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Author Topic: An Awkward Morning After [Ra'as]  (Read 596 times)

Payton Rose

    (12/24/2014 at 03:19)
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The day after the party...




Maybe it was a foolish idea and maybe she was looking too far into it but Payton was determined to talk to Ra'asiel. She and Grant hadn't spoken since that night and now, especially after that kiss, it looked as though they would never speak again. She needed to know that Ra'asiel and her were alright though...that it wouldn't make things awkward or strange for them.

And she needed to reassure her friend.

Grant and Ra'as didn't have the best history, family-wise. Payton had known, before leaning in to take that kiss, that Grant would hate him for it...possibly her too. But the last thing she wanted was to cause more issues for Ra'asiel, after they'd become such good friends too...she needed to make sure he was alright.

Payton seemed to be developing a pathological need to make sure she wasn't negatively affecting the lives of those around her. Ever since Blake had come to be, Payton was fearful of being detrimental to someone; she blamed much of her aunt's condition on herself, though there was little she could have done.

And now she'd been a terrible person to Grant.

Ra'asiel was a good friend and a good person; the last thing Payton wanted to do was hurt him. Or make him uncomfortable. The kiss had been pleasant, comforting...but nothing next to the fire Grant stirred in her when they kissed. She liked Ra'asiel, but in much the same way she liked Oliver and Edmund; they were like her family. Grant was the other half of her soul.

"Ra'as? Can we...can we talk?" She forced the words out before she could talk herself out of a discussion.


Raasiel Albear

    (12/26/2014 at 05:21)
Ra'asiel was cold.

The morning had started with him fulfilling his end of the bargain that had led to that party; walking the plank. At least he was allowed to do so clothed. Anything less than that, and he would have been far more surly and easily spooked today. That was lucky for everyone, it seemed.

"Ra'as? Can we...can we talk?"

He hadn't expected a visit from Payton, though hearing her voice wasn't unwelcome. At least it was her and not Grant; that was a discussion that he just wasn't prepared for. He could only imagine that the older boy would punch him for kissing his girlfriend - Ra'asiel being entirely unaware that the two had broken up, of course.

"Payton," he greeted with a small smile, a soft flush coming to his cheeks. "Certainly. Is everything alright?"

He had a feeling that she wanted to talk about the party - about their kiss - but he wasn't entirely sure what specifically was on her mind. Had she hated it? Liked it too much? Figured out that he hadn't been as into the kiss as a boy his age should have been? Was she onto him?

There were only so many possibilities, only so many directions that this could go. He could only hope that she was here for good reasons - but not too good of reasons; Ra'asiel wasn't interested in her like that, and he had no idea how to turn her down if that was what it was. He made a mental note to talk to Azrael about girls sometime soon.

Payton Rose

    (12/29/2014 at 06:30)
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Payton chewed on her lower lip, hovering in the doorway to the cabin Ra'asiel was staying in. Her fingers curled nervously in the edge of her shirt, trembling ever so slightly as she ducked her head. Long strands of black hair fell forward to cover her eyes and she had instantly reverted back to first year status: avoiding gazes, averting eyes, staying unnoticed.

Except she and Ra'as were the only ones here.

And he was already her friend.

The counselor took a breath. In. Out. She could do this. Ra'asiel had been kind to her, a good friend, a good person...it was just a discussion...a chat between friends. She felt stupid and foolish that she had to keep reminding herself of that, but she was very close to having a panic attack and Grant wasn't speaking to her and she was breaking and....

Calm down.

Another breath and she stepped in, closing the door behind her; she didn't need anyone else to witness this conversation.

"Payton. Certainly. Is everything alright?"

"I...yes. No...wait. I'm not...entirely sure." Payton flushed and sighed, moving to sit next to her friend. "I need to...that kiss...I mean..." She hadn't meant to just blurt it out like that and she blushed deeper. "I...we're friends yeah? I mean...just friends. You are...I mean...handsome..." Oh Merlin she was terrible at this.

She swept her hair back. "I'm in love with Grant and he hates me now." She blurted in one very quick, very hard to understand breath, her blue eyes widening. Then she started to babble, nerves taking over. "I mean, hate is a strong word but we haven't spoken since that fight a week or so before summer started and I wasn't expecting to see him so soon or at camp. And I mean, I wasn't going to play but then I got swept up and the bottle landed on you and, I mean you're attractive and Merlin knows I should probably have a crush on you but...I can tell you are..." She tilted her head slightly, "...different and I'm just so far gone on Grant and..."

She stopped and buried her face in her hands with a choked breath.


Raasiel Albear

    (01/03/2015 at 21:42)
Payton shut the door and sat with him, and Ra'asiel couldn't help but notice that she seemed distressed. Her first attempt at an answer certainly seemed to confirm it to him.

"I...we're friends yeah?"

"Of course we are-"

"I mean...just friends. You are...I mean...handsome..."

He blushed, surprised by her use of the word. He'd been called all sorts of things before, but 'handsome' was rarely one of them. Pretty, 'cute' once by Zeke, etc. But handsome? It was a pleasant surprise, but one that sill put him a little on edge. Where was this going..?

"I'm in love with Grant and he hates me now."

Ra'asiel frowned, putting his nerves aside to listen to his friend with concern. He hadn't even known that they'd had a fight, though, which made him wonder if he was as good of a friend as he'd once thought. She needed a friend, and he knew that; he would do his best for her in spite of his insecurities.

"...and the bottle landed on you and, I mean you're attractive and Merlin knows I should probably have a crush on you but...I can tell you are...different and I'm just so far gone on Grant and..."

Of all of the things Payton could have said, it was that last but that threw him for a loop. A girl thought he was attractive, that she should probably have a crush on him - funny, since he'd thought the same thing when they'd kissed. What really startled him, though, was one word.

