Hogwarts School - Summer

Archives => Summer of ... => 1955 => Topic started by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/08/2018 at 17:58

Title: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/08/2018 at 17:58
an hour or so after lunch
saturday 2 july 1955
glasswater creek


He'd found her walking out of the dining hall towards the tail-end of lunch, and, after several minutes of their usual back and forth -- he insisting and she resisting -- Jeremiah had managed to finally persuade her to come to the creek with him instead.

They'd settled together on the small stretch of beach over an hour ago, and were still here now. It had taken him this long to work up to what he really wanted to discuss.

"So."

A beat.

"You have fun last night?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/08/2018 at 18:06
She was eating a peach this time -- she had had two apples for lunch, and a change of fruit seemed necessary -- besides, a peach was more fitting for a summer afternoon. As he asked, Camilla remained silent for a few moments, simply chewing a piece of peach before she eventually shrugged.

"It was okay I guess."

(Stupid, because it was a stupid idea and a stupid game, but okay still).
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/08/2018 at 18:34
"Just okay?"

Brown eyes searched out blue, failed to catch them, and then broke away again to watch the waves instead.

"Looked like you was havin' fun to me."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/08/2018 at 21:38
He was looking at her, but she was too busy analyzing the piece of fruit on her hand to notice that.

"Why?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/09/2018 at 18:10
"Oh, c'mon, you damn well know you kissed him back."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/09/2018 at 18:53
The Ravenclaw almost asked who was he talking about, but whatever had happened with Aiden could certainly not be labelled as a kiss thanks to the graceful meddling of Brooklyn Jones. However, while she did know who was he talking about, she could not quite understand why.

"So? It was just a game."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/09/2018 at 20:26
"So, nothin'."

So, everything.

"I was just tryna have a conversation. Jesus."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/09/2018 at 21:25
"Bullshit."

Most of the times, she enjoyed Jeremiah Smallweed's intricate complexity; when she could not quite understand him however, she didn't like it as much.

"So what if i kissed him back?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/09/2018 at 22:21
Everything was bullshit with her nowadays, it seemed. This was bullshit, he was bullshit, they were bullshit. Sometimes, he wondered why either of them even bothered.

"Nothin', I said."

It wasn't nothing. He knew it wasn't, she knew it wasn't. He knew that she knew it wasn't, and she knew that he knew it wasn't.

"Seventy, maybe even eighty, percent of the time, you push me away. But yeah, sure, you ain't got no problem kissin' him back."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/09/2018 at 22:31
It was bullshit.

"Jeremiah, the game literally consisted on kissing people." She did not know how that kiss with Calvin Sharppe that had lasted for three or four second at most was related to them, to their us that was not quite an us.

"You are just being stupid now."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/10/2018 at 18:18
He ignored her latter comment, because calling him stupid seemed to be Camilla's default option whenever things didn't go her way. The word had long ago ceased to hold any real meaning for him.

"Oh, so when it's a game, it's fine, but it's when it's actually somethin' real, that's too much for ya. Is that it? Did I get that right?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/10/2018 at 20:54
She knew that she was not good at showing that she cared, she had never been, and probably would never be. She knew too that some people did not quite understand how was that possible, always claiming that she simply did not care at all.

And maybe Jeremiah Smallweed did not ask for too much, but for her, it was.

Frowning, the girl looked down at the peach on her hands, then muttered. "I never said it was too much."

 

Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/10/2018 at 21:34
"You don't gotta say it, Camilla. You make it obvious without ever needin' to say a single bloody word."

He wished that she would look at him. She didn't.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/10/2018 at 22:02
"I just-" Eventually, blue eyes ceased analyzing the half eaten fruit and sought for his own: as always, they looked too blue, too clear, too confused. She shrugged as her free hand fiddled with the hem of her white dress. "I don't think it's too much."

It was enough.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/11/2018 at 17:16
"No?"

She was looking at him, finally. He shifted a little closer.

"Then what do you think?"

He didn't know what she thought, he never knew.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/11/2018 at 22:05
"I think,"

She was tempted to say that between Rembrandt and Vermeer, she rather preferred the latter one. Because the truth was that while they had been sitting there, Camilla's thoughts had been partially busy pondering that matter. And in her opinion, her internal debate concerning Dutch painters was more relevant than a conversation about a stupid game and a stupid kiss; but for once, she said nothing.

"that it's not too much for me, it's enough."

For him though, it probably wasn't.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/11/2018 at 23:43
To him, it didn't feel like enough. He couldn't tell whether that was his fault or hers or both of theirs, for wanting more, for wanting less, for not knowing what they wanted at all.

"Just enough? You never feel like you want somethin' more?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/12/2018 at 22:45
"Like what?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/15/2018 at 00:01
"You know what, Camilla."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/15/2018 at 14:02
She didn’t know what, even if according to him she did. Most people considered she knew too much, when it involved Jeremiah Smallweed though, she never knew enough.

