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Author Topic: Maai Guildenn (Finished)  (Read 504 times)

Maai Guildenn

    (26/04/2014 at 21:58)
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Application for Hogwarts School

Name: Maaiyu Guildenn

March 31st



Magical Strength (pick one):

Magical Weakness (pick one):

Year (pick two):
Sixth or Seventh

Born in Cardiff to a pure-blood witch and wizard, Mitsuki and Vaaine Guildenn, of Far-Eastern and Anglo Saxon descent, Maai was raised in high hopes for greatness. Her parents, both respectable persons of their time in Hogwarts--ironically of Gryffindor and Slytherin houses, her father belonging to the former and mother to the latter--were excited to have their first and only child, aspiring her to become a great witch, beyond even their own reach. These hopes of their's were promptly cut short during the Muggle War of the United Kingdoms, referred to as "The Troubles".

The involvement of her parents in the conflict transpired after their decision to move west. In light of her now orphaned position, Maai was then adopted by her godparents, whom also happened to be her aunt and uncle from her mother's side: the Osamerukami family. However, her uncle, now adoptive father, Kururai, was of half-blood origins; this caused contemplation over her stasis in Hogwarts, subsequent to the Time Shift nearly forty years into the past. As the events began to flow by after the change of era, the Ministry of Magic had begun to be more concerned with Muggle-born wizards and witches, as was apparent with the new census. The reason for complications arising was that on paper, Maai's father, previously her uncle, was listed as a half-blood, rendering Maai to be 1/4th muggle. Of course, her past before adoption arose in further search, and she was then known officially as a Pure-Blood. Her fellow wizards students weren't so accepting.

Addressing her uncle as her father, it would seem that the students of Hogwarts would see her for calling a half-blood father, as opposed to being of actual pure-blood lineage. Naturally, much ridicule followed, and Maai's social-life then became quite the mess. Friends had become something luxurious, as those who would associate with a half-blood or muggle-born might be considered just as lowly. Maai's views on this matter were quite opposing, however.

Over the course of her years spent in Hogwarts, the girl aspired to present superiority, determined to let others know her by her talents, achievements and actual self, as opposed to her adoptive status. Such ambitions were met with the desired response, especially when her more aggressive approach had been taken into account, what with her affinity towards dueling and more physical activities.

What she has achieved during her years in Hogwarts has acquired her the abolishing of her once being known as "Daughter of a Half-Blood", and instead as a respected upperclassman to many, and overall a well-accomplished student in her own right.

Note: This section is optional, and is up to you to complete.

House Request:



P.S. --I don't know who James is, but since this is an RP Sample, thus not affecting anything IC, I'm going to go ahead and put the following relations in place, just for this sample.

Option 1
Maai's face presented certain surprise--her mouth, gaping wide; her eyes, as far open as possible. In sequence, a brief pause went by as her mouth held its expression before she finally regained her composure, face and mind alike.

Her face began to grow a few wrinkles, just above the bridge of her nose as her face showed a furrowed brow. Her eyes squinted a bit as the girl stared directly into the boy before her, sitting down with his head turned about. Her mouth returned to its opened state, but no words came out. Maai's intentions were to verbally 'teach her underclassman a lesson' to say the least, but she held her tongue--reason being?

This topic was tightly kept close to herself as no adolescent of any gender would desire such an outcome, but it was an existing topic nonetheless. It was apparent to Maai that the object of desire--or rather, person of her desire--was quite likely to be present in this room. She wouldn't say she had fallen in love with him, necessarily, but Maai had held quite the affectionate feeling for a certain boy in quidditch; for a moment, her thoughts even wandered into wondering where he was. In fact, that was her reason for coming here in the first place, and the subsequent event was as it was now.

As opposed to comforting her crush as she had planned--as most everyone saw the total flop of failure that was the game--Maai had been ambushed by James with his screams, peaking her tolerance for belligerent fools. But, peak was all that it had done. It did not exceed thus prompting her to retaliate in kind, it simply peaked.

Her maturity held, and before long Maai's mouth had returned to a shut status as she simply walked off, trying to forget about what had just happened and move on to finding her "beloved".


Previous Characters (if applicable):N/A

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« Last Edit: 28/04/2014 at 21:36 by Maai Guildenn »

B. Llewellyn Thatcher

    (27/04/2014 at 02:22)
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Hello and welcome to HS.net! We're so glad to have you here!

Maai's background is written beautifully and seems to have been well thought out! She is a very interesting character, and I cannot wait to see how you play her out around the site.

That being said, the only thing that needs to be addressed is your roleplay (RP) sample. While you have definitely taken a twist with it that we've never seen before, I am going to ask that you take another look at it.

The instructions of the RP sample state: "You come across one of these posts on the site. Please select one & reply as your character." More than likely this post is the start of an open thread in which anyone can join. While it's interesting that you took this on from the stand point that James is your brother, this would not be the case. I do understand that this is a sample, but we are looking to see how your character would respond if this was truly an 'open thread' at the castle. Unfortunately, I think that creating a relationship that wouldn't exist is taking too much of a creative liberty with the sample.

If you could just rework your RP sample, we would be more than glad to take another look at your application! Just repost it below when you are finished and we'll take that second look!

Thanks so much!

- B.

Maai Guildenn

    (28/04/2014 at 21:55)
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Re-Completion Bump; I still took a bit of liberty with the situation, but it seems to still retain viability in terms of treating the RP Sample as a response to an open thread... I think.

B. Llewellyn Thatcher

    (29/04/2014 at 02:43)
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Thank you for taking another look at your RP response! This one is much closer to what we are looking for! That being said, two quick things.

Her eyes squinted a bit as the girl stared directly into the boy before her, sitting down with his head turned about.

Though slight, this could be considered a form of powerplaying. The last thing James does is stand up from the table in the Great Hall and storm off into the hallway. It doesn't say if he sat down or went into a classroom or anything, so the best thing to do is assume that he is still standing in the hallway when your character address him.

Also, at the end, you are very clear that Maai walked away from James. Unfortunately, this doesn't leave much room for James to react and would end the thread rather quickly. With any thread (though there are exceptions), we like to see it at least carried out to three posts per player. Perhaps instead of saying that Maai walked away you could say that she turned to walk away (clearly leaves the ability for James to say something like "Hey, wait!").

If you wouldn't mind taking another look at it and let us know when you've done so, we'd love to take another look too!

- B.
I was here, but now I'm gone.
I'm gone.
♪ ♫ ♩ ♬