Emma Jones

[Lilith Roberts]

E L S E W H E R E   C H I L D

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Emma Jones

Gender: Female

Age: 11

Bloodline: Halfblood

Parents/Guardians (Are they currently played characters?): 
No

Residence:
Godrics Hollow

Do you plan to have a connection to a particular existing place (for example: the daycare)?
No

Do you wish to be approved as a group with any other characters? If so who and for what IC reason?
No

Please list any other characters you already have at the site:
n/a

Biography: (100 words minimum.)
Emma was a very inquisitive child by nature, and was the one who always asked "why?" She started reading simple words by the age of four, and although she knew how to walk, preferred to stay still. Her parents were Muggle-lovers by nature and successful aurors. She also helped take care of her little cousin in whatever ways she could. She spent a lot of time with her dad, who would often color with her, and taught her how to sound out more complex words. Both parents tried to get Emma to be more active, but they had little luck for a long time. They finally almost gave in after an incident that left Emma with a scar on her right knee, and a broken bike. Her cousin Brittney had been a year old, and Emma was now four. The crash itself wasn't as bad as the landing. She had managed to tip the bike over, and had landed on a razor sharp shard of glass. The bike was fine until it was run over by the neighbor. It wasn't until a close family friend suggested swimming that they regained hope for sports. Emma instantly loved the water, and was swimming well in what seemed like no time. Even young Brittney enjoyed playing in her floaties with her mom.At the age of six, Emma met some of the other children on the block. She had seen them before, but it was at a summer block party that she really met everyone. She had sat in the corner for a majority of the party, reading her book and drinking lemonade, until another young girl had walked up. She had introduced herself as Katie, and started talking. At first Emma was nervous. It was her first time meeting someone her age, and she wasn't very good at introductions. Finally the girl had paused to ask Emma a little about herself. After Emma finished, the two talked about what they liked to do, and simple things that children usually talk about.

Roleplay:
Reply as your character to the following:

Godric Park.

Overhead, the sky was a crisp blue, for once clear of the ever-pervasive spongy clouds and rain. The sun was a lemony-yellow presence, high in the Eastern sky, and in front of it zipped three broomsticks in a straight line, or something very like one. One... two..... three... the boys passed, their shouts of excitement echoing as they chased the snitch, a tiny shimmer reflecting the sunlight.

Far below was another, much smaller broomstick.

It trugged along the ground, hugging close to it like a sluggish choo choo train and occasionally shuttering in protest. This was because said stick was currently being occupied by a very small girl who was tugging upward on the front of it with all her might, trying to coax it into doing what it had been expressly designed NOT to do.

"John, I said wait up!" The tiny girl squealed, giving the broomstick another tug.

Begrudgingly, it drifted upward a foot, and then sank, depositing the troublesome girl safely on the ground. Janey Hurst was not pleased. In a huff, she hopped off the toy safety broom, grabbing it firmly and thrusting it handle first into the turf.

Her brother was such a beast. He NEVER let her play! She folded her arms, seething blue eyes fixing on another figure nearby.  "You!" She barked, much more sharply than she meant to.

"...Do you want to play?"

Roleplay Response:
How Emma loved going to the park.

Why did the weather have to be so bleak?  And then she saw the brooms.  Why did they have to do this in pain sight of Muggles?

Then there was a tinier broomstick.  With no one on it?  How awkward!

What was going on?  She ran and tried to stop the broom.

The little girl was clearly in a hurry.  But for what?

And then she was safe.  PHEW.  Emma thought she would walk away.  Then she looked at her watch.  BLIMEY.  It's past curfew.

He was mean alright.  And then she watched from a distance while the little girl asked him to play.  WOW.

OTHER
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[Merryl Midthunder]

Hi Emma! Your application is coming along nicely, however, there are some things which will need to be sorted out before we can accept your application.

First, your username Emma Swan-Jones is pulled directly from Once Upon a Time. As per our character creation guidelines:

•  Please do not take names or characters directly from other books, series or movies and apply as them here. Also do not apply as a celebrity or real person. We are a roleplaying site interested in your original characters, not reinterpretations of pre-existing and copyrighted ones.

Even though the surname Swan isn't mentioned in your biography, on this site, usernames reflect each character's name. Therefore, you will need to post a helpdesk ticket requesting to change your username.

Secondly, I'm unsure whether your rp sample responds to the provided prompt, as it directly contradicts several aspects laid out within the prompt, such as Janey riding the broom in Godric Park -- a place in Hogsmeade, a wizarding village with no muggles around. Additionally, Emma doesn't interact with Janey at all. While this is a sample and Janey is not a played character on this site, the goal of the rp sample section in our application aims to give us an idea of how you would respond to a real thread once you've been accepted. Therefore, you should respond to the prompt with interactions that would allow Janey's hypothetical player to respond back, interacting with Emma and not an NPC.