“And do you never feel like you want less?”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/15/2018 at 22:24
He would have laughed if he hadn't realised, catching her eye just in time, that she was serious.

"Christ, no." The smile that had begun to tug at the corner of his mouth faded. "There ain't nobody what ever wanted less, Camilla."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/15/2018 at 23:47
She looked down at the peach on her hand, once again breaking eye-contact with him. Camilla was all too tempted to call him stupid again, and after exactly five seconds of deliberation, she didn’t.

And when she spoke, it was only a whisper.

“That’s not what I meant.”

(Not that kind of less. Less as in just one, not two.)
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/16/2018 at 00:02
Oh.

Something sunk inside his chest as understanding dawned. And as her gaze broke from his, his broke from hers, shifting to fix on the sand by his feet.

"Last summer, you said it don't bother you." It fell not quite in a whisper like her words had, but still quietly enough to mark a change. "Was that a lie, or what?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/16/2018 at 00:21
“I never lie, you idiot.”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/17/2018 at 21:10
"Right."

Forcing a laugh, he leaned in towards her. A kiss -- half of one, really, if even that -- brushed her cheek, in lieu of an answer he'd never given.

Jeremiah stood, "I gotta run. Catch ya later."

nearing curfew
monday 4 july 1955
on a bench at the lamp post



He couldn't shake Pilar's words, despite the fact that he knew (hoped?) they weren't true anymore.

In the flickering half-light of what was left of the bonfire, Jeremiah Smallweed pulled back from kissing Camilla Carstairs.

"You ever wish we was just friends?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/20/2018 at 15:19
For once, Camilla Carstairs was not the one who ruined the kiss.

"Why? If that's your way of saying that I'm a bad kisser, then you're an idiot."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/20/2018 at 23:04
"What? No, I--Jesus, no. I don't think that, I didn't mean it like that."

How he did mean it was like this: that he was half-afraid that Pilar Reina was right; that Camilla was going to wake up one day and decide that she wanted more (or, realistically, less) than what he wanted to give her.

It was difficult to put into words, but he tried, anyway.

"I meant, like, how you're always sayin' we're just friends. Is that what you want? Instead of this?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/20/2018 at 23:28
"We are friends," As she spoke, a conversation that she had had with Ella Galanis months ago already stirred in the back of her mind. "and we kiss, and that's what I want,"  They had talked about this before, too many times actually, and they usually ended with him leaving or her telling him how stupid he was.

"The us that's not quite an us." Just you and I. "Why are you asking?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/22/2018 at 13:46
If it had been any other time, he might have argued that no, they were not friends (or, at least, not just friends), and everything would have spiralled into yet another of their arguments -- or, technically, into a continuation of that same argument that they always had and never finished.

Tonight, though, he let it slide.

"Yeah," he settled on after a beat too long, "S'what I want, too." Really, he wanted a little more than this, but, again, that was a conversation for another evening.

"Someone said I was like--I dunno." His gaze shifted away from hers towards the glowing embers. "That I use people for what I want, but I don't care what they want. I don't wanna be like that with you."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 12:03
"Whoever said that must be stupid, then." The hand that until that moment had been lingering on his shoulder slipped away, and as his gaze shifted, light blue eyes continued looking at him. "You do care about what do they want," They, like Virtue Hir.

Eventually, her gaze dropped to the hem of her dress, shrugging softly as she spoke.

"...the only problem is that you want too much."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/23/2018 at 12:18
He didn't like the way she said they, like it didn't include her, too.

"I can't help what I want. I know it's too much for you, and that's fine, I get it." He didn't get it, not properly, but he tried to, at least, which was all he could do.

"But I ain't gonna lie and pretend like I want less."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 12:31
"You're the one who stopped kissing me today so," For once, it had been him and not her. For once, she had not pushed him away and called him stupid. For once, he had been the one who had wanted less.

"...it's your fault."

(She omitted the part where she said that, if they had continued kissing, she would have pushed him away in the blink of an eye).
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/23/2018 at 12:46
"My fault?"

He hadn't stopped because he'd wanted to, he'd stopped because he'd wanted to be certain that this was what she wanted, too. He'd stopped then, and not waited a little longer, because he'd known that if he hadn't stopped, she would have, and his question would have felt too defensive. 

"Another minute and you would've shoved me off like you always do, you know you would've. All I bloody wanted was to make sure you still want this."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 12:51
Camilla Carstairs didn't lie, even when the truth was not something she wanted to admit, even when avoiding it with a simple white lie would have been astoundingly easy.

"I know."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/23/2018 at 13:13
Whenever he felt like they were getting somewhere, she always went and ruined it. Tonight, apparently, was no exception.

