become almost unbearable to think her with a different guy. It was unsettling and Nabih had done everything to not entertain those thoughts. She was not his woman and she was free to do what she wanted.

"Would it have changed anything if I had told you? I have no claim on you or the things you do." Even telling her now was foolish, putting himself out there like this, it was so unlike anything he usually did. The only reason he did was because they had started this conversation with honesty and she had shared her feelings with him. Nabih pulled his hand out of her grip and brushed it lightly across her cheek. "I wish for you that they will be." It's all he could say. It was likely that nothing was going to change. Edward would remain Edward, his uglyness probably only increasing.

For a brief moment, Nabih looked down at their hands, the notebook still in his lap and tea cups on the table. They were honest, but she had not answered him. Not because she didn't want to, but because there was no answer. Finally his eyes came back up to meet hers again. "I don't want to harm you, or your family or their businesses. Kenya was a risk, but it was also a message to your brothers that was overdue, considering the threat Edward made against me. But I cannot be in a relationship with you and watch you do this from the sidelines." He was not that kind of man, he had learned. Not at all.

"Perhaps it would be better for us to focus on working together, respecting each other, go on a few more dates..." Nabih felt  something weird inside his stomach and chest. Was he really saying this? Like he wanted to be friends, when that was not what he wanted at all. "What do you think?" he asked quietly, his hand dropping back down to hers.

[Julia Laurence]

"It's safe to say that you being independent from your older brother is not the worst idea. However that might look like in the future.. I take it you still have the will hidden from him?"

Julia nodded. "I have it with me, here. I've hidden it in the Restricted Section." Specifically between the spine of a book she knew for a fact no one would ever attempt to check out. It was the most secure place that she could possibly imagine outside of Azkaban. No one got in there without her knowing about it - or without her permission. Edward was still furious of course, constantly threatening her - but all without substance. Only she knew where it was and if something happened to her, he'd never get his hands on it.

Not that she believed Edward would actually ever physically hurt her. He was all bark - always had been. James was the bite, and he used it to protect her.

But Edward would take everything from her the moment he had the chance. That was his power, she was discovering; his preferred method of control. As long as he felt she was within his grasp, that she still played the game, he let her be. But the second he suspected she was slipping away?

This was why it was crucial that he never found the will. It was the only thing standing between him and absolute control — over their father’s legacy, over their family’s future, and most of all, over her. Once her father passed and the will was executed, then she was in the clear and Edward could run the family and duchy the way he saw fit, for all she cared. James had his opinions, but that was neither here nor there to Julia.

In Nabih's case, his meddling in her family's affairs was a line he couldn't cross. It not only set a dangerous precedent between the two families, but it put her in severe danger if her brothers gathered that it was more than just payback for a threat on his life. If Edward found out it had something to do with Julia as well, she couldn't say if his rage would escalate at that point or not.

He was quiet for a moment, seemingly contemplating everything and deciding what to say. She wanted to pull him into her in that moment, tell him that he meant more to her than he knew - even if she didn't know what 'more' was.

"Would it have changed anything if I had told you? I have no claim on you or the things you do."

His tone was quiet, and she searched his face for a moment before dropping her eyes to their hands. This is who she was - who she always had been. What she was trained to do by her father. From her earliest memories, Julia could recall being the little girl they dressed up, presented to strangers as a charming little doll to entertain and make them laugh. As she grew older into a teenager, this evolved into her being a pretty centerpiece at important dinners. Quiet, never allowed to speak, but always sweet and offering a smile. As an adult, it escalated into her being the company that her father offered to important men while he reeled them into his schemes and eventually deep into his pockets.

She never slept with them - it was a line her father never asked her or allowed her to cross. But flirtations, seductions, temptations, making the men think they had a chance - it was all part of her place in the family. Rosalie was on the same path - much of it being instilled into her by Julia herself. Julia knew this on some level - she was intelligent and knew what she was doing when she encouraged the girl in some of the familiar behaviors Julia exhibited. Cycles were cycles, and if they worked and benefited the Laurences, then who was she to argue them while they were required of her?

It was better for Rosalie to understand the mechanisms of their family and her place in it now, before she found herself in a similar position Julia had when she was a girl.

