Application for Hogwarts School
→ CHARACTER INFORMATION.Name: Emrys Abraham Blue
Birthday: October 5th, 1939
Hometown: Linz, Austria. He moved to Northumberland, England after only a few years in Austria that he barely remembers and has never returned since.
Bloodline: Muggleborn
Magical Strength (pick one): Charms
Magical Weakness (pick one): Transfiguration
Year (pick two): Fourth (1st choice), Fifth
Biography: the only reason why i continue at all
faith in reason, i wasted my life playing dumb
signs and wonders, sea lion caves in the dark
blind faith, god’s grace, nothing else left to impart
Emrys Blue drowned the summer before he turned ten years old.
The boy was sitting on a rock in the ocean. It was rather far out and if he or his sister realized this, neither of them chose to say anything about it, and instead talked about cloud patterns and counting lightning bolts. Dark waves crashing against his dangling feet and thunder cracking like bombs made of popcorn. A girl sat next to him, his sister, and her eyes were closed as rain rain rain poured from the grey sky and landed in perfect drops on her face. Faraway on the shore was a cottage where their mother and her husband were yelling and throwing things, but this was just a speck in the distance; the storm was so near and so heavy and anything that couldn’t be seen was not to be thought of.
His sister listened to the rain and to the thunder and to Emrys, who was telling her stories about mermaids and starfish and ghosts with hypothermia. He splashed his bare feet in the water and smelled the salt in the air, wondering out loud about anything that flitted into his mind. Thunder crashed, lightning streaked the sky. And then it was silent. She opened her eyes and Emrys was gone. She screamed and the storm drowned her out. So she jumped.
And then she saved him, somehow, even though neither of them knew how to swim and when she jumped and opened her eyes she saw nothing but the dark. Years later, all she can remember of what happened after he fell in was, after oxygen was breathed back into Emyrs’ lungs, the two of them bundled in white towels and shoved in front of a fireplace as their mother hugged them wordlessly while their father yelled in the background.
This was the moment of Emrys’ life that changed everything. He had seen something in that water, he would insist for a few days and then, later, refuse to say anything at all about it, in that darkness. It was something that could have been the face of God or the core of the universe or his own heart, something beautiful and terrible all at once. And this was the moment that gave Emrys the hope for good even though he’d been brought into an empty world that didn’t particularly want him in it.
A month after, Emrys’ stepfather would sell their summer home. A month after that, his mother would start coughing and hurting a lot until suddenly, he was not allowed to see her. Two weeks after that, she would die in the middle of the night, choking on her own breath from the tuberculosis in her lungs, and for months after that, he would not be able to sleep without imagining how she died, alone and scared and not knowing that he loved her more than words could describe. Emrys and his sister would sit Shiva on their own while their stepfather spent the seven days passed out on the couch stinking of alcohol and grief. And during that time Emrys’ face would burn constantly from leaked tears or battery acid and he would pray to the God or to the light or to the dark that had pulled him from the ocean and saved his life; he would pray with the fervor of only the most desperate or the most hopeful. And what he prayed for was this: That there was a heaven and that his mother was there, and that one day he feel less alone.
Ten days after his mother’s funeral, Emrys curled into his sister’s embrace and dreamed of his mother. She had survived the Shoah while pregnant with him, and in his dream he saw her tripping over roots and running through trees as the oppressive night sky watched from above, cold and empty as stars, and he was running next to her even though history had not happened that way. When he woke, he was smiling even as tears fell and stained the pillow, even as his stepfather yelled and smashed bottles, even as his whole world fell apart.
The year after, he received a letter, informing him of his magic and subsequent place at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry the coming term. It was the answer to his prayers, and for three years Hogwarts became an escape from the ghosts at home.
A week into summer holiday before returning to Hogwarts for his fourth year, Emrys had an explosive argument with his stepfather, who was becoming increasingly more unstable. His sister had, years earlier, moved out and gone to university, and as such summers had become unbearable. What the fight had been about was insignificant. What only mattered was that Emrys had decided that he could no longer live with the man, not for a minute longer.
So he packed up his bags and, without a word, returned to Hogwarts for the summer. Only something had changed in him. Something had made him stand a little different. Crooked, maybe, or with more intent. Whatever it was, Emrys was no longer who he was the week before. And maybe this was the year he figured out who, exactly, that was.
should i tear my eyes out now?
everything i see returns to you somehow
should i tear my heart out now?
everything i feel returns to you somehow
→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.House Request: i’m leaning Ravenclaw, but i could also see slytherin or even hufflepuff… feel free to sort!
Personality:He comes across as a rather mysterious boy, and he rather likes the idea of being speculated about. He doesn’t particularly like anyone knowing anything about his past and likes coming up with strange stories and lies to mess around with people. He never it takes it very far, but as someone that is very good at lying, he finds it all a big amusing. Unless given a particular reason to trust someone, he tends to keep his secrets to himself. That way, he has no chance of hurting himself or anyone else with whatever is going on with him at the moment.