“Any point in me tryna kiss you again, or we gonna call it a night?”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 13:20
"I guess you can just leave" with her, she almost added, but instead Camilla simply reached into her dress' pocket and grabbed a handful of grapes.

That night, she did not even offer him one.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/23/2018 at 13:27
“Camilla.” He caught her by the wrist, half-pleading, “Tell me what you want me to do.”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 13:35
Jeremiah Smallweed was stupid.

"I literally told you less than thirty seconds ago," She tossed a grape into her mouth, then added. "You can just leave, and I'll just eat these grapes."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/23/2018 at 13:47
“And that’s what you want, yeah?”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 13:49
Maybe.

Maybe not.

"Obviously."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/23/2018 at 15:08
"Fine. See ya tomorrow."

His fingers dropped from where they held her, and he stood.

In a mutter under his breath, as he walked away, "Jesus."

past curfew
saturday 30 july 1955
the library, cair paravel



What he'd been hoping for was an empty library, so that he could read in peace instead of patrolling the dark corridors. What he got was a library that was almost empty -- save for Camilla Carstairs sitting on a sofa towards the far end of the room, a book open in her lap.

Jeremiah Smallweed waited until he had already dropped into the space beside her before he spoke. "You're up late."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/23/2018 at 17:13
Camilla Carstairs wasn't asleep, nor she was truly wide awake. As she heard footsteps, she ignored them -- two closed eyes no longer hidden  behind her brand new, Spanish copy of Bohemian Lights, that now simply lay on her lap, opened on the wrong page.

And, as he spoke, she ignored him for at least ten seconds.

Then she spoke, softly. "I was trying to fall asleep, until you came."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/24/2018 at 17:22
One arm wrapped itself around her shoulders and pulled her closer until she was leaning into his side, and he into hers, until they were leaning into each other.

There was the faintest trace of a smile in his voice when he answered, "You know this ain't your cabin, right?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/25/2018 at 00:02
As he pulled her closer, the book on her lap slipped away, eventually falling to the floor - she did not try to stop it.

“Obviously, I’m not stupid.”

(A smile).
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/26/2018 at 10:47
He almost reached to catch the volume as it fell in a flurry of pages, but changed his mind before he leaned too far forward. Instead, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

“Obviously.”

His own book still lay closed on the seat beside him, abandoned since he’d found Camilla. With his free hand, Jeremiah began to flick through its pages. “Stay with me a bit.”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/26/2018 at 13:43
The kiss he pressed to the top of her head was strangely gentle, that other version of Jeremiah Smallweed, the one that did not make her feel like she wasn't enough.

"Okay,"

Just as softly as that single word had been spoken, Camilla leaned her head on his shoulder before she added "I was not going to move, anyway."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/26/2018 at 16:00
“Good.”

He didn’t ask her whether she wanted to hear a poem, for he knew already that she did.

His fingers continued to rifle through the book, apparently in search of something, then stilled on an open page (https://m.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/lullaby-0). After a beat, Jeremiah began, “Lay your sleepin’ head, my love, Human on my faithless arm...”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/27/2018 at 17:55
By the time he began reading the poem, her eyes were already closed.

This time, instead of watching the way his lips moved as he recited the poem, or the way he fixed his eyes on the book -- she focused on his voice, her head close to his as she pressed herself even closer to him, one hand came to rest on his knee, the other still laying on the sofa.

Jeremiah Smallweed seemed softer when he read poetry, spoke softer, felt softer, even the arm wrapped around her shoulders seemed to be touching her more softly.

It was different.

(It was enough.)
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/27/2018 at 22:22
He read for a while, continuing to turn pages and start new poems long past the point when her breathing slowed with sleep.

He read until he found his own eyes closing; until the breaths he drew began, slowly but surely, to match hers in length; until his fingers stilled on a half-read poem that he never quite finished, and slipped from the book to his side.

several hours later
it's sunday 31 july 1955 now
we're still in the library, though



When he woke, all was dark and unfamiliar.

This was not his bed and not his cabin. This was not Virtue Hir with whom he was currently caught up in and with, but someone smaller, sharper; not almonds, but apples.

His arm, pinned between the sofa cushion and Camilla Carstairs, was numb, but he didn't want to move, fearing that if he did, she would wake and this -- their closeness, the way in which she curled into him with an intimacy that she never usually let herself share -- would be lost.

Instead of trying to disentangle himself, then, Jeremiah simply shifted closer in towards her and let sleep take over once more.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/28/2018 at 23:40
When she woke, it took her exactly nine seconds to remember where she was.

Blue eyes found Jeremiah asleep next to her, her head still resting on his arm -- and she almost moved, for she could imagine that his arm ought to be numb by that point, but she did not want to wake him up, not yet.

(In the darkness, with his eyes closed, with his arm around her shoulders, Jeremiah Smallweed looked more tender, more gentle.)