"I still care about how you feel," Julia said quietly, knowing it wouldn't have changed anything. It couldn't have. Not yet anyway. His hand went to her face, his touch soft and gentle - loving almost. She leaned into it slightly and let his words fall over her. He didn't believe things could be different - it was apparent from his tone and the inflection he said them in.

"I don't want to harm you, or your family or their businesses. Kenya was a risk, but it was also a message to your brothers that was overdue, considering the threat Edward made against me. But I cannot be in a relationship with you and watch you do this from the sidelines."

It was strange how immediate she felt the drop in her chest, the weight of his words coming down on her like a gavel striking wood. He couldn't be with her. Not while she still played this part. She couldn't blame him of course - what man, especially a prideful man like Nabih would? They weren't in a serious relationship and her loyalties still lay with her family and likely always would. While her father was deteriorating there was no way to know how long she would still have him. Forever, if she had the option. But while he was here, there was no way out - safely.

His next words though left her quiet and with a pit in her stomach so enormous, she could hardly focus on anything else.

"Perhaps it would be better for us to focus on working together, respecting each other, go on a few more dates..."

Her eyes fell to their hands and she didn't know what to say. What did she think? She hated every word of it. She wanted to be with Nabih, but she understood his position. Dates maybe. Professional and respectful otherwise.

It all sounded like it was over after all.

She nodded slowly, "That's probably for the best." She raised her eyes to him again, and gave a resigned shrug. She wanted to tell him that she'd figure it out, and everything would be fine, but she knew better. Adult relationships were complicated. "I'm going to go," she said quietly and pulled her hands away before standing up. "Keep me posted on Benji? And let Nael know that detentions are postponed until further notice."

Professional and respectful.

She headed for the door and paused as she looked over her shoulder at him. "If you're serious about the date, we'll do it as soon as Benji's out of the Hospital Wing."

[Nabih Al-Azma]

Saturday December 8th, 1973
The Library
Mid Morning

"So how do you want to do this Professor Laurence?" His eyes smiled at her, even though his lips actually didn't. Nabih liked sitting together with Julia in her office, just talking and in this case planning their lesson together. He was so very curious about her teaching the kids. Every time she explained stuff, he was captivated by her vast knowledge. Of course, students did not always appreciate that kind of thing, but Nabih was sure she would capture their attention.

Nabih wasn't going to interfere with what Julia wanted to teach the children about Egyptian gods. She was the expert on this and he had not invited her as a guest lecturer  to have her stand on the side while he talked. All he would do was provide the spells for the amulets. Speaking of, Nabih picked up one of the two amulets Julia had brought with her. He would have to make replicas and enchant them. They would not be even remotely as powerful as the originals were, but it would do for the students. It was just to show them how it had been done back in the day, and how some people actually still used these symbols for wards and protection. "Do you think they will enjoy these?"

They continued talking and Nabih felt comfortable. The tensions between them were almost non existent anymore since they had decided to not get serious with each other. As much as Nabih still wanted them to be, as much as he still wanted her, it had been very good for them. Their date had gone great and Nabih had never felt as relaxed and comfortable with someone as he had that day in the car and on that hike and during their picnic. It had reset them, and even now here in the castle, it was going smooth between them. Nabih stayed Nabih, of course, and Julia stayed Julia, but the misunderstandings between them seemed to have finally vanished. He gave her the room to be what she needed to be, and she did the same for him. And yet, when they met and talked and had tea and flirted, it was almost like they were friends.

It wasn't enough. But it was good.

January 14th, 1974
Julia's rooms
Midday

She had returned to the castle some time this morning. Nabih had been notified by one of the portraits and he made his way over to her rooms right away. The day she got word about her father dying, Nabih did not really have the chance to comfort her much. She had been almost robotic, telling him she needed to leave and he had understood. Her place was at her father's side now, with her family. He had no place there, even though he felt like he needed to be there for her.

Nabih knocked on her door and while at first nothing happened, the door swung open a minute later, after he'd knocked again. She stood in the middle of her rooms, and he was next to her in a heartbeat, taking her into his arms. She hadn't asked him to do this, he didn't even know if she wanted it, but it felt like the only thing he could do. The only thing that was right in a scenario where nothing could even be right.

