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Messages - Martin Hawksworth

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1
Suggestions & Questions / Re: ???
« on: 10/08/2017 at 23:06 »
Hey Nadine! So sorry for the confusion here, there was simply a mistake in words applied to the application response. Remember though, for this plot, that it is absolutely safe to say ‘most’ of the Hexenreich members unlucky enough to get captured are now in Azkaban. We had no intention of implying that absolutely all of the awesome characters roleplayed within recent months and years are now locked away in Azkaban, yet the situation isn’t entirely friendly when it comes to the previously known members of the group.

Chances are, during conversations amongst the public, Hexenreich are being classified as imprisoned. Period. Because that is what people tend to do when attempting to grab at normalcy once again. Those that somehow escaped the judgment for a lesser sentence will be distrusted, and of course there are those that stealthily slipped away, out of sight, before the Ministry was able to put all hands on the situation.

Again, apologies! But also, remember that during the application process, we tend to be forced to generalize as much as possible knowing that a member, both new and returning, simply want to set up base and begin learning the ropes or grooming their new character. Some of our responses can become pretty daunting as it is without making sure to remind or present detailed historical information within a reply. Because of this, the occasional ‘oopsies’ happen, but usually a quick conversation with other players or a quick read through our information pages lead a person toward the greater complexities of Hoggies history.

I will do my best to start filling in the government side of the Hexenreich story so that it can serve as information to newcomers as well!

2
Hello Jeremiah!

Your application is coming along nicely, but it is just shy of the 300 word minimum. It won't take much to increase it though. Tell me a little bit about Jeremy, like when he became interested in soccer. I realized that you have said he is a part of a muggle-centric sport, and of course that is lovely, but tell me what drew him to it. From what I have found, it is more common for players to become a major part of the team at around 18, though a few players have been signed at 15, it seems rare.

Does Jeremy spend most of his time practicing? How does he juggle school at Hogwarts with his ongoing and immense responsibilities with Manchester United? Does he have any difficulty in keeping his magical abilities hidden from the team?

You say he joined the team at 15, but in your second paragraph title fourteen years old, he is already a part of the team. Is this correct?

Once you have taken these question into account and adjusted your biography a bit, please post the entire reworked application below and we will be happy to take another look.

3
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: Jace Pendragon - Elsewhere Adult
« on: 14/03/2017 at 23:19 »
Accepted!

4
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: elsewhere adult callum airey
« on: 08/03/2017 at 00:19 »
Hello Callum! I really enjoyed reading your biography, Cal certainly seems like a busy young man.

There are a few things that I want to draw your attention to so that you can consider a change - the first one is your magic levels request. We ask that all adults have 'balanced levels' initially, in part due to the fact that all schools would have done their best to provide him with enough experience in the various magical directions as possible. You also suggested that Callum was quite good with his studies, having received 'outstanding' marks in most of his classes.

The low Charms and Divination levels that you are requesting convey to me that the school was lax in their responsibility and that Callum likely received poor marks in those courses. Now we don't mind unbalanced levels but first you must submit a special application to admins that explains why he might have such a low aptitude in those areas, and possibly how he still got through school with such lacking ability in Charms and Divination. You can fix this right away by altering your levels request a bit, OR you can submit a special request here with an explanation and wait for the result.

Also, you say that he graduated Hogwarts in 1942, but you also have listed that his education is Gryffindor '37... this should be Gryffindor '42 if he graduated in 1942.

Callum seems like an interesting person, and clearly he keeps himself busy if he has become a 'professional' soccer play AND 'professional' baker in only a few years. I am hoping you'd be willing to provide a little more explanation in his biography about these passions of his, for I imagine becoming good in either would require an immense amount of time. How has he balanced his day to day activities so that he can focus on such different interests? What makes him so drawn to the physical nature of Soccer and the quite detailed nature of Baking?

Finally, in your roleplay response Callum reached out and gripped Joshua's shoulder to pull himself up from the floor. This can be considered powerplaying, as you are presuming that Joshua is close enough to Cal to lend the shoulder, and willing to brace himself to aid in Cal's return to standing. This kind of behavior is perfectly fine if you and the other writer had agreed to make certain assumptions to save time while conveying a story or a situation, but for this roleplay response it is better if you respond in a way that will allow the other 'writer' to respond in turn with their own character choices. If you could rewrite this part of your response just slightly, to remove the small element of powerplay, we would appreciate it.

Go ahead and make a few changes to your application and then post the entire edited application below. We will be happy to take another look and get back to you soon.

5
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: Bento Marques - Elsewhere Adult
« on: 25/01/2017 at 08:27 »
Hello Bento!

Your application is coming along nicely. It is quite intriguing and I enjoy the mystery you've woven into the biography, but I would like to know if you have any solid plans at this moment regarding the accident, the 'curse' you mention which turned Bento toward darkness. Darker, complex story-lines require special requests and I encourage you to take a quick look here for more information on why we ask that a special request is made.

You haven't mentioned anything specific, you have only eluded to something that may be darker than some personal plots, and if you have clear plans we would love to hear about them!

Reply below with either a brief explanation of your intentions if you don't quite have any plans yet, and if you do and think that you'll want to move forward with a special request, tell us here as well!

6
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: kaede akatsuki
« on: 11/01/2017 at 00:40 »
Accepted!