Once you've changed your username and made the required changes to your rp sample, please repost your entire revised application below and we'll be happy to give it another look. Please feel free to pm me or any other administrator if you have any questions!

[Lilith Roberts]

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Lilith Roberts

Gender: Female

Age: 11

Bloodline: Halfblood

Parents/Guardians (Are they currently played characters?): 
No

Residence:
Godrics Hollow

Do you plan to have a connection to a particular existing place (for example: the daycare)?
No

Do you wish to be approved as a group with any other characters? If so who and for what IC reason?
No

Please list any other characters you already have at the site:
n/a

Biography: (100 words minimum.)
Lilith was a very inquisitive child by nature, and was the one who always asked "why?" She started reading simple words by the age of four, and although she knew how to walk, preferred to stay still. Her parents were Muggle-lovers by nature and successful aurors. She also helped take care of her little cousin in whatever ways she could. She spent a lot of time with her dad, who would often color with her, and taught her how to sound out more complex words. Both parents tried to get Lilith to be more active, but they had little luck for a long time. They finally almost gave in after an incident that left Lilith with a scar on her right knee, and a broken bike. Her cousin Brittney had been a year old, and Lilith was now four. The crash itself wasn't as bad as the landing. She had managed to tip the bike over, and had landed on a razor sharp shard of glass. The bike was fine until it was run over by the neighbor. It wasn't until a close family friend suggested swimming that they regained hope for sports. Lilith instantly loved the water, and was swimming well in what seemed like no time. Even young Brittney enjoyed playing in her floaties with her mom.At the age of six, Lilith met some of the other children on the block. She had seen them before, but it was at a summer block party that she really met everyone. She had sat in the corner for a majority of the party, reading her book and drinking lemonade, until another young girl had walked up. She had introduced herself as Katie, and started talking. At first Lilith was nervous. It was her first time meeting someone her age, and she wasn't very good at introductions. Finally the girl had paused to ask Lilith a little about herself. After Lilith finished, the two talked about what they liked to do, and simple things that children usually talk about.

Roleplay:
Reply as your character to the following:

Godric Park.

Overhead, the sky was a crisp blue, for once clear of the ever-pervasive spongy clouds and rain. The sun was a lemony-yellow presence, high in the Eastern sky, and in front of it zipped three broomsticks in a straight line, or something very like one. One... two..... three... the boys passed, their shouts of excitement echoing as they chased the snitch, a tiny shimmer reflecting the sunlight.

Far below was another, much smaller broomstick.

It trugged along the ground, hugging close to it like a sluggish choo choo train and occasionally shuttering in protest. This was because said stick was currently being occupied by a very small girl who was tugging upward on the front of it with all her might, trying to coax it into doing what it had been expressly designed NOT to do.

"John, I said wait up!" The tiny girl squealed, giving the broomstick another tug.

Begrudgingly, it drifted upward a foot, and then sank, depositing the troublesome girl safely on the ground. Janey Hurst was not pleased. In a huff, she hopped off the toy safety broom, grabbing it firmly and thrusting it handle first into the turf.

Her brother was such a beast. He NEVER let her play! She folded her arms, seething blue eyes fixing on another figure nearby.  "You!" She barked, much more sharply than she meant to.

"...Do you want to play?"

Roleplay Response:
The park.  It was a beautiful day for a stroll.  Then she saw something.  Quidditch?  Was that what it was?  Lilith watched the people on broomsticks in awe.  The girl was being so aggressive with her broom!  Like the broom was a toy!  Then off she went.  What was the word she was looking for?  Gentle.  And then she threw it.  Hard.  Why was Janey so harsh?  Especially towards her little brother.  Like he did nothing wrong.  Lilith decided to go home.  It was safest.  Full of wizards in Godric Park, Hogsmeade.  Near Hogwarts even.

OTHER
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[Sylvia Renn]

Hello, Lilith!

Your revisions are coming along well, there are just a couple more things before we can accept your app!

Your biography is your chance to describe how Lilith's history has been up until this point and how Lilith has felt about it! You've touched on a lot of events that have happened, but think about how Lilith felt during them as well and how those events helped shape who she is today!

As well, your RP sample needs a few tweaks. While you are now actively responding to the prompt, you have made it sound as if Lilith does not know Janey personally - which would also mean she shouldn't know Janey's name yet! And, though this is just a prompt, we do want you to treat it like a real post you would find on the boards, meaning that to have Lilith leave the park does not give "Janey" anything to reply to!