Camilla closed her eyes, just a few moments later, she was deep asleep again.


around 8:00am
sunday 31 july 1955
the library



Her neck ached, her legs (that at some point she had slung over his) felt numb, and so did her left arm, that rested on the sofa on a rather uncomfortable position. Slowly, she stirred, gently, she nudged his shoulder.

"Jeremiah,"

(She did not want to wake him up, but she had to.)

"Are you awake?"
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 12/29/2018 at 17:10
He was awake, but he didn't want to be.

Cracking one eye open and squinting against the sun that streamed through the windows into the room, he leant closer into her.

"No."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 12/29/2018 at 23:58
She put one hand on his chest, softly trying to push him away as he leant closer. Opening her eyes, Camilla regarded him in silence, only for a few moments, before she spoke.

“Of course you are.” She shifted, allowing him to remove the arm she had trapped with her neck during the night. “Come on, move.”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 01/01/2019 at 11:47
Instead of rolling away from her, he stayed put.

The arm that had been caught beneath her head curled around her shoulders once again to draw her back in towards him. “Why, you got somewhere else to be?”
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 01/01/2019 at 22:52
The hand remained pressed on his chest, however, this time she did not attempt to push him away.

Rather than somewhere, there was a something. "Well, I want an apple."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 01/03/2019 at 21:27
Forget the apple, he almost said, but didn't.

Instead, "Stay a bit longer with me."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 01/06/2019 at 19:18
Camilla said nothing, she simply stayed.

10:45pm
friday 19 august 1955
the library, cair paravel



What she'd been hoping for was an almost empty library, and that's what she found. He was there, sitting on a sofa that may or may not be the same in which they had fallen asleep a few weeks ago. And just as he had done that day, she quietly occupied the space next to him, handed him the book she had been carrying around all day, and then spoke.

"One poem," The Raveclaw momentarily looked down at the book, the name Federico García Lorca displayed on the hardcover, "that's your birthday present."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 01/06/2019 at 23:42
"Yeah, alright." He fought back a smile. "I'll take one poem."

It was one more than he'd been expecting.

He held the book back out to her. "C'mon, then."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 01/08/2019 at 14:09
She opened the book on a page marked by a piece of parchment, written on it on a small, rushed handwriting there was a poem (https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/find-kiss-yours), the English translation of the one written on that page. The translation was not as skillfully written, as delicate, as soft -- yet, it was the best thing she had managed to come up with in just a few minutes.

Momentarily forgetting about the piece of parchment, she focused on the book instead.

"Por encontrar un beso tuyo, ¿qué daría yo?" As she read, she softened -- eyes more gentle, words sounded softer, more musical. Rather than the poem, perhaps his birthday present was a glimpse of the less hard and not as complicated side of Camilla Carstairs Aguilar.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 01/09/2019 at 17:57
She read.

He watched not the poem, printed for his benefit on the page, but her: the way the words rolled from her tongue, syllables hushed and so much softer than anything she ever said to him; the way her eyes, always so critical and so judging, melted into pools of deeper blue; the way she was, the same girl he'd always known, but different, too.

No, not different, but enough.

I love you, he could have said then, and it wouldn't have been a lie.

He didn't say it, he only looked at her.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 01/09/2019 at 21:42
He was watching her; but he shouldn't be watching her, he should be reading.

"You idiot," The words were harsh, as always, the lingering tone behind them however, still remained wrapped in that softness in which she had so gently recited the poem only a few heartbeats ago. "If you don't read this," Her index landed on the piece of parchment. "how are you supposed to understand what does it mean?"

Truly, the words did not quite matter, for he would be able to deduce what was she trying to say with it.

I like you, she could have said then, but he probably knew that already.
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Jeremiah Smallweed on 01/10/2019 at 00:01
"The words ain't important."

Or, if they were, then they weren't as important.

He pulled the parchment out from beneath her finger, anyway. Still, he didn't look at it, but instead folded it in half, then half again, and slipped it into the pocket of his jeans.

He would read them, finally, later that evening, alone in his cabin before Virtue arrived, and a part of him would wish that he'd said those three words he kept to himself now.

"S'you readin' it what matters."
Title: Re: real peach || smallstairs snaps
Post by: Camilla Carstairs on 01/13/2019 at 14:07
It was stupid.

“That’s stupid, the words are important, obviously.” The words did matter, they way the flowed so smoothly, verses skillfully chained with each other, creating something bigger than just words.

A new meaning. Nor better, nor worse - enough.

Still, she closed the book, putting it to the side and turning so she was facing him. Legs crossed, one arm resting on the sofa’s headrest, a hand lingering on his shoulder.

As her thumb brushed his cheek she thought that perhaps he was right, maybe the words were not as important. And, as she leaned in to kiss him she reached the conclusion that no, he wasn’t right, as always.

Obviously.

fin