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Author Topic: Etepa Dane Student Application  (Read 624 times)

Etepa Dane

    (01/04/2017 at 00:13)
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Name: Etepa Dane
Birthday: January 8th, 1963?
Hometown: FlemingtonBloodline: Pureblood

Magical Strength: Divination
Magical Weakness: Divination
Year: One perferably, if not two
Biography: I sat and waited at the door. Watching the chimney. Spending every moment hoping that my letter would come. I sat in agony every year, watching my siblings leaving, and coming back in their school uniforms, with tons of stories to tell. I watched, as they ignored my motions for play, my riddles, and my jokes. Instead, chatting about the latest brooms, the newest Proffessors, and who had the best grades. I sat there disapeering in the mists of the household.

Then, I turned 11. Still, I was not someone worthy to be noticeable. Not until I was accepted. So day after day I watched others surrounded in love. I sat at the ruins of my loyalship.

Until today. Today was the day I received my letter. I wasn't going to let anything come between me and my one, slim, open window, to the real world. The only place, where I was noticiable. Then, I heard a "THUMP".

I dashed outside, and picked up the pile of letters that were dropped on the porch. Rapidly, I sorted through them, reading name after name. Reading them twice. Then again. Soon, I was not alone.

The other eleven year olds at the other eleven year olds at the orphanage surrounded me, eventually pushing me out of the way. All I could do, was stare in disbelief. Slowly, I crept upstairs, and layed in bed. Crying myself to sleep. Until I heard a poke at my window.

House Request:Gryffindor
Personality:Smart, Brave, Friendly, Helpful
Appearance: 4 ft 10. Dirty bond, Hazel brown eyes
How did you find us?:Google

* Hazel Wright

    (02/04/2017 at 02:02)
  • Former Head of Hufflepuff
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Hello Etepa, and welcome to the site!

Your application is coming along well, there are just a couple things that you'll need to do before we can accept you.

First, you are missing the response to one of the sample roleplay options which can be found here.

Second, I enjoyed your biography but I would like to know if you've decided to have Etepa an orphan as you suggested near the end of your bio, or a part of a family as you suggested in the beginning when you mentioned siblings. OR had you meant to suggest something that I missed, something that may have happened to the family which resulted in the moved to an orphanage? Tell me more!

When you have thought of which of the two sample roleplays to respond to (and remember to write them in third person) and have added to your biography a bit, please post the entire revised application below and we will be happy to take another look!

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