When re-writing your RP sample, try to picture the world from Lilith's point of view, as you reflected on how she thought about Janey being harsh. How does Lilith respond to Janey saying "...Do you want to play?" to her? Does she want to participate in the same games? How does she feel about someone unknown approaching her?

Keep in mind the RP sample is meant to be responded to, so keep your ending open to offer something for the other writer!

Once you've completed these changes, please post your entire revised applications below and we'll take another look! If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to any of the administrators or me!

[Lilith Roberts]

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Lilith Roberts

Gender: Female

Age: 11

Bloodline: Halfblood

Parents/Guardians (Are they currently played characters?): 
No

Residence:
Godrics Hollow

Do you plan to have a connection to a particular existing place (for example: the daycare)?
No

Do you wish to be approved as a group with any other characters? If so who and for what IC reason?
No

Please list any other characters you already have at the site:
n/a

Biography: (100 words minimum.)
Lilith was a very inquisitive child by nature, and was the one who always asked "why?" Why this?  Why that?  She started reading simple words by the age of four, and although she knew how to walk, preferred to stay still. She was a very patient child.  Her parents were Muggle-lovers by nature and successful aurors by trade. She also helped take care of her little cousin in whatever ways she could. She spent a lot of time with her dad, who would often color with her, and taught her how to sound out more complex words and be a normal child.  But that wasnt enough.  Both parents tried to get Lilith to be more active, but they had little luck for a long time. Baseball was the only thing she could play.  They finally almost gave in after an incident that left Lilith with a scar on her right knee, and a broken bike. Her cousin Brittney had been a year old, and Lilith was now four. The crash itself wasn't as bad as the landing. She had managed to tip the bike over, and had landed on a razor sharp shard of glass. Damn it hurt like heck.  The bike was fine until it was run over by the neighbor. Why did she do that?  It broke her poor little heart.  It wasn't until a close family friend suggested swimming that they regained hope for sports. Lilith instantly loved the water, and was swimming well in what seemed like no time. She loved aquafit and the idea of exercise in the water.  Like wow!  Even young Brittney enjoyed playing in her floaties with her mom.  At the age of six, Lilith met some of the other children on the block. She had seen them before, but it was at a summer block party that she really met everyone. She had sat in the corner for a majority of the party, reading her book and drinking lemonade, until another young girl had walked up. She was a wallflower like her.  She had introduced herself as Katie, and started talking. At first Lilith was nervous. And then they became fast friends.  It was her first time meeting someone her age, and she wasn't very good at introductions. Finally the girl had paused to ask Lilith a little about herself. After Lilith finished, the two talked about what they liked to do, and simple things that children usually talk about.  And then Lilith found out that she was a witch.

Roleplay:
Reply as your character to the following:

Godric Park.

Overhead, the sky was a crisp blue, for once clear of the ever-pervasive spongy clouds and rain. The sun was a lemony-yellow presence, high in the Eastern sky, and in front of it zipped three broomsticks in a straight line, or something very like one. One... two..... three... the boys passed, their shouts of excitement echoing as they chased the snitch, a tiny shimmer reflecting the sunlight.

Far below was another, much smaller broomstick.

It trugged along the ground, hugging close to it like a sluggish choo choo train and occasionally shuttering in protest. This was because said stick was currently being occupied by a very small girl who was tugging upward on the front of it with all her might, trying to coax it into doing what it had been expressly designed NOT to do.

"John, I said wait up!" The tiny girl squealed, giving the broomstick another tug.

Begrudgingly, it drifted upward a foot, and then sank, depositing the troublesome girl safely on the ground. Janey Hurst was not pleased. In a huff, she hopped off the toy safety broom, grabbing it firmly and thrusting it handle first into the turf.

Her brother was such a beast. He NEVER let her play! She folded her arms, seething blue eyes fixing on another figure nearby.  "You!" She barked, much more sharply than she meant to.

"...Do you want to play?"

Roleplay Response:
The park.  It was a beautiful day for a stroll.  The trees were a lovely blue-green.  The sky a bright blue.  Then she saw something.  Quidditch?  Was that what it was?  And then there was this girl.  Lilith watched the people on broomsticks in awe.  She didnt recognize her.  What was the girl doing anyways?  Gentle.  And then she threw the broom.  Hard.  Lilith was one inquisitive girl.  But there was a lot of witches and wizards in Godric Park.  More than what someone would see in a normal park.

OTHER
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[Marina Lamont]

Hello Lillith!

You're almost there! However, while, in your RP sample, Lilith now reacts to Janey's actions, she still gives Janey nothing to respond to, which would make it quite difficult for a thread to move forward. Furthermore, while we don't enforce a word count, your response is shorter than the standard posts on our site. For reference, you can use the 3x3 rule: three paragraphs of three sentences each.