Different.

She knew? He was grateful she'd put her face in her hands, because for a brief moment, panic had struck him and he had no idea what sort of face he'd made. She knew? Like a flash of lightning, several worries hit him all at once before he could recompose himself; did she know about Zeke? Or Foster? He'd been so discreet... Would she tell anyone? How much did she know?

He shook his head, biting his lip, as he reached out to put an arm around her and give her a hug. No, right now he couldn't think about himself; he had to think about Payton. After all, she'd come to him with this problem, and he wanted her to be okay. He wanted to ease her concerns.

"It'll be alright, Payton," he said, searching for the right words. He wasn't very good at this sort of thing, but he was going to try. What was it Azrael did when Ra'asiel was upset? The petite boy rubbed her back gently as he hugged her. "Don't feel like you owe me anything just because we kissed during a game. You're my friend, and that makes me incredibly lucky."

He could help her without confirming or denying anything improper about himself.

"Can you tell me what happened with Grant? I'd like to help if I can."

Payton Rose

    (01/07/2015 at 03:02)
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This was new for her, this whole 'opening up' thing.

Sure in the past she'd discussed her issues with friends and she'd sure opened up to Grant, but broaching a topic that made her so uncomfortable with someone she was so desperate to keep as a friend. After all, she'd lost many friends by making them uncomfortable. She twisted her fingers in her clothing and chanced a glance up.

Ra'asiel was a good person and...despite what she thought she knew about him, she cared about him a lot. Payton was open-minded and accepting (she liked to think so anyway) and she didn't care if he was different...if his eyes wandered in the opposite direction than what was expected. Maybe other people would but she didn't.

But that wasn't what she was afraid of.

"It'll be alright, Payton. Don't feel like you owe me anything just because we kissed during a game. You're my friend, and that makes me incredibly lucky."

And then he was hugging her, hands soothing down her back and she pressed her forehead to his shoulder. Generally, she would shy away from any sort of touch, but her own worries were soothed by his desire to comfort her. Empathy made human contact difficult but even though she felt his prickling of fear, the uncertainty and anxiousness...she was soothed by the fact that he was trying...that he was worried about her.

She laughed softly and pulled back, smiling at him and tugging fondly on his hair.

"You're too nice Ra'as." She informed him softly, breath catching.

"Can you tell me what happened with Grant? I'd like to help if I can."

She sighed, wiping at her face where tears had started to form. "It's not...really anything that can be helped." She said softly, a helpless note in her voice that even she winced at. She loved Grant, but they were both stubborn people and that kiss probably made everything worth.

She was glad Ra'asiel didn't hate her though.

"We fought before the end of the year and...and we haven't spoken since then." She admitted, biting her lower lip. "It was...he wants to go into the army and I...I overreacted. I'm worried about losing him." She sighed and raked a hand through her hair, reaching for Ra'asiel's hand to squeeze it gently. "I went about it all wrong and we argued and I miss him so much."

Blue eyes peeked up through her hair, "And kissing you made it worse."

She hadn't told Ra'asiel about her empathy but she figured she might have to if he became curious. How could she know it had made things worse? Because the white hot spike of Grant jealousy sat like a stone in the back of her head, eating away at her guilt.


Raasiel Albear

    (01/07/2015 at 11:40)
Payton laughed, and Ra'asiel felt himself smile a bit more. Was she feeling better? Unlike Payton, the long-haired boy had no ability to feel another's emotions, and unfortunately for him, his experience with judging the emotions of others came from his hyper-vigilance around his father, but was limited in some ways.

"You're too nice Ra'as."

His smile became a grin, even though she pulled away, and he shrugged a little bit, taking it as the compliment it was meant as. He liked to think that he was different from his family, or at least from the older generation. He wasn't an elitist, nor a purist. Being 'nice' was just part of that.

"It's not...really anything that can be helped."

Maybe just talking about it would help? He could only wonder, as it wasn't a method he himself often used.

"We fought before the end of the year and...and we haven't spoken since then. It was...he wants to go into the army and I...I overreacted. I'm worried about losing him. I went about it all wrong and we argued and I miss him so much."

Ra'asiel squeezed her hand back gently when she took his in hers, hoping to comfort her a little more through the gesture. He had tipped his head thoughtfully, taking in the words, thinking them over one idea at a time. He could understand her concern, though.

"And kissing you made it worse."

"My brother, Michael, is in the army," he said gently. He didn't often talk about his family, as they were usually a source of anxiety for him. Still, even with his worry, there was a soft spot for his brothers there. He loved them, even if he wasn't allowed to express it as he wanted to. "Every day, I worry about him. I wonder if he's safe, if he's eating well, if he's staying out of trouble. It's maddening sometimes, especially when I read the papers and learn what's going on out there..."

He cleared his throat, trying not to think too hard about it. Michael bullied him, but he was still his brother, his flesh and blood.

"But, he's there because our father wished it, not because he did," Ra'asiel went on. "I know it's hard to think about, but at least Grant will be doing it because he wants to. He won't be drafted against his will, and no one is forcing him to go. I'm not saying that you have to like it - by all means, hate it - but I think the important thing is that you respect the fact that it's his choice to make. If you can do that, I think it might help, kiss or no kiss. Does that make sense?"

He spoke from a place of choicelessness, being himself someone who had no say in much of his life outside of school. He knew what it felt like to just want a say in the matter, and to have a choice in his actions at Hogwarts was... incredible. A blessing. He controlled every aspect of his life outside of the school's rules, and he could not help but cling to it like a survivor to a life raft. He only hoped she understood... could only hope that he hadn't upset her by being so frank.

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