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Messages - Aries Paladin

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21
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: Riley Logan |Elsewhere Adult
« on: 16/04/2016 at 08:22 »
Accepted, darling! <3

22
Accepted, lovely! <3

23
Accepted, sweetheart. <3

24


Dear Miss Montgomery,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

25
Archived Applications / Re: Application: Alexandria Walter
« on: 14/04/2016 at 09:13 »
Hey, dear! Your application's looking super so far, but before we can accept it there are just a few details left to clarify.

Firstly, there are still a few places in your biography that say 'Riddle' instead of 'Walter', so if you could just tweak those for clarity's sake, that'd be marvelous!

Secondly, while your clarification of Alexandria's abilities is very helpful, there's still the issue of the trance that Alexandria goes into, and the "seeing into the future" part. As per our magical rules, future visions would be something that only Seers would be able to have, so if you're intending to make Alexandria's Divinatory abilities the same as a talented sixth year's, you'll need to remove the mentions of a trance and future visions from her biography. (If, however, you feel that having visions is important to her character, you may of course submit a Special Request to the administrators.)

Thirdly, in your role-play sample, you say that Alexandria thrusts the rat into Hugh’s hands. As this might be construed as powerplaying, or taking control of another character’s actions, it’d be great if you could edit it to something more like ‘Alexandria tried to thrust the rat into his hands’ or ‘thrust the rat towards the boy’, which gives Hugh’s player the option to accept or decline the furry bundle of joy.

Lastly, in your role-play sample, Alexandria walking back to the school would end the scene rather abruptly and not give Hugh much to reply to—could you please tweak it so that she stays around instead (however much she doesn’t want to)? You could just end it at trying to give him the rat, if you like.

Once you make these changes, please post the entire altered application below, and we can take another look and get you on your way.  :)


Thank you! <3

—‘ries

26
Archived Applications / Re: Application - Elise Reinharte
« on: 14/04/2016 at 08:42 »


Dear Miss Reinharte,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

27
Archived Applications / Re: Application: Henry Beachem
« on: 14/04/2016 at 08:38 »


Dear Mr. Beachem,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

28


Dear Miss Castillo,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

29
Hey Eleanor, and welcome to the site! :D Your application is simply stunning (I love how detailed your biography and personality fields are!), but before we can accept it, there's just one tweak I'd like to ask you to make.

In your biography, you say that her mother and grandmother were both Prefects during their time in school. Due to the site's long history after 15 RL years of play (a few decades IC), however, there has been a history of played Prefects, so the mention is a bit at odds with our canon—if you could just remove that bit, that'd be super.

Once you repost the application with the revised biography below, we can take another look. :)

Thank you! <3

—'ries

30
Archived Applications / Re: Zoella Mertz
« on: 10/04/2016 at 06:10 »


Dear Miss Mertz,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

31
Hey Marilyn! I love that you expanded your biography so much and answered the roleplay prompt—it's looking great. :D  Before we can get you all set up, though, there are just a few things left to clarify.

Firstly, the scene with the roof falling is a little too graphic for our site rating, as it heavily implies the death of Marilyn's mother—could you please change that part so it's a little more vague? Perhaps you could say that 'after the roof rumbled it was all a blur' and 'the next thing Marilyn knew she was laying on the grass', or something to that effect.

Also, I’m curious—why would the neighbors passing by treat this like an ordinary situation? If other houses started to catch fire, too, I’m sure they wouldn’t be very indifferent. It would be more realistic if you were to perhaps show people panicking about the fire or something of the like.

Secondly, your role-play sample is lovely, but Marilyn does not interact with Evangeline, who is the subject of the prompt. Could you please rewrite it so that Evangeline is present and Marilyn interacts with the other girl?

Also, if you could please remove the mentions of being in Gryffindor and Dumbledore, that'd be super, too. This is because your House hasn't been determined yet (though the administrators Sorting your application will certainly take your request into consideration!) and because Dumbledore and other characters from the books don't exist in this roleplay's universe.

Lastly, in magical strengths and weaknesses, you may only choose one of the four options (Transfiguration, Charms, Conjuring/Summoning, and Divination) as a strength, so if you could please change potions to one of those, that'd be great!

Once you post the edited application below, we can take another look. :)

Thank you! <3

—'ries

32
Archived Applications / Re: Connor Davies - Application
« on: 09/04/2016 at 07:24 »
Hey Connor, and welcome to HSnet! :D Your application is shaping up really well so far (love Connor's mischievous personality!), but before we can accept it, there are just a few things we'd like to clarify.

First of all, in our universe, there was a plot event called the Time Warp, which threw Wizarding Britain back into the thirties and effectively caused the Muggle relatives of Muggleborns and Halfbloods to disappear. As Connor is Muggleborn and would've been born in either '1936' (as a First Year) or '1935' (as a Second Year), this would likely mean that his birth parents disappeared with the Warp; accordingly, we have to ask that you make some changes to his story to fit the site plot. Your options are that Connor's parents, Muggles from the era, in fact adopted him as a baby (which would only minimally change your current background for him—he doesn't even have to know he's adopted!), or that he is a Muggleborn orphan (which would drastically change his story). Please decide on which path you'd prefer his story to take and edit the application for this.

Secondly, in your roleplay sample, you say that it is Connor and his friends pranking Evangeline. As it's stated that it is a few girls who are daring her, this is technically powerplaying, or taking control of characters without their consent. Could you please change the sample so that Connor is not associated with anyone—perhaps he just stumbles across Evangeline and decides to act on one of his mischievous impulses by shouting 'boo' at her?