"I am so sorry, hayati." He stroked her hair, holding her, gently and so very calm. "I know he was the most important person to you. Just..." There was nothing to say that would make it okay for her and even if he tried the words would not mean anything to her. So Nabih just held her in his embrace, sharing his warmth with her and his care for her. "I'm here for you," he whispered into her hair, feeling her body starting to shake.

[Julia Laurence]

Saturday December 8th, 1973
The Library
Mid Morning

"I think it's important we discuss relevancy between the amulets, the spells and why they're connected to these gods. I think a brief overview of each god will be sufficient," her tone was serious, thoughtful and focused as she bent over her notebook, scratching hastily in her neat handwriting. "No need to put the children to sleep before they've even flicked a wand." She didn't see the smile in his eyes or really even register the softness in his voice when he called her 'professor'. There was a difference in Julia when she was working on something she was passionate about, where everything else sort of faded to the background.

"With Bes, I think we focus on the different depictions of him as a fighter, dancer and his fearsome image. Make sure it really resonates with the act of protection. I'll go over all of this briefly before pivoting into Nephtys. We'll talk about her connection to Set, being the goddess of the dead, and so on and so forth." She finally looked up at him, pausing her writing and she met his gaze with a small smile. "Then I'll step aside and let you teach the incantations."

It would be easy enough, much like their recent interactions with one another. Once she and Nabih had agreed not to take whatever they had to a serious level, things had calmed down considerably between them. Without the strain of a looming relationship or trying to figure out what they wanted to be - neither of them helping this by not communicating their feelings - everything became friendly again. She found that she actually enjoyed having him in her life this way. No complications, no will-they-won't-they, no fighting over boundaries, secrets and sharing more than they wanted to.

They could just be.

"I think they'll love it," she said enthusiastically, and she reached across the table to rub the top of his hand.

It wasn't enough. But it was good.

January 14th, 1974
Julia's Rooms
Midday

Why was she here? Why was she here? She should be back home, helping Edward with the mountain of paperwork, letters, and documents that needed to be handled. She should be with James in meeting after meeting, assuring the other powerful houses of their stability, and reinforcing their Ministry contacts with the easy sway she held over them. She should be writing, filling pages with perfect, practiced gratitude, ensuring every condolence received an appropriate response. She should be maintaining control, preserving the image her father had built, reinforcing the power of their name. She should be....

Julia’s fingers dug into the edge of the couch, her other hand pressed hard against her mouth, as if sheer force alone could keep every dark emotion suppressed deep inside.

Her father would be ashamed to see the mess she was right now. He was strong like that, a pillar of strength, of discipline, of control. A man who never faltered, never let emotion dictate action, never wasted time on weakness. He had taught her better than this.

Julia squeezed her eyes shut. This wasn't rational. This was exhaustion, the weight of her family's name bearing down on her, as it did her brothers. It was the realization that her Papa, a man that had always been her safe place, was gone. He was relegated now to memory, to the history annals of her family, like all that came before him. She would never hear his firm but kind voice again, or see the pride in his eyes whenever he looked on any of his three children. She would never again see him in her doorway before turning in for the night, or hear him call her 'Little Jewel'.

He would never meet his grandchild who was due any day now. Her children, if she ever had any, would never meet the man who would have been the most amazing, gentle, and fun-loving grandfather.

It was more than she could bear to think about, and so she didn't. She pushed every thought away and fought with herself to push on. She had work to do. The library needed her. The students needed her. Standing here crying wasn't going to bring her father back.

He was never coming back.

A knock on her door. Her eyes opened and she took a deep breath, willing herself to stand up straight, to put on a neutral face. The knock came again, and she picked her wand up off the side table and flicked it. The door swung open, and her eyes immediately met Nabih's. Something inside of her crashed into itself the moment he was beside her and she let go.