7
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: elsewhere adult - p.e.c
« on: 11/01/2017 at 00:28 »
Accepted!

8
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: kaede akatsuki
« on: 11/01/2017 at 00:07 »
Hello Kaede!

My goodness, now that was quite a decision she made to break free from her past... your application is definitely coming along well, I just wanted to make sure to ask about how such a decision will ultimately affect her over time. I can see how she came to such a decision from your writing, I just want to make sure that she isn't a closet arsonist. This is of course a leap, but Kaede could easily have just abandoned the home, disappeared without word, yet she chose a much more drastic means of stating her wishes that no one follow her.

We do our best to stick to a PG13 rating at this site. The casual mention of it in her biography is fine, but if you were planning on hearkening back on her decision, if she were to lean toward the need to 'start over' and 'forget the old' again, then we would have to talk!

So, tell me just a little more about how this decision will affect her, and whether you plan on lingering on the detail of her mindset at any point. Again, if it is merely a passing explanation found in her bio, delineating her past from her present and future storyline, then I think this is perfectly within our rating.

You can reply below with your comments/clarification and we will be sure to respond as soon as possible!

9
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: damascus skye
« on: 08/01/2017 at 22:25 »
Accepted!

10
Accepted!

11
Hello Saoirse!

I am intrigued with how your app is coming along. I just want to ask for a couple things before we get you all set.

First, I enjoy the reference to an interesting tale, but I feel as though you should wrap it up with a more obvious transition to your actual character. I don't want to make any incorrect presumptions, such as what part of the story relates to Saoirse. Though I will ask, just to clarify, would Saoirse relate/represent the child?

I do enjoy the artistic use of myths and fairy tales within biographies, and especially the ones found within the Märchen clan, but remember too that it might cause a bit too much confusion in a reader that has happened upon a bio because they are interested in learning more about your character. A sentence or two near the end might provide just the transition from a story that conveys your character's mindset or hopes/dreams into your character's outward nature and 'reality'.

Secondly, I ask that you edit away one of the more graphic and jarring elements of the bio - when the woman took the fisherman's life. Remember that we all do our best to adhere to a PG-13 rating and this toys with being graphic, depending upon our reader's strength of imagination - and I think it is safe to say that no one here lacks a vivid imagination ;)

Once you are ready, please reply below with the entire revised application and we will be happy to take another look!

12
Thank you so much for the alterations to your roleplay response. I realize that there might be some confusion with what had been intended with the roleplay sample thread, which has affected your response. Apologies for the confusion!

It was the heel of Amelia Nixon's shoe that caught between stones which caused the woman to fall. Now she might actually be hurt, slightly scraped up, or perfectly fine save for the embarrassment, so definitely convey however much concern as you would like! But there won't be any obvious signs of a 'broken heel', save for the messed up shoe within arms reach.

If you could alter your response just slightly again in your next submission of the app, we will be sure to get everything taken care of :)

13
Elsewhere Accepted / Re: Quaylan Viridian Slyph
« on: 03/01/2017 at 22:30 »
Accepted!

14
Archived Applications / Re: Molly Goodwin
« on: 31/12/2016 at 07:24 »
Accepting Application
Miss Goodwin,

Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.

Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager

15
Archived Applications / Re: Octavian Griffin
« on: 31/12/2016 at 07:12 »
Accepting Application
Mr Griffin,

Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.

Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager

16
Archived Applications / Re: Iola Ricardus
« on: 31/12/2016 at 07:05 »
Accepting Application
Miss Ricardus,

Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.

Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager

17
Archived Applications / Re: Elladora Price
« on: 27/12/2016 at 21:27 »
Miss Price,

Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.

Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager

18
Archived Applications / Re: Valkyrie Stymest
« on: 27/12/2016 at 21:20 »
Hello Valkyrie! Your application is coming along quite well, there is just a small consideration to be made in your roleplay response.

I enjoy your take on it and I can easily relate to Val's annoyance with little Evangeline, but remember to keep your response open for continued replies. You will want to open your reply up to a possible response from Evangeline so that the exchange between your characters lasts. You of course know what you might want to convey in an exchange between characters; an emotion maybe, a promise, possibly a happy happenstance, but behind the scenes we ask that a thread contain 3 good replies by every character involved before that character can claim it as a 'completed thread'.

So, please have Val linger for a moment in the hall, or simply 'attempt to leave' without actually stating that Val left. This would/will allow the writer behind Evangeline to react to Val's presence.

19
Archived Applications / Re: Newton Mariner
« on: 27/12/2016 at 20:46 »
Mr Mariner,

Congratulations, your application to Hogwarts School has been accepted. Term begins 01 January, 2017. Currently, students have gathered at Camp Loki.

Your admission is joint for both the school and Camp Loki, and we encourage you to spend your summer there. Should you choose, you may also visit our Elsewhere board via the Floo Network to purchase school supplies or catch the train to Hogwarts! We look forward to seeing you at the School.


Sincerely,
Martin Hawksworth,
Auror, Office Manager

20
Oh wonderful, it is always great to see characters return!

We would love to see her re-apped, as it provides a great excuse to update an old biography and it presents an opportunity to share what your character has been up to during the IC years since she was roleplayed.

I'm so excited to hear all about her travels, her life,  the potential drama, or the sweet moments that might have filled those years!

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