He tends to say things sardonically and sarcastically - it’s comforting for him to know that others believe him to be cynical and aloof instead of his true nature, which is actually one that sees the absolute good in every single person he knows. This rather remarkable belief in the inherent goodness of humankind stems from his belief in a higher power, whether it be God or another divine, that was created from his near-death experience as a child and also his mother’s faith in God. Emrys finds safety in contradicting his core beliefs. If no one knows how he truly feels then no one will know who he truly is, which in turn will keep him from getting hurt.
His sensitivity to world and its suffering is seen by him as a sort of weakness. He can’t help his awareness and empathy of others’ suffering, but he can pretend to be the opposite, which tries to do but usually fails miserably at. Emrys often sympathize with the people that have hurt him, even when they are entirely at fault. All of it somehow leads to him placing the blame of most situations on himself. Therefore, as an obviously flawed defense mechanism, he erects 9-foot thick walls between himself and most everyone that he suspects could care about him.
This being said, certain situations and people bring down that wall and reveal the softness inside of him. He has a particular soft spot for animals (especially weird looking ones) and anyone that he feels he needs to protect. He also feels a special kinship with other Jewish people, as he’s declared that Jews should always stick together. And anytime he’s tired (which is almost always… he never sleeps but always needs it) brings out the goofiness in him; this is when he is most prone to anything from bouts of wild dancing and adventures to sudden breakdowns. But talking to a sleepy Emrys is a tricky business - he can either be overly emotional, ridiculously silly, and grumpy. He is also particularly weak when it comes to baked goods and caffeine - a slice of blueberry pie and steaming cup of coffee are fool-proof ways to get him to warm up to you.
His mother’s parents (who were both muggles) were killed in concentration camps early in the war. Emrys is deeply proud of his Jewish heritage, which was a trait instilled in him by his proud mother, and keeps kosher as a result. His earliest memories are of the war,the house’s basement that he and his mother were sheltered in until he was three years old, and fleeing to England to avoid persecution.
Emrys is naturally curious and is especially interested in art, music, nature, mythology, and the strange workings of the universe. Finding people that love the same things as him often lead to him talking passionately about the subject for far more time than necessary. When he is interested in something, he tends to get lost in learning absolutely everything he can about it, sacrificing sleep and other “less important” things to gain more knowledge about whatever has piqued his interest. This results in a horrible habit of completely disregarding important things like homework assignments, responsibilities, and the fact that human beings need to sleep and eat to survive. Even when he’s not latched onto a special interest, he’s scatterbrained and daydreaming, and rarely pays attention to things that he deems, whether subconsciously or consciously, unimportant.
To sum up, Emrys gives off a rather aloof and cynical first impression. He can sometimes be impossible to deal with (especially in the morning, before his coffee), but despite his whole-hearted attempts at proving otherwise, most people know that he’s filled with a remarkable capacity for love and is actually a ridiculous softie that dances badly, loves sweets, and is severely sleep-deprived. He’s just looking to be found, to be loved, and to be cared for.
Appearance:Emrys is tall and slender, with long limbs that allow him to take long, striding steps and spontaneous bouts of (usually bad) dancing. He’s got a young, sad, even pretty look about him, with his pale, lightly freckled face, dark, messy curls, and long lashes. His large, doe-ish, grey-blue eyes are very expressive and tend to give away his true emotions, often contradictory to his words.
His style is casual yet somewhat odd - he tends to wear very random shirts that he finds in muggle stores (his favorite is a yellow t-shirt with a dancing skeleton on it). He loves sweaters, especially ones that practically swallow his entire frame like a blanket, and enjoys a strange colored/patterned sock. He rarely participates in any of the typical trends of the era and dresses entirely to appease himself. He doesn’t really have the time or brain power to care too much about his appearance. As such, his hair is often messy, his socks mismatched, shoes rarely tied, wire-frame glasses eskew, and always late to something or another.
→ SAMPLE ROLEPLAY.Option I:The dungeons were dreaded by many, and while Emrys understood where this came from (the damp air, the strangely metallic smell, the overall feeling of foreboding and anguish, etc.), he found a certain comfort in the places that most avoided. There was an electric peace to it, to the unsavory and unexplored, and it was also the only place where he could really get some semblance of quiet.
Pulling out a sheet of parchment and, well, a piece of chalk (he’d left his quill and ink in his room, again, and for some reason he always had a few loose pieces of chalk rolling around in his bag and covering everything with blue dust), he crouched down on the stone floor and started writing. It was a letter to his sister Esther, who had long since gotten used to his small, sloppy, chalk-smudged writing.
He was in the middle of recounting his recent potions adventure that had involved something that was quite possibly the most accurate physical representation of a fart anyone had ever seen when a small voice called something out. The words echoed through the stone walls and he frowned, shoving the parchment back into his bag. No, there wasn’t Emma Birch here, and he said so.
“Emma Birch isn’t here, I think.” Emrys was rather certain it was a first year on some kind of dare - they were always forced to do scary and silly things, and he would bet his left ear on this girl being from Gryffindor. The upperclassmen could be particularly vicious in their pranks. “Who are you?”
→ ABOUT YOU.Please list any characters you have on the site (current and previous): none.
How did you find us?: searching the world wide web.