His arms wrapped around her and she buried herself into him, letting his familiar scent of sandalwood and cinnamon fill her senses, pushing back the eruption of emotion that was teetering on the edge of her control. His words were soft, gentle, and she felt his hand stroking her hair. He wasn't supposed to be this for her. He wasn't supposed to be the man that she wanted all week, the person that could calm her when she was boiling over. He wasn't supposed to be the one she looked for in every face, or the one that came to her without asking, knowing she needed him.

She needed him. Her body began to shake as the tears finally washed down her face, the quiet sobs etching out of her against everything that told her to hold them in. She was weak, but Nabih was strong for her. This is what a partner was supposed to feel like.

This is what love was supposed to feel like.

"Stay with me," her soft request came as she held tightly to him. She buried herself deeper against him, and no other words passed between them, but for the first time since her father had taken his last breath, she allowed herself to feel it without guilt. Just for a moment. Just here. Just with him.

Tuesday, January 29, 1974
The Great Hall
End of Dinner

"Did Benji tell you what I caught him doing Saturday night?" Amusement played across her features as the librarian sipped from her teacup and gave the slightest roll of her eyes. "For a boy that's trying his hardest to behave himself, he finally had a slip-up. I caught him inside the entrance hall after curfew just wandering around. The moment he saw me, he ran." Julia couldn't help it but she laughed, setting down her teacup. "I have to admit I wasn't expecting it. And I didn't want to hex him! He's still recovering."

She sighed and groaned slightly, grimacing at the memory, "I chased that boy halfway to the lake before he tripped and I caught him. So he has an extra detention with me this week. He'll be polishing the bookcases by hand."

Julia glanced out across the Great Hall that was now nearly empty save for a few stragglers here and there. Since returning after her father's passing she and Nabih sat near one another for dinner more often than not, remaining professional and casual, but sharing glances and quiet banter meant for only them. To any outsiders they would appear to be good friends.

"What is it with you and that boy, anyway?" she asked, her light honey-brown eyes smiling into his gorgeous dark. "You don't show any other student the amount of attention or care you do him." She watched him curiously, reaching for the teapot again to refill her cup, obviously in no hurry to go anywhere.

"And he absolutely adores you, if you haven't noticed."

[Nabih Al-Azma]

"Stay with me,"

He was right there, not going anywhere. He would always stay with her. Always. Nabih held her shaking body close his own calm one, heard her sobs and wished that there was anything he could do to make it better. There wasn't, so next the best thing was to just be here and let her feel everything she needed to feel.

They had all the time in the world.

Tuesday, January 29, 1974
The Great Hall
End of Dinner

Nabih had finished eating a little while ago and now just sat back and watched the few students still eating. Julia was next to him, as they did more often than not these days. He had not really thought it would work like this, but he enjoyed their little conversations at dinner. It depended of course on who else was sitting with them. If Barlowe was there as well, Nabih usually was a lot more quiet although not unfriendly with either one of them.

"He did not tell me, but it does explain why he was so tired for his training on Sunday." It did not really surprise him that Benji was still roaming around after curfew. With Nael as prefect for Hufflepuff the younger boy had it even more easy now. His son was just as bad if not worse when it came to going out when it was actually time for bed. "You actually chased him?" Nabih had to chuckle, disguised in a cough, upon hearing this. All that running just because she didn't want to hex him? Wasn't the kid lucky?

He turned his face to her, catching her eyes in his, and she could see how truly amused he was by this. It was too bad Benji had not told him about it. Probably didn't want another detention on top of polishing stuff for Julia. "We started out rough, but he's grown on me. He's a good kid, with massive potential and shit for parents. Initially all I planned was to set him straight, so he could thrive and grow into his potential. Instead of hating me for it like everyone else does, he now adores me, as you just put it." Nabih was well aware of this. Every since the father's day gifts, he knew that Benji saw him not just as a Professor but as a parent of some sort. A parent he had never had. "He's also good for Nael. In some ways. Not so much in others. I think they are both smoking now." He shook his head, thinking about it. If he caught them, they were dead.

Enough with these boys who only caused trouble for themselves and the people around them. "Has your sister in law given birth yet? The baby is due soon, isn't it?" Nabih had not actually kept count, but Julia had mentioned her being in the final weeks of pregnancy, and surely Julia would want to go and see the baby.