Thirdly, you imply in your roleplay sample that Evangeline was affected by Connor's prank, which would also technically be powerplaying as it's deciding how she reacts; please remove the mention of her reaction and his own exclamation regarding it (“Ha that was brilliant, your face was hilarious!").

Lastly, you say that he heads "toward the staircase back to the nicer part of the castle". In a real roleplay thread, leaving at this point would not leave a lot for the other person to reply to and would make for a slightly abrupt ending to the scene; could you please tweak it so that Connor sticks around (even if he doesn't really want to)?

Once you've made these edits to your application, please repost it below and we can take another look. :)

Thank you! <3

—'ries

33
Archived Applications / Re: Zoella Mertz
« on: 09/04/2016 at 07:11 »
Hey Zoella, and welcome to the site! :) Your application is looking great so far, but before we can accept it, there are just one or two things to clarify.

First of all, you say that Zoelle "came to despise Trelawney" in your biography. As this site is an Alternate Universe (AU) roleplay, Sibyl Trelawney and other canon characters from the books do not exist, so such a mention is inconsistent with our universe; please remove the mention from your biography (or just edit it to say, more vaguely, 'the Divination professor').

Secondly, in your roleplay sample, you imply that Zoella is in Gryffindor. Although your request for Gryffindor will certainly be taken into consideration during the Sorting process here, your House is ultimately up to the administrators doing the Sorting, so if you could just edit your sample so that it doesn't place Zoella in any particular House (or its Common Room), that'd be super!

Thirdly, in your roleplay sample, you say that Zoella "gave her a warm smile before taking her arm". Unless you and the other player have a mutual understanding in roleplay, this might be seen as powerplaying. Could you please just tweak it so that it's "tried to take her arm" or something of the like?

Once you've altered the application for these changes and reposted it below, we can take another look and get you all set up. :)

Thank you! <3

—'ries

34
Archived Applications / Re: Skylar Addington - Application
« on: 09/04/2016 at 06:00 »
Hello, Skylar, and welcome to the site! :D Your application is looking great so far (I love how colorful Skylar's biography is!), but before we can accept it, there are just a few details we need to clarify.

First of all, in your application, you mention a female Divination professor. As all of our Professors are played out and concrete characters (our Divination Professor is currently Zedric Flair, who is also a male), this wouldn't be quite in sync with our universe, so I'd like to ask you to please remove the mentions of a female professor and her actions ("She clenched her fist and the voice of her teacher rang through her head- " oh dear- Mars and Jupiter seem to be in line today!" Then she would continue on about how much bad luck that is and pick out a new 'victim-of-the-month' who would suffer from "great peril". She would watch as the person who was apparently next in line to receive a series of unfortunate events for that month sink deep into there chair with a look of worry"). (Please note that there's no need to edit the sample to reflect that the teacher is Zedric Flair, as saying that he said or did something in particular would be powerplaying, or taking control of another character's actions without their player's permission.)

Secondly, Emma Grace Birch was a real student (who did indeed die at Hogwarts not long ago—although some characters may not know that), and the rumor would have been made up by another party. Please remove the sentences about making Emma up.

Thirdly, in your roleplay sample, Skylar thinks to herself 'And you call yourself a Gryffindor'. While you may ask to be placed in a certain House, there is no guarantee that you will be put in it, so you cannot assume that your character is in Gryffindor; please remove this fragment.

Fourthly, in your roleplay sample, you say that Skylar "sniggered and made back for the way she she had came". If this were a real roleplay, the act of leaving would not give your partner much to reply to, and rather abruptly end the scene. If you could edit this to making Skylar stick around (however much she doesn't want to), that'd be super!

Once you've made the changes to your biography and roleplay sample, please repost your edited application below so that we can take another look. :)

Thank you! <3

—'ries

35


Dear Miss Darwin,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

36
Archived Applications / Re: Krystine Scarlethart
« on: 03/04/2016 at 12:27 »


Dear Miss Scarlethart,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

37
Suggestions & Questions / Re: Current laws
« on: 03/04/2016 at 12:10 »
Hi darling! To  answer your question: Yes, there is still tracking. Unforgivables are illegal for citizens and Aurors who are not Hit Wizards; however, you might not go to Azkaban for using the spells should you prove that circumstances required you to do so. With Hexenreich in control, though, Unforgivables might not be monitored so well (if you know what I mean, hem hem).

Hope this helps! :)


38
Archived Applications / Re: Jaquel Devaux
« on: 03/04/2016 at 05:44 »


Dear Mr. Devaux,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

39
Archived Applications / Re: Jaquel Devaux
« on: 03/04/2016 at 05:13 »
Hey, Jaquel, and welcome to the site! :D Your application is simply fabulous (there's so much personality to J.D., and I really adore the dancing bits!), but before we can accept it, there's just one thing or two edits I'd like to ask you to make.

First of all, you state in the application that Jaquel was Sorted into Slytherin. Before we can accept this application, we need to ask that you remove all mentions of belonging to a particular House, as the House that the character is Sorted into is decided by the administrators processing the application during Summer time. While your preference for Slytherin will definitely be taken into account, it does not guarantee a place in that House.

Secondly, in your roleplay sample you have J.D. leave the scene, which would make for a slightly abrupt ending to the thread and not give the person much to reply to. Could you please tweak it so that he hangs around (however much he may not want to)?

Once these changes have been made, and the edited application reposted below, we can take another look at your application and set you up. :)

Thank you! <3

—'ries

40
Archived Applications / Re: Icarus Argabright
« on: 02/04/2016 at 16:02 »


Dear Mr. Argabright,

We are delighted to inform you that your application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has been accepted. Term will begin on May 1st, 2016. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki; your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we cordially invite you to spend your summer there if you so wish. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies.

We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Regards,

Aries Paladin
Resistance Leader

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