If you're not sure what to write, you can talk about what brought Lilith to the park in the first place, what she thinks about Quidditch, what she's wearing -- whatever crosses your mind! Most importantly, though, she needs to give Janey something to react to.

Janey asks Lilith whether she wants to play or not, so how would Lilith react to that? Is she distrustful of strangers and of Janey's aggressive attitude? In that case, Lilith could turn down the invitation and wait to see what the other girl does next. Or is she instead eager to invite another child's invitation to play? In that case, she might enthusiastically say yes. Or perhaps Lilith has brought a toy or a game of her own she can offer as an alternative to Janey's proposal. It's up to you!

Once you've made those changes, please post your entire revised application below and we'll be happy to give it another look!

[Lilith Roberts]

CHARACTER INFORMATION
Character Name: Lilith Roberts

Gender: Female

Age: 11

Bloodline: Halfblood

Parents/Guardians (Are they currently played characters?): 
No

Residence:
Godrics Hollow

Do you plan to have a connection to a particular existing place (for example: the daycare)?
No

Do you wish to be approved as a group with any other characters? If so who and for what IC reason?
No

Please list any other characters you already have at the site:
n/a

Biography: (100 words minimum.)
Lilith was a very inquisitive child by nature, and was the one who always asked "why?" Why this?  Why that?  She started reading simple words by the age of four, and although she knew how to walk, preferred to stay still. She was a very patient child.  Her parents were Muggle-lovers by nature and successful aurors by trade. She also helped take care of her little cousin in whatever ways she could. She spent a lot of time with her dad, who would often color with her, and taught her how to sound out more complex words and be a normal child.  But that wasnt enough.  Both parents tried to get Lilith to be more active, but they had little luck for a long time. Baseball was the only thing she could play.  They finally almost gave in after an incident that left Lilith with a scar on her right knee, and a broken bike. Her cousin Brittney had been a year old, and Lilith was now four. The crash itself wasn't as bad as the landing. She had managed to tip the bike over, and had landed on a razor sharp shard of glass. Damn it hurt like heck.  The bike was fine until it was run over by the neighbor. Why did she do that?  It broke her poor little heart.  It wasn't until a close family friend suggested swimming that they regained hope for sports. Lilith instantly loved the water, and was swimming well in what seemed like no time. She loved aquafit and the idea of exercise in the water.  Like wow!  Even young Brittney enjoyed playing in her floaties with her mom.  At the age of six, Lilith met some of the other children on the block. She had seen them before, but it was at a summer block party that she really met everyone. She had sat in the corner for a majority of the party, reading her book and drinking lemonade, until another young girl had walked up. She was a wallflower like her.  She had introduced herself as Katie, and started talking. At first Lilith was nervous. And then they became fast friends.  It was her first time meeting someone her age, and she wasn't very good at introductions. Finally the girl had paused to ask Lilith a little about herself. After Lilith finished, the two talked about what they liked to do, and simple things that children usually talk about.  And then Lilith found out that she was a witch.

Roleplay:
Reply as your character to the following:

Godric Park.

Overhead, the sky was a crisp blue, for once clear of the ever-pervasive spongy clouds and rain. The sun was a lemony-yellow presence, high in the Eastern sky, and in front of it zipped three broomsticks in a straight line, or something very like one. One... two..... three... the boys passed, their shouts of excitement echoing as they chased the snitch, a tiny shimmer reflecting the sunlight.

Far below was another, much smaller broomstick.

It trugged along the ground, hugging close to it like a sluggish choo choo train and occasionally shuttering in protest. This was because said stick was currently being occupied by a very small girl who was tugging upward on the front of it with all her might, trying to coax it into doing what it had been expressly designed NOT to do.

"John, I said wait up!" The tiny girl squealed, giving the broomstick another tug.

Begrudgingly, it drifted upward a foot, and then sank, depositing the troublesome girl safely on the ground. Janey Hurst was not pleased. In a huff, she hopped off the toy safety broom, grabbing it firmly and thrusting it handle first into the turf.

Her brother was such a beast. He NEVER let her play! She folded her arms, seething blue eyes fixing on another figure nearby.  "You!" She barked, much more sharply than she meant to.

"...Do you want to play?"

Roleplay Response:
The park.  It was a nice day for a walk.  But Lilith just came to go on the swings to clear her mind.

To Lilith Quidditch was a bloodbath.  Nothing but a joke.  Why were people into such sports?

Today Lilith was wearing a simple dress with flowers on it.  She wished she could play but she had homework to do.  But she could play for a bit...

OTHER
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[Calypso Ross]

Accepted!

Please check your PMs!